


Mystery of the Universe

by Vertencar



Series: Listen to the Sound of a New Tomorrow [11]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Fluff, Pregnancy, timebaby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-04-05 15:52:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 87,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14047656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vertencar/pseuds/Vertencar
Summary: Taking the box in hands, River frowned at the foreign contraption, a crease forming on her forehead.Suddenly, she froze. “What…” She breathed out, her voice all of sudden lost. River opened her mouth and it quavered for a second, a whisper escaped her mouth. “…What?” She glanced up at her mother before quickly looking back down at the box, as if she would forget about it. “Mum…” She whispered, her voice stuck in her throat, “It’s a— It’s a pregnancy test…”





	1. If You Ever Wanna Join Me Baby, I'll Be Dancing in the Dark

River ran down the stairs, jumping off the last steps, and turned around swiftly in the direction of the kitchen. The corridor’s floor moved before her eyes and she stopped to lean against a wall with a small giddy laugh. "—Oof."

Above her head, she heard a door slamming shut and she looked up at the ceiling with a grimace of disgust. She could hear faint giggles coming from the room upstairs and groaned, shaking the sickening giggles and soon moans from her head.

Pushing away from the wall, she walked quickly to the kitchen, passing through the backdoor and into the yard. Outside, in the night lightened only by stars, she caught sight of the Doctor’s form, playing a sort of football game with nearly deflated balloons. For the moment, he wasn’t very good at it. 

She heard him groan and whine, talking to himself in a bare whisper. Repressing a giggle at his sight, she made her way to him, careful of all the things littering the grass. It was near to 4 am and her parent’s 6th wedding anniversary party had left some after effects to the backyard. Confetti were lying everywhere, on the grass on the table and even in some bushes. The only table outside was full of empty bottles of alcohol, some had rolled to the grass and there was one still spilling on the table. Plastic goblets were everywhere, literally everywhere. 

The party had been a real blast, and full of alcohol when the eldest and wisest people had began to depart. Now the backyard was a rightful mess.

River tottered to the Doctor and stopped his little game with a hand on his forearm. With a small start, he turned to her and beamed at her sight. She pulled him by the hand and lead him in the direction of the house, "Follow me."

The Doctor stumbled on his two feet as she dragged him away at a fairly rapid pace. "Where?" He slurred, trying to keep the pace in the dark without walking on his own feet, which meant a complicated act of concentration for him. 

"Out of here." She stated and tugged at his hand. He stumbled against her and held on to her waist for support, and also because he could and wanted to. River squirmed in his arms with a giggle, "Stop it…" She laughed giddily and pushed her elbow against his side to make him stop tickling her.

Leading him to the TARDIS, she opened the doors with a snap of her fingers and entered the machine, leaving the Doctor’s hand to walk up the stairs and to the console.

"Close the doors behind you." She said with a small slur and he stopped at the doors, closing them and leaning his weight against it after the action. He brushed his fringe out of his eyes with the back of his hand and gazed at River with glassy eyes.

River leaned against the console to remove her heels and sighed in relief at finding back any sensation in her feet. She shoved them away under the console and leaned her back against the console, bracing her hands on either side of it.

She caught the gaze of the Doctor and smiled in return, almost dreamily. 

"Why are we ‘ere?" The Doctor spoke up, he blinked several times to adjust his vision to the lights of the TARDIS.

"Soundproofing," Was River’s only reply. She sighed and looked up at the time rotor, a small chuckle escaping her. Looking back down at the Doctor, she saw him frown and it elicited an unexpected giggle from her. "Mom and dad are ‘bout to have sex. Don’t wanna hear that."

The Doctor grimaced and River rolled her eyes with a chuckle, leaning on her elbows and gazing up at him. Her chest heaved with every breath and the Doctor kept his eyes on her, a small smile tugging at his lips. 

There was a silence between the two, River bit her lower lip to stop a new wave of laughter coming up. She didn’t even know what was funny at that point. She saw the Doctor snort and push away from the doors. He walked up the stairs without stumbling on his feet and she opened her arms to him with a grin.

He took her in his arms and lifted her on top of the console. The TARDIS groaned at them but they didn’t pay her any attention. 

The Doctor weaved himself between her thighs and began to cover her neck and jaw with open mouthed kisses. River tilted her head to the side and giggled at the tickling sensation. Looking back up at her, the Doctor smirked, "You’re drunk."

She shook her head slightly, trying to be at least convincing. "So are you." She slurred in return and chuckled as he nuzzled his face against her neck.

Lifting his head from the crook of her neck, he placed one hand against her cheek and brought her mouth to his. She opened her mouth under his and his other hand came up to her waist. 

She leaned back on the console with a hand for support but the TARDIS suddenly churned and she was propelled against the Doctor who regained his footing just before she could fall from the console. 

The TARDIS moved, as in flight, and the two looked at each other with questioning gazes. "What d’you do?" The Doctor asked, his hands still at her waist but looking up at the time rotor.

"Nothing!" River exclaimed and leaned to the side to activate the blue boringers. The Doctor looked up at the screen as the TARDIS stopped churning.

"We’re in the vortex." He stated and with a shrug pushed the screen out of the way.

"It’s ‘kay then." River said with a roll of the eyes. She directed the Doctor’s gaze back to her and pulled his face closer, finding his lips back on hers. The Doctor moaned slightly and pulled her closer by the waist, eliciting a small whine from her.

His hands rose up her back and he removed her thin flannel shirt, throwing it to the side. He began to mouth at her collarbone and descended to the edge of her bra but River stopped him with a tug of his hair. He looked back up at her.

"Bedroom." She simply said, breathlessly. "This console is definitely too uncomfortable." She laughed and the TARDIS groaned underneath her.

The Doctor nodded without a sound, lifting her from the console and continuing to nip at her collarbone and the soft flesh of her breast. River giggled at the tickle of his nose against her skin and placed her legs on either side of his waist for better support. 

Surprisingly, the Doctor managed to carry her, more than a little drunk and not looking in front of him, from the console up to their bedroom and River was more than a little impressed by his skills.

The door of their bedroom was slammed shut by his foot. From the inside of their bedroom small giggles and not so small moans were heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started to write this story two years ago but decided that before publishing it I should put some context, hence the 200k before that. Sorry? ;)  
> Now it's finally here and I hope you will enjoy it! Leave a kudo and comment to support me into this 2-year-long adventure! :)
> 
> Chapter title from Imagine Dragons with 'Dancing In the Dark'.


	2. She's Around, Without Audible Sound

Amy entered the kitchen, a basket of laundry in her arms and a thin film of sweat on her forehead. Closing the backdoor with a foot, she made her way to the kitchen table and dropped the basket on it.

The Doctor looked up with a startle, the small contraption falling from his hands and to the table, small pieces rolling away. When he realised it was Amy, he looked back down at his toy and tried to reunite all the pieces together. 

"Where River?" She asked, leaning on a chair, and saw him shrug. She raised an eyebrow, "You look quite bored on your own." A flicker of a smile graced her lips, he was feeling quite at a lose without any human being willing to interact with him.

He sighed and let go of his contraption, leaning against the back of his chair, "She’s sleeping." Amy furrowed her brows and her eyes fell on the clock on the wall. It was nearly 11 am, and not in her habits to sleep in. As if responding to her silent question, the Doctor cleared his throat, "She said she was tired." He toyed with the small bits of his contraption before looking back up at her. "Didn’t felt very good I think."

Amy hummed in compassion, pursing her lips into a frown. "Well, I’m going to check on her. You can fold the laundry if you’re feeling like doing something productive." She pushed the basket in his direction and he looked up with the beginning of a pout on his lips. "Come on." She urged him with a small snort.

The Doctor rolled his eyes slightly, straightening on his chair and picking clothes out of the basket to fold them. With her task successfully done, Amy walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs.

Slowly opening the door of River’s bedroom, she peeked inside to see the curtains still drawn over the windows and the form of River covered by her duvet up to her chin on the bed. She entered the room and closed the door quietly behind her, tiptoeing to the side of River’s bed. The latter had her back turned to her and Amy placed a delicate hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, sweetheart." She brushed curls out of her daughter’s face and River slowly opened her eyes, her hand coming up to her face to scrub at them. She pressed her face further into the pillow and a sigh escaped her mouth. "Are you feeling alright?" Amy asked in concerned and River only shrugged, accompanied by a non-committal noise. 

Amy pressed her lips together, pondering what to do for a second. Then, she rounded the bed and crawled on top of it, laying face to face with her daughter. She removed locks of hair from River’s eyes and dropped her hand to her shoulder, softly stroking it with her thumb. 

"What’s wrong?" She tried again and River’s eyes blinked open, a veil of sleep still inside them.

She shrugged again, "I’m just tired." She mumbled and nuzzled her face into her pillow, placing her hand underneath her cheek. Amy saw her grimace slightly, "And my head hurts." 

Amy hummed in compassion, dropping her hand from River’s shoulder and placing it by her side. She began to think about what sickness River may be having, maybe it was something she caught while out on an adventure with the Doctor, which wouldn’t have been the best since she didn’t know anything about foreign illnesses. Or maybe it was nothing and she just needed a few more hours of rest. But Amy couldn’t help to worry, even just a bit, this was her mother’s side coming up to protect her daughter from any harm. 

She first thought about a cold or a small flu but quickly got rid of the idea. They were in August and as far as she knew, River and the Doctor hadn’t travelled in any cold places for the past weeks or days.

River had closed back her eyes and Amy bit her lower lip, "Are you hurting anywhere else?" She tried.

River made a non-committal noise in the back of her throat and opened her eyes slightly, "Well, I’m just really annoyed because my period were supposed to arrive last week and they didn’t. Now, I feel like they’re going to arrive today and it hurts and I’m really not in the mood for that." She groaned and pushed her face into her pillow, a small noise of frustration leaving her lips.

Amy opened her mouth to say something but abruptly backtracked, her mouth hung open for a second before she closed it. Maybe it was just a thought, maybe it was her mother instinct but she felt like something wasn’t quite right. "Are you— Do you feel like you can’t get enough sleep and are meant to hibernate right now?"

River snorted, "How do you _know_?" She said, lingering on the words with a small chuckle. She sighed and played with the hem of her pillow absentmindedly.

Amy squinted her eyes, thinking. She pressed her lips together, there was one particular thought swirling in her head and she couldn’t be quite sure of it, only an intuition for the moment. She could only keep her suspicion to herself for the moment.

"Are you— are you feeling a bit… nauseous?" The words were out of her mouth before she could even think about them.

River looked up at her with a small frown, "Yeah…" She lingered on the word for a second. "A bit. How can you tell?" 

Amy shook her head slightly, "I can’t, but…" She paused and pressed her lips together, propping herself on her elbow. "Since when?"

River shrugged, "Don’t know." She pulled a face, trying to remember back to when it dated. "On and off, maybe for the past few days. Nothing bad, really, but…" She shrugged once again, trailing off. "It’s annoying, you know." She brought her legs to her chest and sighed, closing her eyes and nuzzling her cheek to her pillow.

Amy opened her mouth, in search for words. "River…" She said in a whisper and the latter opened her eyes. "I— I…" Amy cleared her throat and sat up in bed. "I’d like you to use something." She stated and River managed to raise an eyebrow with her face into her pillow.

"What, like meds?" 

Amy pulled a face, "Yeah… Something like that, yes." 

She got out of the bed and stood up, walking to River’s side and encouraging her to do the same. River grudgingly turned to her back and passed a hand over her face as she groaned. 

"Come on," Her mother beckoned and River removed the duvet from her body and sat up on the edge of the bed, she groaned once again and kneaded at her temple. Standing up, she took her cardigan laying on the chair and put it on. "Follow me." Amy said and opened the door, walking down the corridor and to the bathroom.

Amy opened the door of the bathroom and River walked behind her grumpily. She plopped down on the toilet lid and placed her face in her hand. Beginning to rummage inside the cupboards, Amy searched for the thing she’s stored in here a long time ago, just in case. She never thought about throwing it away, the thought still a bit too difficult for her.

But if it could at least help someone else, her daughter. _Oh shit_ , she was actually going to ask her daughter to do that. 

A small exclamation of glee escaped her lips when she found the little box hidden behind boxes of medicines and other strange things she couldn’t even begin to remember what it contained. 

She turned to River, the small box in hand, and bit her lower lip in apprehension. "Alright, just…" She trailed off and River looked up at her, a look of expectation in her eyes, she saw for the first time the dark circles under her daughter’s eyes. Amy pulled a face, trying to phrase her sentence the right way. This was a bit of a blunt move out of her, but it was for the better. "Don’t— don’t freak out about this… It doesn’t mean anything."

River frowned up at her and Amy handed her the small box, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

Taking the box in hands, River frowned at the foreign contraption and turned it around to find the right side of it, a crease forming on her forehead. 

Suddenly, she froze. Amy saw her daughter’s eyes shoot up to hers, wide and suddenly awake. "What…" She breathed out, her voice all of sudden lost. She quickly looked back down at the box in her hands and Amy saw her re-read the text on the box. River opened her mouth and it quavered for a second, a whisper escaped her mouth. "…What?" She glanced up at her mother before quickly looking back down at the box, as if she would forget about it. "Mum," She whispered, her voice stuck in her throat, "It’s a— It’s a pregnancy test…"

"Because you could be." Amy replied.

River stayed struck. Her mouth opened and closed several times and Amy knew she had a lot to say about this but couldn’t begin to get around the idea of this _possibility_. Her eyes roamed the room, not looking at anything but deep inside of her. "I—" A hiccup escaped her lips and a hand flew to her mouth. Her hand trembled and Amy saw her daughter’s eyes prickling with tears, she exhaled a shaky breath and bit her fingernails.

Amy approached her and dropped to her knees in front of her. She removed the hand from her mouth and cupped her cheek with a hand. River’s chin quivered but Amy stroked a thumb down her jaw. "River, it’s okay. Please, calm down sweetheart." She brushed curls out of her face and River took a large gulp of air. "I’ve been through this and… and your symptoms look quite similar to the ones I had. I’m not saying you are… but you _could_ be. Either way, it’s _fine_."

River opened her mouth to reply but no sound came out.

"Please…" Amy breathed out and placed her hand on River’s knee in reassurance.

River’s eyes drifted ahead of her into void and she didn’t say anything for a whole minute, her mouth moving slightly with incoherent sounds. Amy knew what her daughter was going through, the sudden knowledge of a possibility that had never crossed her mind before, laying before her eyes inside a daunting and quite worn box.

But then, River exhaled a long shaky breath and nodded slowly. "I’ll do it." She whispered and pressed her lips together before sighing deeply. She nodded again and looked down at her mother. "I’ll do it."

Amy smiled and squeezed her knee. She stood up from the floor and River gaze followed her. "I’ll be waiting by the door when you’re finished." River nodded slowly and dropped her gaze to the small box still in her hand. Seeing her daughter’s insecurity, Amy bent down and placed a kiss on the crown of her head, she saw River give her a tentative smile, her gaze still downwards.

Amy quietly walked herself out of the door, closing it slowly behind her. She positioned herself in the corridor and waited. Realisation slowly dawned upon her that River _could_ be pregnant, it was a possibility, or a least now the idea had been established. The idea was pleasant to think of.

Amy knew that she couldn’t have any more babies, and she made peace with the notion. But she had never thought of… of _grandchildren_. The notion was quite strange at this moment and quite ageing her, _frankly_ ageing her. But thinking about it, she’d quite like that. Yes, she thought she would adore that.

But she didn’t know how River would feel about that—

Amy was taken out of her thoughts by the door of the bathroom opening, River at the threshold, holding out the test to her. "I don’t want to be the one to see the results."

Nodding, Amy took the test and River retreated into the bathroom, sitting back on the toilet lid, a downcast expression on her traits. Amy could only follow her inside. She closed the door and locked it behind her. Now the better thing to do was to wait and see, whatever response might appear. 

She walked to where Rive was and sat on the floor at her feet, the test close to her.

"How long does it take?" River spoke up and Amy looked up in surprise at the sound her voice.

"About fifteen minutes." She responded and River groaned, placing her face in her hands, elbows on her knees. She had no expression on her face but Amy knew her mind was fussing with thoughts. River was strong but Amy knew her very well, and at this moment she realised this blank face was the result of a long process of thoughts. 

A silence fell between the two, Amy dared speak. She didn’t know what to say anyway. Her daughter that was usually so easy to decipher was now a blank canvas to her, she didn’t know what was going on in her head. But then, she remembered the position she was in when she took her first pregnancy test, the minutes of wait were the worst.

"Why did you make me do this test?" Amy took a second to realise River had spoken up. 

She looked up at her to see River looking at the wall opposite her, her eyes prickling with tears. Her barriers, she knew, were starting to break. River took a large gulp of air and straightened on her seat. She exhaled a shaky breath and closed her eyes for an instant.

"I—" River cleared her throat and her chin quivered, "I can’t get pregnant."

Seeing the devastated look on her daughter’s face, Amy began to shake her head vividly, "Of course you can, where did you get that idea? We made sure _everything_ was alright with you when we discovered I couldn’t be pregnant anymore because of— because of _you know who_."

River began to shake her head and she pressed her lips tight to stop the trembling of her chin, "With the Doctor!" She stated. "I can’t get pregnant _with the Doctor_."

Amy was taken aback by River’s exclamation, "What do you mean?"

Brushing her hair away from her face with the back of her hand, River sighed and Amy saw tears well up in her eyes. "We’re just not… _compatible_." She said in a feeble voice.

"You can’t know that!" Amy responded, trying to reassure her the best she could. "You’ve never tried before. You can’t state it as a dead end when you’ve _never tried before_."

River shook her head and a sole tear fell on her cheek, "We don’t need to try for a hopeless thing when we know we can’t! _Listen_ , I’ve been with the Doctor for nearly five years, I’ve been having _sex_ with him for the same amount of time. And we’ve been less than careful on _protection_ , because we just know we _can’t_." A hiccup escaped her and she sniffled. "We never talked about the possibility of children because there is _none_ , and we know that. And that’s exactly _why_ we don’t talk about it!"

River brushed her tears with the sleeve of her cardigan and hiccuped through sobs. Amy stood silent at her feet, she wanted to comfort her, to reassure her but the truth River spoke was too close to her heart. She felt her own tears rising in her eyes. 

Sniffling, River took a deep breath, "And you know what the worst is? I’ve always wanted children! And I know what everyone would think, that I’m a trained assassin, that I was trained to be bare of any emotion, of any _feeling_ , that I can’t _feel_ for something or someone. But—" A sob cut her in her speech and she took a large gulp of air. "But I’ve always wanted this, _children_. And the only person I want this with, _I can’t_!"

River exhaled a long breath, she trembled all over and Amy placed a loving hand on her knee. She knew much too well what her daughter was going through, and she knew the worst was in the mind.

"Please," River said with a trembling voice, "Don’t give me the result, this is giving me hope when I know there isn’t any." She inhaled a long breath and hiccuped, brushing the fallen tears on her cheeks. "I know it’s going to be negative and I can’t— I can’t handle the fact tha— that we— we would never have that." She finished in a small voice, biting her lower lip until Amy feared she would draw blood.

She was beginning to wonder if this test had been a good idea. Maybe River was simply sick and she had put her in a position much worse than before. A negative answer, she knew, would break River.

"It’s merely a remembrance that we can’t…" River trailed off in a faint voice. She breathed out and sniffled, "Throw the damn thing in the bin before the result shows. I can’t bear the truth…"

Amy pondered the thought for an instant, maybe it was the better thing to do after all. She hesitated and bit her lip, what was the best thing to do?

Looking down at the incriminated objet to give her the response to her question, she froze and her head snapped back up, "River, it’s positive…"

River froze too and looked up at her, tear tracks on her cheeks and eyes red-rimmed. "What?"

Amy abruptly stood on her knees and leaned into her, placing the test in front of her eyes, "River, the result is positive. Two lines, it means positive!" 

He eyes went wide and she opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but the words were stuck in her throat. She began to stammer on syllables but couldn’t form coherent words. Amy saw her chin beginning to tremble as she took a shaky breath. She was in shock.

Taking her face in her hands, Amy made her daughter look down at her and River’s eyes drifted to her. "River, Melody, it means you’re _pregnant_. You are!" She stroked her thumbs across her daughter’s cheeks and a sob escaped River’s lips. She kept her wide eyes on her and Amy could see the mix of every emotion possible. There was happiness, but there was also incomprehension and fear. River was lost in a swirl of thoughts and feelings. "Sweetheart, it’s _possible_! You’re going to have a baby!"

Amy saw River’s lips twitch into a smile before letting out a faint breath which transformed into a bubbly whimper. Amy smiled brightly, her face inches away from her daughter’s. She had tears of her own threatening to fall from her eyes. Brushing River’s curls out of her eyes, she engulfed her in a tight hug and began to stroke her back.

She felt River’s body trembling with sobs and stroked her hair, whispered sweet nothings to her ear. 

After a moment, River pulled away from the embrace and brushed the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, still hiccuping through tiny whimpers. "I—" She sniffled and cleared her throat. "I don’t know— how?" She asked, the question hanging in the air. "It’s not— It’s… I can’t…"

River trailed off, uncertain, but Amy shook her head with a beaming smile, "But you _can_."

Shaking her head slightly, River furrowed her brows, "But… Maybe, it’s— I… Maybe it’s wrong…" She breathed out, her tone questioning. "Maybe, it didn’t… work well. Because I— can’t… I need to- to scan, yes, I—" She took a deep breath and exhaled shakily through the mouth. "I need to scan myself, to- to be sure. I—"

Suddenly, she stood up and swayed a bit on her feet, her hand flying to her head with a groan. Amy was quick to hold her by the shoulders and put her back down on her seat. "Careful there," She said softly. "There’s no need to rush." She let go of her and walked to the sink to wet the side of a small tower. When she came back to River’s side, she knelt before her and took her face in her hand to remove the tears from her face. "Breath," She said and River did so, her voice shaky. A small chuckle escaped Amy’s lips, "Have you seen your face? The Doctor’s downstairs, and if he sees you like that he’ll freak out. And he’ll think it’s my fault." She rolled her eyes with a grin, "Which is, mainly, but eh."

River managed a soft smile of her own but it slowly dropped to a frown, she began to wring her hands together. "What if— what if he doesn’t want that?" She asked, her voice small and unsure.

Amy furrowed her brows and tilted her daughter's chin to her, their eyes meeting. She saw an ounce of fear in them, mixed with insecurity. "Of course, he does." She spoke up and a crease formed into River’s brows. Amy gave her a soft smile, full of comfort. "Have you actually looked at the man?" She chuckled and saw River’s lips twitching into a smile. "He loves you and he loves children, you’ve seen how he interacts with them, how he’d do anything to protect them. The combination of you and a child is obviously something he’d want."

River’s lower lip jutted out as she frowned, "But that’s not the same. That’s a child and responsibilities, and— and it’s _him_." She dropped her eyes to her lap but Amy lifted her chin back up. River looked at her reluctantly.

Amy gave her a confident smile, "And I think you should trust him on that. And trust yourself too."

River fell silent and gulped, nodding slightly before looking down. She exhaled a long breath. Amy stood up and placed the wet towel close to the sink. Coming back to River’s side, she took her hands in hers and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, then. You look presentable enough to go downstairs." She chuckled and River snorted. 

Amy unlocked the door and went out of the bathroom, River close behind her. They went down the stairs to reach the TARDIS that was in the backyard. Amy glanced behind her when they arrived at the bottom of the stairs and her daughter gave her a tentative smile, looking up from her feet.

She knew River was feeling uneasy at that instant. It was understandable.

In the kitchen, they found the Doctor seated at the same chair he has been when she left him earlier. Amy was pleased to see he’d folded all the clothes of the basket and had now returned to play with his toy, his screwdriver nearby. 

He looked up from his contraption when he saw them enter the room, his smile was directed to River and she gave him a tentative one in return. He stood up, the chair rattling behind him, and Amy saw River freeze slightly as he approached her. 

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked, worry in his voice and she nodded, quickly rising on her tiptoes to peck his lips, not lingering longer on the small act of affection. 

She opened her mouth but the words were slow to arrive. "It’s just—" She paused, wetting her lips. Her eyes drifted to his face quickly but she dropped them back to the floor. "I— I might…" She glanced at his face for a second too long and a small crease appeared between the Doctor’s brows. "I—…" At last, she sighed and shook her head slightly, a flicker of a smile crossing her features. "I’m fine, really. It’s nothing, it _was_ nothing."

She offered him a smile and the Doctor nodded slowly, his eyes drifting to Amy for a second too long. She knew he just understood something was not quite right. But she smiled at him nonetheless, only able to keep her mouth shut. 

"I just," River spoke up and the Doctor looked back at her, her words died in her mouth. She cleared her throat, "I just need to… to fetch something in the TARDIS."

"Oh," The Doctor nodded, a small smile crossing his face. "I could fetch it for you if you want." He rolled his eyes to himself, "I’m quite bored in here. Tell me what it is."

"No," River said, a little bit too loud and quick. "I—" She sighed and pursed her lips into a smile, "Don’t worry, it’s nothing, really. I can… It’s _nothing_." She trailed off, throwing him a smile and pulling away from him. "I’ll manage."

The Doctor let her go as she began to walk in the direction of the backyard, the door closing behind her silently. He threw a look at Amy, one that meant he wanted some kind of answers from her part. But she could give none, it was River’s decision.

She needed to be the one telling, when she would be ready. Amy was sure it would not take a lot of time, but for the moment the Doctor had to understand without really understand what was at this about.

She gave him a tight-lipped smile and he sighed, dropping back on his chair and placing his face in his hand. 

He looked up at her after a second and she pursed her lips into a smile of compassion. "She’s alright." This was the only thing she could give him as an answer, he simply needed to brace himself for what was to come. And Amy knew River would tell him in time. She nodded to herself and repeated hr words, "She’s _alright_."

Or she was going to be. 

Soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought if this chapter!! I so want to hear your thoughts on it!!
> 
> Chapter title by Apparat with 'Ash/Black Veil'.


	3. Be Brave, I'm Coming to Hold You Now

River walked out of the TARDIS, closing the door silently behind her before making her way to the house. The sun shone brightly above her head but she tugged her cardigan closer to her bones anyway. 

Millions of thoughts were swirling inside of her head, the one coming back the most was: she was pregnant. Truly and properly, she was actually pregnant. There was no mistake, it was a fact. And another fact was that she was scared to death. 

She woke up this morning without any thought about pregnancy and with a true knowledge that she _couldn’t_ get pregnant. And here she was, only a few hours later, with the confirmation that she was indeed pregnant. 

This was madness. This was _utter_ madness.

She opened the backdoor to enter the kitchen, swallowing the lump in her throat. The Doctor and Amy were still seated around the table and her mother swiftly looked up at her when she heard her come in. Amy had a question in her eyes, she knew what the question was.

She pursed her lips into a smile as a response and Amy beamed. Her mother was obviously happy for her, she was too, but it wasn’t the only thing she was feeling right now. She was… overwhelmed, and lost. She needed to think, she needed to get around the idea.

Approaching the table, she felt the eyes of the Doctor on her and suddenly felt like a shy little child. Unable to voice what she should have been able to tell him right away, she gave him a small smile and knew he could see right through her. That was a particularity of them, and in those moments it wasn’t the best of things. 

"I—" She began but stopped right away, clearing her throat and squirming on her two feet. The Doctor gave her a questioning look that she couldn’t avoid. "I…" She pointed her finger vaguely to the corridor. "If you don’t mind, I’ll go back upstairs."

The expression on the Doctor’s face changed for a second but he recovered quickly, nodding with a hum. But she saw his expression, the one similar to a sigh, the one that was somewhat disappointed because he knew she was hiding something from him.

And she _was_. But she couldn’t tell him right away. She needed to get around the idea herself beforehand. 

Leaving the kitchen, she caught the look her mother threw her way, expectant and questioning. And she felt like a disappointment, because why was it so hard? Why couldn’t she get the words out of her mouth? It was two words, easy enough.

But the meaning behind them was complex and overwhelming. She needed her _own_ time. She needed her own pace. And she needed to think.

Making her way upstairs, she leaned on the banister as the thoughts were too much for her. She was tired mentally and physically, and she needed things to go at her own rhythm. 

Entering her bedroom, she closed the door quietly behind her and walked to her bed, flopping down onto it with a sigh. She brought her legs to her chest and tugged her pillow closer. Her hearts were still pounding her chest, they hadn’t stopped doing so since she first heard the news. 

She was pregnant. It seemed surreal, almost unimaginable. But she _was_. And she would need to get accustomed to the idea. The scan had cleared her thoughts, it wasn’t a mistake, she was indeed very well pregnant. Five weeks along.

Five weeks… 

She’s been pregnant for five weeks.

Slowly, she removed her hand from under her cheek and placed it on her lower abdomen, where she knew the baby would be. _Baby_ , the word seemed so foreign to her, so strange on the tip of her tongue. The whole thought was dazzling, and almost as if she wasn’t the one currently bearing a five weeks old embryo. 

_Oh God, there is a living creature inside of me!_ River cried out in her head, stroking her abdomen slightly. There wasn’t even a bump yet, no wonder she never thought about this possibility before. 

She exhaled a breath and closed her eyes. This felt so strange, it was overwhelming. This news had been so sudden and so _unexpected_. She’s always thought she would never have the possibility to fall pregnant, with the Doctor. And she actually made peace with this idea, it was hard but it couldn’t be any other way. So, she made peace with it.

But now… Now she _was_ pregnant, and by _accident_! And it was all so surreal. She couldn’t believe it. 

The idea was only starting to get into her head, and with it came all the feelings. She was of course very happy but the emotion was drowned by the ones of fear and loss. The ones that stop your breath and cling at your throat. She was afraid, of what she didn’t know, but the idea scared her. And she felt at a loss, her whole perception of herself and the future had been altered and she didn’t know what to do with it.

It was exhilarating and scary at the same time. 

She was broken out of her thoughts when she heard the door opening quietly. Hastily removing the hand from her stomach, she placed it underneath her cheek and turned her head slightly to see the Doctor closing the door behind him. 

Approaching her, he flopped down on the bed by her side and scooted closer to be at eye level. He gave her a lopsided smile and brushed a curl away from her eyes. She couldn’t help but smile back tentatively. 

The Doctor pursed his lips and placed his hands beneath his cheek, observing her through his fringe. She felt a bit awkward being scrutinised. Fortunately, her _condition_ couldn’t be discovered by a look of the eyes. Or could it? She wasn’t quite sure. 

"Please," He whispered and trailed a finger down her cheekbone, "Tell me what’s wrong."

Of course he would know something wasn’t quite right. She wouldn’t have been able to fool him on that. But she shook her head slightly with a faint smile at the corner of her lips. "Nothing is wrong."

The Doctor pursed his lips and she saw the tiniest of eye roll. He knew she was playing a game, but what game, he didn’t know yet. "Alright," He emphasised the word and it brought a soft smile on her lips. "What isn’t quite right, then?"

She pressed her lips together and dropped her gaze to his chest, not able to meet his eyes. Her hearts were starting to pound again in her ribcage, and it was really unconscious but she was scared. Of what, she didn’t know. But there was something, something bugging her. 

And at the same time… she needed to tell him. She couldn’t leave him out of the news, he was the only one she _ought_ to tell.

"I…" Her voice wobbled and she quickly shut her mouth, clearing her throat. The Doctor looked at her expectantly, with an encouraging smile. But she couldn’t, the words were stuck in her throat. She could feel her hearts beating like madness and wondered if the Doctor could see it. Surely he could, she felt as if they were going to explode. "I…" Her chin wobbled as she stammered on the word. 

She wondered if counting to three could help. Maybe? She didn’t know. It wasn’t count to three and blurt the news out.

"Doctor, I—" She stopped, and looked up into his eyes. He smiled tenderly at her. "I— I’m…" He indulged her to talk with his eyes but she found the words unable to come out. "I’m…" She felt sudden tears rise into her eyes and quickly blinked at them. She opened her mouth and stayed with it hanging for a second before deflating and closing it. She sighed and gave him a tight smile, "I’m _fine_."

Tears began to prickle at the corner of her eyes and she closed them shut. Scooting closer to him, she placed an arm around his waist and hid her face in the crook of his neck, tightening her grip on his shirt.

She felt him tug her closer with an arm around her waist, stroking her back and placing a small kiss on the crown of her head. 

She sighed against his shirt, closing her eyes tightly as she felt tears escaping them. She wasn’t strong enough, it was too hard for her, she was too scared and _afraid_. She was properly afraid, and she didn’t even know what about. And that was why she was afraid, it was the unknown in front of her and it scared her.

The Doctor tightened his grip on her hip and she knew he understood. Even if he didn’t understand properly, he understood her. And that was what mattered for the moment.

—

River absentmindedly opened the door of the bathroom and startled at the sight of her mother standing at the threshold in the corridor. She squinted her eyes at her for her startling appearance and Amy threw her a questioning look. 

With a frown, she closed the door behind her and put some distance between the two, rounding her mother figure to make her way back to her room.

"How are you feeling?" Her mother spoke up as she passed by her and River shrugged with a non-committal hum. Suddenly, she felt Amy’s hand closing on her wrist as she tugged her back to her. River’s eyes flew to her mother, Amy gave her a pointed look. She brought her closer to whisper something in her ear, "Have you told him yet?"

River squinted her eyes but said nothing for an instant. She couldn’t decipher if it was a genuine question or a threat. Going by her mother’s tone of disappointment, she thought rather of the latter. She gulped, "I haven’t."

"Why?" Amy exclaimed in as much a whisper she could manage. "It’s been two days! I can’t keep my mouth shut to Rory for long, he already knows something is up!" River began to shake her head, she was very against the idea forming in her mother’s head, _very_ against. "If you’re not ready to tell the Doctor, at least tell your dad. He’s a nurse, he’ll know soon enough."

"No," River shook her head vehemently, "I want the Doctor to be the first to know. That’s… It has to be him, I can’t _not_ tell him first." She paused and her mother opened her mouth to talk but she cut her, "I haven’t found the right time yet." She sighed and looked down at her bare feet, "Every time I want to I just… the words get stuck."

"But why?" 

River looked up at Amy and pressed her lips together. "I don’t know." She saw deception in her mother’s eyes and pursed her lips, removing he wrist from Amy’s grip. She began to make her way back to her bedroom but her mother stopped her with her words.

"You can’t just say _I don’t know_!" She exclaimed and River stopped in her tracks, turning around to face her with squinted eyes to stop the pricking of tears. "There must be a reason behind it. Tell me what it is. Tell me _why_. What’s wrong?"

River tightened her fists and pressed her lips together, "I. Don’t. Know." She cried out, trying as best to keep her voice down. She walked the few steps back to her mother as anger began to irrigate her brain. Those _fucking_ mood swings! "Why do I have to be conscious of my every thought?" She lashed out and felt the tears pool at her eyes. "Why can’t _I_ just ignore the reasons and try to make light of them myself? It’s already complicated enough for _me_." She emphasised on the word, sniffling and brushing the fallen tear with the back of her hand.

Amy’s face softened and she stepped closer to her daughter but River took a protective step back. 

She looked around her for an instant, lost in her thoughts. Placing her arms around herself, she rocked on her feel slightly. "Maybe I’m scared." She blurted out and sniffled, throwing a glance at her mother.

"Of what?"

" _It_!" She exclaimed and waved her hands around her. "This! All of this!" She waved to herself and at her body. "It scares me." She whispered with a sniffle. "Maybe, I’m not ready." She said in a whisper but her voice broke, "Maybe, I’m not ready _for this_ , all of this."

Suddenly, her mother engulfed her in her arms and River got her breath knocked away. She let out a small whimper and rounded her arms around her mother’s frame. Amy began to stroke her hair, shushing her and encouraging her to take deep breath. "River, sweetheart, nobody is ever ready for it." She whispered in the crook of her daughter’s neck. "It’s not about that. It’s about wanting it, and I know you do." She paused, River sniffled and lay her head on her shoulder. "Can’t hide the truth, it’s going to be difficult, and it’s going to be stressful. But it’s worth it, and that’s the only thing that it should be."

Amy pulled away slightly and brushed the tears on her daughter’s cheeks. River nodded slightly but still held to her mother’s side. 

Amy dropped a kiss on her cheek, "It’s going to be fine sweetheart. No matter what, you have us, and the Doctor. And I know it’s enough, because we’re here."

River nodded once again and engulfed her back in the hug, nuzzling her face in the crook of her neck to hide the tears. 

—

River was beginning to wear a hole in the kitchen parquet as she paced the floor nervously, why was this so _complicated_? She couldn’t stop wringing her hands together, making them sweaty and a thin film of sweat covered her brows.

Stopping at the countertop, she leaned into it and braced her hands on either side of it. Exhaling a long breath, she brushed the sweat out of her brows and dropped her chin to her chest.

She was too hot, and nervous, and sweaty, and tired. And so full of emotion she could start crying any time now. All sorts of thoughts were swirling inside her head, and they couldn’t get _away_.

She had to tell him. She couldn’t postpone it anymore. She had to _tell him_ , and right now. She didn’t want to be alone in the secret anymore. It shouldn’t even be a secret at all, especially not to him. Never to him.

She couldn’t handle the news all to herself, she had to confess to him, to tell him about everything, about her fears and worries. She wanted him to comfort her and help her get through the fear. But in order to do that, she needed to tell him. 

It wasn’t the easiest of things to do.

But _why_?

Why was this _so hard_? For god’s sake! Why was she struggling _so much_?

Sighing deeply, she pushed away from the countertop. Brushing a loose curl behind her ear, she took a deep breath and made a step forward. The lump in her throat stopped her in her tracks and she deflated, exhaling unevenly. Her hearts had began to thump inside her ribcage and she couldn’t help the trembling of her body.

What was she so afraid of?

The thought was terrorising, it stopped her from moving. But she _had_ to tell him. He needed to know and she felt as if she was keeping something from him. No, she wasn’t, she was just… afraid. It scared her. But the worst was, she didn’t even know _what_ scared her.

She couldn’t keep this from him anymore, he had the _right_ to know.

_Alright, River_. She took a deep breath and exhaled by the mouth. _You can do this_. She slowly took a step forward, and another, and another. _Stop thinking, and act_. She entered the corridor, nearly on her tiptoe. She felt as if her hearts were going to burst out of her chest. Each step brought her closer to panic and angst. 

She stopped a meter before the door, still hidden from anyone’s view. She could hear her parents and the Doctor in the living room, they were watching some kind of hilarious reality show. They laughed together and were being very happy and joyful, they were making this very hard on her.

_Alright, just… count to three_. This was a childish thought, but this was at the moment the only thing that would make her move forward. She just had to ask to talk to him, it shouldn’t be that hard. It quite felt like it. 

_Alright_ , she wiped her sweaty hands on her t-shirt. _Stop saying alright_. She chastised herself. _Alright_. She groaned internally and tried to make the void inside of her head. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes for an instant and reopened them more sure of herself. _It’s going to be fine_. _One…_ She exhaled a breath and took a small step forward. _Two…_ She opened her mouth, ready to talk, and placed a foot in front of the other. 

But the three didn’t come, and she stood struck in place.

She deflated and internally groaned. Leaning against the wall, she thumped her forehead lightly against it, chastising herself for doing _nothing_.

_Why is it so hard?_

Suddenly, she pushed away from the wall and let out a breath. _Get your shit together_. _One… Two… Three…_  

She didn’t move. The countdown arrived to three and she didn’t move. She groaned and felt tears rising in her eyes, the feeling of punching something suddenly _very_ present.

She couldn’t do this. She really couldn’t. 

Whining internally, she walked back to the kitchen, furious against herself. Stopping in the middle of it, she felt the sensation of defeat enveloping her. She couldn’t even tell her husband that she was pregnant. With his child, obviously. Why would this be so hard to tell?

She didn’t have to count to _fucking_ three to ask for a _talk_ with her husband. She was a child and she was acting like one.

"Get yourself together." She mumbled under her breath and turned around in the direction of the corridor. _It’s just him_.

Taking a deep breath, she walked to the corridor. She was practically angry with herself and walked with a determined pace. Nothing could stop her, she simply had to stop thinking about everything. 

Stopping at the door, she couldn’t even hear the pounding of her hearts underneath the ringing of her ears. She face was certainly flushed but she didn’t care. 

"Doctor," She announced and three pairs of eyes turned to her. _Oh shit_. "Can I talk to you?" Her tone was harsher than she intended it to be and given by the Doctor’s eyes going wide, it wasn’t the tone she had planned for this.

"Yes!" He said in a high-pitched tone, "Yes, yes of course, I—" He straightened on the couch and opened his mouth so as to say something, but nothing came out. "I… Yes." He stood up and wiped his hands on his trousers nervously. 

River caught him glancing down at her parents, and was that a cry for help? _Oh God_.  "Alright, okay." She trailed off in a faint voice, pushing away from the door and making her way to the backdoor. They would definitely be better outside, where it was less hot and oppressive. 

She could hear the Doctor following her, and he was anxious. Of course he was anxious, her anxiousness was wearing off on everyone! _Alright, deep breath_. She exhaled deeply and smothered her sweaty hands on her t-shirt. Her hearts hadn’t stopped beating like madness, she wondered when they would, if they ever would. 

Opening the backdoor, she let him walk out first and caught his quick look in her direction. She gave him a tight-lipped smile and a crease formed between his brows. He stopped in the middle of the backyard and turned to her, worry apparent on his face. 

Slowly walking to him, she stopped a feet away and could practically feel the warmth emanating from his body. This was much harder that she thought, and she already thought it was hard. She dropped her eyes to the grass and played with the hem of her short. 

Her mouth opened slightly, intending to say something. Her chin wobbled and she hastily closed her mouth, jaw clenched. She glanced back up at him and saw him looking at her with big eyes, big _anxious_ eyes. 

She tried a smile but couldn’t manage much, so she looked back down.

"River…" The Doctor spoke up and it was like a prayer in his mouth. She felt him walk infinitely closer to her and peeked a quick glance his way. He took her face in his hands, their body practically touching, and she felt tears rising up her eyes. "What’s wrong, honey? You haven’t been looking yourself for the past few days. I— I worry about you."

River shook her head slightly, "No— nothing." She paused to swallow the lump in her throat. "Nothing is wrong."

"Then, what?" He pressed her, stroking her cheeks absentmindedly. "What is it?"

"I—" River stumbled on words and preferred to close her mouth. She could only press her lips together as millions of thoughts interrupted her clear process of thinking straight. She didn’t know how to say it, and what to say, other than the obvious. 

She was trying, she really was! But she couldn’t, the words were stuck.

Deflating, she dropped her eyes to the grass and took a shaky breath. "I just… I—" She paused and her chin wobbled. The Doctor tugged her face in his direction and she could only look up at him. She bit her lower lip, unable to stop the pricking of her eyes. "I just need you…" She trailed off, and it was true. It was what she needed most. 

"Riv…" The Doctor breathed out and engulfed her in his arms. The sudden move knocked the breath out of her lungs and she let out a small whimper, hiding her face against his chest. He stroked a hand down and back in comfort, "I’m here River, I’m always here for you. But you have to tell me what it is… I want to help you with this thing that’s bothering you."

"It’s not bothering, it’s…" She trailed off, her voice muffled by his shirt. "It’s just…" She didn’t have the strength to finish this sentence, so she didn’t. Tightening her grip on his shirt, she pressed her face into the crook of his shoulder and exhaled a long breath.

After an instant, the Doctor pulled slightly away from her and she tightened her grip on him, fearing he was leaving her. He placed a tiny kiss on the crown of her head and brushed the curls before her eyes. "Alright then," He began and detached himself from her, trailing his hands down her her arms and to her owns, squeezing them tight. 

She gazed at him without a word as he walked away from her, observing the grass before his feet. After an alarmingly long second, he looked up at her with a grin and flopped down on the grass. She frowned.

"Come on, lay with me." He spoke up and lay down, looking up at her with squinted eyes because of the sun above his head. He patted the space beside him, beckoning her closer. "It’s sunny and warm, and the view from down there is wonderful."

His grin made her lips twitch in a flicker of a smile and she considered the thought. Gulping down the lump in her throat, she walked to him gingerly. He offered her a smile and she sat down in return, moving to a laying position by his side, their hands nearly touching. 

She gazed up at the blue sky. White clouds passed over their heads and their shapes were stupid. She wondered what people could see in clouds, it was only an optical illusion. 

She could feel the Doctor’s eyes on her but didn’t dare meet them. Why was it so hard to tell him? She would rather be scared with him that scared all alone. That’s what she had always wanted in life. If she was with him, everything could happen to her she would still be fine because she was with him.

So, why was _this_ hard? Why this of all things?

There was nothing to be scared of. Of course, the idea in general was scary and she was afraid to death, but there was nothing to be scared of _about telling him_. 

Or maybe, it was what scared her, telling him. Maybe, he wouldn’t want that. That would only burden him and weight him down to Earth, and to her. Maybe that was the real issue there. She was scared of his response.

But she needed to reason with herself. He wanted that, she knew he did. But her insecurities were resurfacing, she couldn’t help them. So, she needed to know. She needed to tell him.

Slowly, her hand found his. She wove their fingers together and he squeezed her hand in return. He had turned his face back to the sky, his eyes closed and a faint smile at the corner of his lips. He was allowing her to think properly. 

There was no more thinking to do, she already knew what she had to say. And she had to grow up, and realise, properly. What was inside of her body was not a threat to anyone, even less to her. It was all that she has ever wanted in life, and it was there. And she had to realise that, quickly. Because she wanted to enjoy this time, and she wanted to enjoy it with her husband.

That was the only thing that mattered, her and the Doctor and this _baby_.

The wind blew gently through the trees next to them, and the birds sang in unison. And the sky was beautiful, and the sun shone bright. And the Doctor rested silently by her side, his hand in her own and a smile on his face. And there could be no better sight.

Her mind was blank now, voided of any thought. She didn’t need those thoughts anymore.

"I’m pregnant." Her voice made the word sound like a question, but it wasn’t. It was clear and true. 

She turned her eyes to the Doctor, her hearts pounding in her chest. His eyes popped open the second the words left her mouth. He slowly turned his face to her, almost stunned and she realised a tears was slowly trickling down her eyes and disappearing at her temple. 

His eyes were wide but she couldn’t decipher the expression on his face. With a blank face, he propped himself on his elbow and gazed down at her, a crease between his brows. His mouth moved for a few second without any actual sound leaving it. He stammered, "Wh- what?"

"I…" She sniffled and bit her lower lip, looking at him through wet eyelashes. "I’m pregnant."

Suddenly, the Doctor let out a breath that looked like a chuckle. She saw his face brighten and felt a new wave of tears rising up her eyes. But then, he exhaled a breath and he was suddenly very pale, her faint smile froze into a frown.

"Oh," He breathed out and his mouth open and closed for a few seconds. He plopped back down on the grass and placed a hand on his forehead to block out the sun. "I’m not feeling very fine." His voice was almost a groan and River’s eyes widen.

She suddenly sat up on her knees and gazed down at him with tears pricking at her eyes. "What… what do you mean?" She stammered on the words and felt the abrupt feeling of dread. 

"I need to lay down." He whispered and brushed at his fringe nervously.

River opened her mouth several times, not quite understanding what was going on. "You’re already laying on the grass, Doctor."

"Oh…" He trailed off and looked around him with a dazzled expression, "Oh, great. It’s… It’s great then."

River fell silent. This wasn’t the reaction she had imagined. She wasn’t even sure what sort of reaction this was. She didn’t know how to feel about it.

She was broken out of her thoughts when the Doctor began to chuckle beneath her. She looked down and saw him with still his hand over his face, his eyes hidden from her. He let out a laugh and bit his lower lip. "Oh… Wow… I—" Removing the hand from his eyes, he looked up at her and she could see what looked like a smile on his face. "I— Uhm… Really?" He asked on a high pitched tone.

She nodded faintly and his eyes widened, a broad smile appearing on his face. At his expression, she let out a whimper of happiness and felt butterflies inside her chest.

All of a sudden, he scrambled up to his feet and walked a few feet away before coming back equally rapidly with both hands covering his mouth. A small laugh escaped his lips and he removed his hands, his face brightening with a open mouth smile. "I— River!"

He abruptly walked up to her and lifted her from the ground with more strength she thought he could have. She shrieked at the sudden movement, her head spinning for a second but he steadied her with his hands on her shoulders.

He placed his hands on her cheeks and trailed them to her shoulders before placing them back on either side of her face. He let out a small chuckle and his gaze dropped back to her body for a second before coming back to her face. "You’re properly— That’s… You’re—"

"Yes," She cut him with a wobbly voice, while nodding with an equal smile as him. His mouth unexpectedly crashed upon hers and she startled with a small squeal but was very quick to get back to her senses. 

The Doctor’s kiss was hard against her mouth and she felt tears rising up, but she didn’t care, they were happy tears this time.

When he pulled away, he continued to stroke at her cheeks and his mouth fell open with a million questions on the tip of his tongue. "River, I— You’re _pregnant_! It’s— Wow! Wow…" He breathed out and pressed his lips together to stop the flow of words. She could see his eyes reddening and knew him too much to think in was only the wind. "It’s— River, it’s wonderful."

He began to kiss her mouth and cheek and eyelid, she couldn’t help but let out a small whimper of joy in return. Her hearts were going to burst through her ribcage and the look the Doctor was giving her made her want to cry even more. 

"It’s…" He beamed, "Oh, wow, Riv! We’re having a baby!" He abruptly placed a hand over his mouth, "Oh my god, we’re having a _baby_." He muffled behind his hand. "It’s… a small version of _you_!"

River nodded and tears began to trail down her cheeks, "And you."

"Yes…" He nodded with her and placed his hand back on her cheek. "It’s… surreal. It’s a…" He stammered for a second and she saw questions in his eyes, the same questions she had been asking herself. "But…" He wetted his lips. "But, how? I mean— I know how but… How did we…? I thought we couldn’t…"

River nodded, "I thought that too." She dropped her eyes to her bare feet before looking back up at him with a smile. "Doctor, I scanned myself, and…" A small chuckle escaped her, she still couldn’t believe it herself. "And the— the baby, they’re _ninety-five percent_ Time Lord." The Doctor’s mouth fell agape, it made her continue. "It’s the same thing that happened to my parents. Inside the TARDIS, and through the vortex with the artron energy, and— and us. I— I guess it was also the right time for me." She smiled tenderly, almost shy.

The Doctor nodded. "It’s— It’s a _miracle_." River let out a uneven breath and nodded too. Stroking the tears from her cheeks, the Doctor sighed with a smile and dropped his eyes quickly to her stomach before looking back up with his lip between his teeth. She took pity on him and removed his hand from her cheek to guide it to her abdomen. He placed his hand there, almost nervous to touch her but he looked up and she saw tears in his eyes. "How far along are you?"

"Five weeks." She said and chuckled, "You can’t tell much right now."

"I can." He replied and she raised an eyebrow. "There’s no bump, no, but…" He tilted his head to the side and observed her with the beginning of a grin. "I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t told me but…" She saw a blush rising up his neck and gave him a questioning look with a grin. "I noticed you gained a pound," He whispered quickly and she raised an eyebrow, "Which is totally fine, I mean— I wouldn’t have told you anyway because I don’t really care. I love you either way. It’s…" He shrugged and a snort escaped her. "Also… I noticed… your chest. It’s more… it’s just _more_."

He bit his lips with a mortified expression and River laughed, shaking her head tenderly. She wondered why _she_ didn’t even notice that. Now that she actually looked at it that way, well… yes, indeed. She was fatter and had bigger boobs. _Oh God_ , it was already happening.

"Five weeks," The Doctor whispered to himself before looking up at her. "How long have you known?"

River’s smile slightly faltered at his question. She dropped her head to her chest. "Three days."

Lifting her chin, he caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Why didn’t you tell me earlier?"

River pressed her lips together for a second and blinked back the new wave of tears. "Because I’m afraid…" She breathed out.

"Of what?" He frowned.

"This!" She waved at herself before dropping her hands to her side. "It’s scary, it’s— it’s a person growing inside of me. That’s— that’s scary. And I— I don’t know how to deal with that…"

The Doctor smiled tenderly at her. He tugged her closer and engulfed her in his arms. "But I’m here now." He whispered against her hair and she nodded against his side. She tightened her grip around his waist and breathed in his scent. It calmed her nerves, as it always did. After a second, she heard the Doctor speak up in her ear. "River…" She hummed in response. "We’re having a baby."

She chuckled and pressed her face to his chest, "Yes, we are." The Doctor pulled slightly away to gaze down at her face. She smiled and he placed his forehead against hers. Exhaling a deep breath, she pursed her lips into a teary smile. "I love you." She whispered faintly, but he heard her.

Stroking her head, he placed a kiss on the crown of her head, "I love you too, so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think of this chapter!! 
> 
> Chapter title from Muse with 'Follow Me'.


	4. It's Time to Begin, Isn't It?

The Doctor opened his eyes to the ceiling and pursed his lips into an irritated frown. Faint lights danced over the ceiling as cars passed by in the street, the sound of their motor going and passing. He was beginning to think the small stars created by his subconscious because of his lack of sleep were real. They danced in front of his eyes and created shapes. 

If he focused right enough on them, he could manage to stop thinking for an instant. 

Exhaling a long breath of despair, he closed his eyes back. The stars were still dancing over his closed lids. _Great_. His limbs were fidgety, he was really trying to keep them under control but he had too much energy to let out of his body. 

And, really, he had to stop tossing and turning because he knew that if he woke up River, she would definitely kill him. She wasn’t a morning person, nor a middle of the night person, she didn’t like to be awaken, that was for sure. 

He groaned internally as he was beginning to think of all the times River had been awaken, by him, obviously. None of them were great memories… Apart this time when she was quite pleased to be awaken that wa—

 _Stop thinking!_ He groaned inside his head. Having conversations with himself didn't help much with his sleep. He needed to stop thinking, he wanted to sleep, that was the only thing he was asking for. 

Sighing, he turned his head to River. She had an arm around his waist and held him tight, nearly clinging to him, as if afraid he would leave her. He wasn’t of course, he was very well snuggled in her arms. If only he could go to _sleep_.

Her head was pillowed on his shoulder and she let out little puffs of breath as she slept peacefully. At least, _she_ was able to sleep.

His mind was swirling with millions of thoughts and wasn’t willing to cooperate with him on this decision that he took to _sleep_. He’s tried everything, counting sheep, singing a song (that was now stuck in his head), reciting a play. All of those things were on the contrary making him more awake. 

Letting out a breath, he bit his lower lip. He knew what prevented him to sleep. The fact that River was pregnant. And it was wonderful, he was overjoyed, he was over the moon, he was just… awed. But… 

Did he had the right to freak out?

He didn’t really think he did, at least not out loud and not in front of River. But he was _freaking out_. He really wanted that, it was the most wonderful news he heard in decades. Something of him (hopefully not his chin), and something of her (hopefully her hair, and intelligence, and beauty, and wit…) _Oh dear_ , he really hoped this child would take all from their mother. 

 _Mother_.

Oh gosh, that was weird. 

But pleasant. 

And exhilarating. 

But one thing kept on nagging him… The fact that just— _How did one do that_? How did one take care of a child and… and all the other things, complicated things.

He knew babies, he loved babies. And he already loved this one more that it was possible after not even twenty-four hours of knowing it. Them? He didn’t know! _It_ felt weird. _Them_ felt too abstract. 

He adored babies, but he didn’t know _how_ to do babies. And that was worrying. 

Closing his eyes tightly, he sighed deeply. There was an idea in his head, an idea that had been nagging at him for the whole night. He kept pushing it back, he couldn’t… Well, he could but— _no_! Yes… Maybe… 

If he was very careful, and silent, and not clumsy, and discreet. Then, maybe… No, no, no… He sighed internally, the thought wasn’t going to go away anyway. And he knew that he had the perfect amount of control in his limbs not to disturb River. And then his mind would be put at peace, he guessed… He really needed to sleep, that was the only thing that could give him some rest. 

Stopping thinking for an instant, his mind fell silent as he looked over the way of action. It wasn’t that difficult, he just needed to be quiet, which was fairly easy, he guessed… He bit his lower lip and played with it for a minute… 

_Alright, I’m doing it!_

Slowly, he removed River’s arms from around his chest with as much delicacy he could master and grimaced as she made a small sound that looked like a groan in the back of her throat. 

Laying her hand by her side, he waited for a second before wriggling away from her warm body. Her head fell off his shoulder and onto the pillow and he froze when she hummed and nuzzled her face into the pillow, bringing her hands under her chin. 

Exhaling a breath after a second of silence, he made sure River was still asleep as he sat up and the bed creaked under his weight. She didn’t stir. 

Standing up, he tiptoed to the chair to take his shirt and trousers, folding them in a ball of clothes in his arms and walking gingerly in the direction of the door. He turned the knob slowly and pulled the door to him, slipping past it through the small gap. 

Having closed the door with as much delicacy, he tiptoed through the dark corridor and down the stairs, walking on the slats he knew wouldn’t make a sound. At the foot of the stairs, he searched for his shoes, which were ridiculously difficult to find in the dark and with every other shoes laying around. When he found them, he set himself into a run, a _silent_ run, through the corridor and to the kitchen, where he opened the backdoor slowly, grimacing as it made the slightest of sound. 

Finally out in the fresh air, he ran to the TARDIS and clicked his fingers in order to open the doors. Running quickly inside of it, he closed the door quietly behind him and let out a long sigh, finally out of earshot. 

He dropped his shoes to the floor and slipped on his trousers. "Shush." He spoke up, it was addressed to the TARDIS herself. The TARDIS was humming questioningly underneath his feet and he felt as if also a bit reproachful. "I can’t let anyone know I’m here." He zipped his trousers and put on his shirt, buttoning it clumsily. "They’d probably kill me." He whispered to himself but the TARDIS let out a sort of groan.

Clasping his hands together, he ran to the console and began to input coordinates, pushing buttons and playing with levers. The TARDIS groaned under his bare feet.

"Don’t worry," He said and placed a hand on the console, his way of telling her he was being honest. "It’s fine, everything’s fine. I just need to do something." He pushed the lever that set him off into flight and activated the blue boringers. He wouldn’t betray himself with the TARDIS’ brakes. 

Since the TARDIS wasn’t trembling under his feet anymore, he walked down the stairs and put on his shoes, hopping in place with the clumsy limbs he had. A short bell set off, telling him he had arrived. He opened the doors, the scenery in front of him putting a smile on his face. This was the right place, at last. 

In front of him stood a blue door, accompanied of course with the house that went with it. And other several terraced houses, but he didn’t really care about those houses. Well, he could in the future… maybe… but not right now. Oh no, not right now.

Walking out of the TARDIS, he made his way to the door and knocked against it, three small knocks, just to look like a normal bloke. He waited for someone to answer, with a smile on his face. A minute came by and nothing happened. Frowning, he knocked once again, five knocks this time. After a few seconds, a light turned on above his head at the window and he smiled brightly, rocking on his feet in anticipation. 

It was a minute before someone came to the door, he heard it get unlocked and opened, an imperceptibly grumpy door. At the sight of the person behind the door, he beamed, "Craig!"

"It’s bloody 3am, Doctor!"

At the threshold stood Craig Owens, a bathrobe hastily tied around his waist, his hair in disarray and a look in his eyes that felt like terrible irritation. Or was it annoyance? No, it definitely looked like he was going to murder someone. That wasn’t a very good look on him…

With pursed lips, the Doctor looked down at his wrist but realised his watch was missing, like most of his clothes and brain. No, brain was still there, hopefully… He considered Craig’s judgement and since he was a good friend decided that Craig wasn’t lying. He went with it.

"Yes," He nodded, a goofy grin on his face. "It is indeed three in the morning."

Craig sighed loudly, passing a hand over his face, "What do you want, Doctor?" He scratched the back of his head, an expectant look on his face. "It better be good." He uttered to himself. 

The Doctor sobered up in an instant, clasping his hands together and beginning to wring them. "Craig, I need to talk to you."

"And it’s 3am!" Craig cried out, throwing his hands in the air. He dropped his hands to his side in defeat and pursed his lips into a reproachful frown. "Doctor," He said in a whisper, mindful of the other sleeping inhabitants of the whole street. "It’s _3am_." He emphasised on the time.

The Doctor nodded with a smile forming on his lips. He walked past Craig into the house, leaving the latter dumbstruck in the threshold. "Then that shows that I _really_ want to talk to you, eh!" He looked behind him with a gleam in the eyes and threw a grin at Craig.

Walking into the living room, he plopped down unceremoniously on the couch and let out a breath, dropping his head to the back of it. Craig entered after him, and that was definitely an irritated look on his face, there was no doubts anymore. 

Craig sat in front of him, bringing a chair closer to him. "Please, make this quick." He pleaded before passing a hand through his tousled hair. He sighed mournfully, "I really need my sleep."

The Doctor straightened on the couch while nodding. He opened his mouth to explain himself but a voice interrupted him before he could say a word. 

"What’s going on in here?" The Doctor turned his head in the direction of the voice to see Sophie, leaning against the threshold of the door and looking quite annoyed herself. Why was everyone annoyed right now? He wasn’t annoyed, they didn’t have to be annoyed either. 

Craig shrugged in response, "I’d like to know the answer to that question myself."

"Oh," The Doctor exclaimed, scooting on the edge of the couch in glee, "Is Stormageddon here?" Strangely so, the two people in the room glared at him. 

"No, Doctor, he isn’t." Sophie deadpanned and his lips dropped into a pout. "He’s at his grandparents’ for the weekend and does not wish to be disturbed." She gave him a menacing look and he gave a small shrug of defeat. 

"So, Doctor," Craig spoke up and the Doctor’s gaze fell back on him. "What is so important to talk about not to wait for morning?" The Doctor opened his mouth but Craig cut him, "I really hope this is of the utmost importance. I didn’t wake up for you to ask for the function of anything to be found in a kitchen. I’ll throw you out if it is…"

"No, no…" The Doctor placed his hands before himself in defence. "It’s— I need your… _advice_? Uhm, on… On something. A bit like your…" He made a grimace and Craig arched a brow, "Your experience."

Craig’s brow furrowed suddenly, "You’re asking _me_? Out of anyone in the universe, you’re asking me. I— sorry that’s… unexpected."

"That’s because you know how it…" His mouth wobbled for a second, not sure how to finish that sentence. He opened and closed his mouth several times before sighing and passing a hand through his fringe. 

He pursed his lips into a frown, thinking, and sank into the couch with a forlorn look on his face. Cut out of his thoughts, he made a face as an object was pushing into his back. He retrieved the incriminating object and frowned at its sight. It was a plush, a children one to be precise. He examined it for an instant before looking back at Craig. "How do you do that?"

A frown creased Craig’s brows and he squinted his eyes at the Doctor. "Do… what?"

"This!" The Doctor waved the plush in Craig’s face and the latter’s frown deepened, not understanding very well the conversation the Doctor was intending to make.

"I—" He threw a look at Sophie and she shrugged in return. "I, uhm, I didn’t make it. It’s— I bought it, Doctor. It’s a toy…"

He was cut by the Doctor’s groan, followed by the roll of his eyes. "I know that," He grumbled, "I’m not dumb…" He paused and wetted his lips, pursing his lips for a second. "I mean… _babies_ , how do you make babies?"

There was a silence for a second, Craig opened and closed his mouth several times in a row. He glanced back at Sophie and she gave him a frown. Looking back at the Doctor, he pressed his lips together. "Doctor," He began gingerly, "Don’t you know… _how_?" The Doctor squinted his eyes in response. Was he really supposed to know that kind of stuff? Because, he knew a lot of things but this… It was… not in his range. Seeing the Doctor’s lack of understanding, Craig gulped and continued. "Well, it’s, uhm, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they—"

"Not that!" The Doctor cut him, a blush slowly creeping up his neck. He shook his head and sighed, "What I mean is, how do you… figure out how babies _work_?"

Craig fell silent for what looked like an hour, it was actually a few seconds. The Doctor wrung his hands together, waiting for a response. Was this question so weird out of his mouth? Were they looking down on him because he didn’t know that sort of things? It wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t an expert on everything.

Craig wetted his lips, opening his mouth thoughtfully, "And you’re asking me this because…" He trailed off.

"I’m going to have a baby." The Doctor stated. "Me and River, we’re expecting." A genuine smile began to grace his lips. The thought would always put a smile on his face, and saying it was an exhilarating feeling.

Stunned, Craig opened his mouth and stammered on words. "Are you really?"

There was a hint of glee in his question and the Doctor chuckled in return, looking back down at the plush in his hands. "Yes," He said, almost shyly.

"Oh my god, Doctor!" Sophie exclaimed and made her way to him. "Congratulations!" She lifted him from the couch by the arms and pulled him in a warm embrace. He chuckled and patted her back awkwardly, throwing a look at Craig behind them. The latter walked to them and patted his shoulder in a manly way of saying congratulations.

When Sophie pulled away from the hug, he brushed the fringe out of his eyes and tried to stop the blush from rising up to his ears. He was almost shy to tell them, not yet believing it fully himself. The feeling was so exhilarating. 

He brushed the fringe awkwardly behind his ear, "Please, don’t tell anyone yet. You two are the only ones to know with River’s parents and, well, we want to wait a bit. Just for… you know…" He trailed off in a shrug. They nodded in response. 

After a second of silence, Craig snorted and looked back into the Doctor’s eyes. "It still doesn’t tell us why you’re here."

"Well," The Doctor sat back and Sophie sat beside him, Craig taking back his place on the chair opposite them. "I’m really happy, I’m overjoyed and over the moon, but…" He paused and frowned to himself. "I— I don’t know how to do that. I mean, I was never told what to do and it’s quite… _scary_. A weird kind of scary, but still… So, I— I went to you guys for advice."

Sophie smiled at his side and place a comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked in her direction, his eyes showing his worries and insecurities. "We could give you the best advice in the world, Doctor, it would never be enough." The Doctor pursed his lips into a frown. "Parenthood is something no one quite know until they experience it. No one learns about it, and no one is expected to." The Doctor nodded slowly and dropped his eyes to his hands. "I was like you when I fell pregnant, and River might feel even more terrified that you are."

He nodded, she was right. River was absolutely terrified by this. But that didn’t remove the fact that she wanted it nonetheless and was overjoyed about it. 

Sophie gave him a squeeze of the shoulder and he looked back at her. "The best advice I can give you is, don’t freak out, everything comes naturally. Even if you think it won’t, it will. That’s the nature of humanity… And Time Lords, I guess." The Doctor chuckled at that and it made him drop some stress. "Doctor, you’re human enough to have this bond between you and your child, it will be fine. And don’t try to make things perfect, because they won’t be and there is no such thing as perfection. Just believe in yourself."

"And listen to your wife," Craig chimed in with a smirk. The Doctor turned his attention to him, a smile appeared on his face. "And make her feel beautiful, and loved, by you more than anyone else." Craig glanced at his wife and the latter shook her head with a small chuckle.

"But it’s true, you know." Sophie spoke up, turning her face back to him, "What Craig said. It’s… a complicated time for a woman, full of doubts and full of worries. She’s bearing a child and it is hard. Your role in this is to support her in return."

The Doctor nodded, love and cherish then. He was already doing this with River, even when she wasn’t pregnant. His role was to be there, and stop freaking out when she was. Because she would be and already was. The best advice was in the end to be there, no matter what happened, no matter the difficult days and the easy ones. That wasn’t only his duty as the father of the child but more importantly as River’s husband. And he wanted that, he so wanted it. Be himself and calm her down, it shouldn’t be so difficult.

"Now, let us go to sleep, Doctor." Craig said solemnly and the Doctor nodded quickly, clasping his hands together and standing up abruptly. 

"Yes, yes, alright." He stammered but was cut off by Craig enveloping him in his arms, a small squeak leaving his mouth at the sudden move. 

Craig patted his back and whispered something in his ear, "Please, don’t name your child something like Stormageddon."

The Doctor snorted into his arms, "I don’t think River would approve of that."

"Then, that’s all the better." Craig pulled away from the embrace and the Doctor laughed, shaking his head playfully.

He fell silent, lips pursed into a smile. This was the most human of his friend and he wasn’t afraid to say it was the one who could help him to most right now. He felt closer to him at this moment, and maybe, maybe it was fantasy, but maybe the father secret bond actually existed. It was funny, but he was looking forward to that. The notion of… just… staying on Earth and enjoying life. Proper life, the real one. The one of the beginning. 

This was the greatest adventure to come. And he was ready. Yes, he was. Even eager to look forward. 

"Alright, I’m going." He stated and gave them a small salute. It was ridiculous, but he was ridiculously happy. 

He walked to the front door, the couple following him close behind. It was going to be fine. He knew it was. Opening the door, he turned around to bid them goodbye, and goodnight, and sorry for the disturbance. A smile crossed his face. 

Craig and Sophie smiled in unison, waving at him from the threshold. Walking out in the summer breeze, he threw them a last goodbye before making his way to the TARDIS that awaited him in the middle of the street. 

Opening the doors of his ship, he walked into the welcoming hum of the TARDIS, the lights shining brightly, joyfully. "See," He spoke up and walked slowly to the console, giving him a small smile at the time rotor. "Everything is fine, nothing is wrong. On the contrary, everything is glorious."

He pulled the lever to him and the TARDIS set itself into the flight back home. Aiming for just a few minutes after he left, the Doctor hoped nobody would have noticed his absence. But he had needed this, the reassuring voice of people with experience, his friends. 

The blue boringers were still on and he arrived smoothly at the place he was supposed to be. Walking down the stairs with his hands in his pockets, he sighed, the stress getting out of his body in an instant. There was nothing to worry about, because everything was going to be fine. 

Opening the door slowly, he peeked outside. No lights were on, great. He closed the door delicately behind him and made his way back to the house. The moon was high and full in the sky and the summer breeze was refreshing. The night, everything was peaceful.

He removed his shoes before opening the backdoor and slipped through it, managing to keep quiet in this deafening silence. He tiptoed to the stairs and left his shoes at the bottom of it, walking up the steps on his tiptoes. The corridor was empty, and he thought this was a good thing. He walked to his room and opened the door slowly, trying not to make it creak. It didn’t.

Inside the bedroom, he distinguished River’s form on the bed, she had turned in her sleep and was now facing him. But she was asleep. He couldn’t help but smile, she was even more beautiful when she wasn’t aware of being. 

He made his way to his side of the bed, undressing quietly and throwing his clothes on the chair. Plopping back down on the bed, he sighed. He was already more sleepy than before. Throwing the cover over him, he scooted closer to River and placed a hand around her waist, tugged her infinitely closer. 

She made a small sound in the back of her throat and rolled towards him on instinct. She snuggled against his bare chest and wove her small hands between their hearts. "Whe’ve you been?"

Her question was of the tiniest whisper and he knew she was still mostly asleep. He tugged her closer and she snuffled in the crook of his neck. "Bathroom." That was an easy lie, but she was half asleep and he was fine now. There was nothing to worry about. 

She hummed and let out a sleepy breath, rounding a hand around his waist and nuzzling her face to his chest. He bit his lower lip to repress a smile and lay a kiss on the crown of her head. She had already fallen back to sleep.

He exhaled a breath and snuggled against her warm body, closing his eyes and finally feeling like he could rest. 

It was a new adventure ahead of them, and he welcomed it. Because it was going to be… _amazing_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always love to make the Doctor interact with Craig, there's something infinitely human about this.  
> Tell me what you thought of this chapter and don't hesitate to leave a kudo, I would adore it!
> 
> Chapter title by Imagine Dragons with 'It's Time'.


	5. Thinking of the Times That Forever Are Ours

— 6 weeks pregnant —

The Doctor opened the backdoor, faintly whistling to himself as he walked out into the garden. The sun was already high in the sky but there was still a soft breeze to keep away from the heat of the summer. This was, apparently, one of the few things of the good sides of Leadworth.

He caught River’s figure sitting on the steps of the terrace, her back to him and her curls swaying with the breeze. He couldn’t help but smile at her sight. He did that nowadays, not that he didn’t smile at her sight before the news of her pregnancy, but _eh_.

He sighed to himself and shook his head with a slight roll of his eyes. The rambling was still part of him, and it appeared he tended to do that more nowadays. Internal thinking was his way of letting go of the stress.

River turned her face to him when he plopped down beside her, gangly limbs flying in all directions. She pursed her lips into a smile and he wondered if she was genuinely happy to see him or if she was making fun of him at his expense.

Either way, he didn’t mind much.

Scooting closer, he leaned on his hands and dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder. This elicited a smile from her. "What are you doing here all alone?" He questioned and she lifted her cup of tea from her lap, showing him exactly what she was doing. He hummed in compassion, "Oh, still that awful tea that’s supposed to help with morning sickness? _Yuck_." He made a grimace.

River snorted. "It’s not even working anyway," She sighed and looked back at the garden with a purse of her lips. "But it’s relaxing here. I think that’s what helps."

Humming back, the Doctor dropped his head on her shoulder with a sigh and directed his eyes to the scenery in front of him. It was the season of the birds singing in the trees, albeit fewer now. The middle of august brought joyful singing birds and a small breeze announcing the end of the heat.

The atmosphere was pleasant to watch, the trees swayed slightly with the wind and the sun didn’t hit too hard on this time of the day.

In front of the trees stood the TARDIS, stoic and fierce, unwavering from the wind or the heat, although the box needed some blue paint back. It was an anachronism but it was a pleasant sight.

The Doctor pursed his lips into a small frown.

He’d had a week to think for himself. This was seven days and many more hours. And the sight of the TARDIS in front of his eyes appeared to him as a question. A choice to be made had come to his mind, a few days ago. And it was almost bittersweet, but the answer came to him, clear and unwavering. As if there was no other option, and for him, there wasn’t any.

This was a choice between the two places that brought infinite joy in his hearts over the years. The TARDIS or Leadworth. But it wasn’t those places that made his hearts lurch at their mention, no. It wasn’t merely the containers, although the TARDIS was much more than a container to him. But it was what they held.

The stars or River. The discovery of River’s pregnancy had quickened his trail of thought on this question. Of course he had thought about it before, of course he had asked himself the question that rattled about his head. But now… there was no other option. It was an evidence.

There was no choice to make. Because he had always wanted to go in the direction things were going right now.

Straightening from River’s shoulder, he placed his hands on his lap, slightly rubbing them against the fabric of his trousers. He couldn’t blame his sweaty hands on the heat of the summer.

He sighed deeply and pursed his lips, thinking about his words, "You remember the time I was sick?" His voice broke the comfortable silence between the two and he turned his gaze to River. The latter looked at him, tilting her head with a frown creasing her brows. He shook his head slightly, alright that wasn’t a very precise question, he admitted it. "The," he cleared his throat, "The carnivorous plant from Occisor Naturae." The slightly dangerous adventure that lead him to a near death and a week of bedrest because of the flu afterwards, _yeah_ , that was the one.

River nodded slowly, squinting her eyes as she tried to remember what exactly happened back then and why he was bringing this up. "Yes, what about it?"

"Oh, nothing to worry about," He held his hands in the air and a nervous chuckle escaped him. Passing a hand through his fringe, he continued, "I told you, back then, about the fact that I wasn’t ready to— to stop travelling and… and commit, to this." He waved at his surroundings and River frowned.  "I—"

He paused for a second, analysing his words. He didn’t know how to phrase that. Letting out a breath, he turned fully to River. She opened her mouth slightly, intending to say something but nothing came out. Her eyes danced over his face, trying to read it for an answer. The lack of it let her dumbstruck.

"River," He stopped, dropping his eyes to his lap before looking back at her. "I— My life is with the stars, in the TARDIS. And I’ve never dreamt of anything else in my life. I could never see myself getting rid of them." He paused, again, and wetted his lips, searching for the following words.

River’s chin wobbled as her mouth moved without any sound. She wanted to say something, anything really, but found the words stuck in her mouth. The Doctor’s face was unreadable, he was thinking, yes, she could see that, she knew him enough to see that he was thinking. But thinking about what, she didn’t know.

The Doctor saw tears pricking at the corner of her eyes and didn’t know how to decipher them. Where they good, or bad? Pursing his lips into a small smile, he brought a hand to her knee and she visibly flinched at the touch.

"But…" A small chuckle escaped his lips when he looked at River, she looked at him with big eyes, searching for the explanation in his eyes. "But, River, I—" A soft smile began to grace his lips. River felt at a loss as tears continued to well up in her eyes. "I realised that, the stars, they… they’re worth nothing. They’re pretty, yes, but they don’t hold anything meaningful to me."

River let out a shaky breath, she didn’t know if she had to cry of sadness or happiness, if she had to even cry or not. Incomprehension was playing with her mind, a minute ago he… and now he… _What_ …  She was at a loss.

But his eyes were hopeful, and she hanged onto that.

"River," The Doctor breathed out and brought his hand to her face, cupping her cheek. "Back then I wasn’t ready. But now, the stars and the universe are nothing compared to you. I—" He pursed his lips and a small smile appeared on his face. "We’re both in our last regeneration and— I… I just want to enjoy life now." He gave her a bright smile and River couldn’t help but smile in return. "With you and the little one."

River let out a shaky breath and nodded as the Doctor dropped his hand to her stomach, gazing into her eyes with the purest of look. He had been thinking about this for so long now, he ready wanted this life, fully. He had been slowly going in this direction but now he was sure and unwavering in his decision.

This was all he had always wanted.

"I don’t want the TARDIS to by my home and Leadworth my adventure." He said, bringing his hand back to her cheek as River looked at him with big watery eyes. "I don’t want this to be this way around anymore. What I want is Leadworth as my home, _you_ as my home, and the TARDIS as the adventure."

River nodded once again, pressing her lips together as a wave of tears suddenly overwhelmed her. A single tear fell on her cheek but the Doctor was quick to brush it away, a suddenly worried expression on his face.

"Eh, why are you crying?" He stroked at her cheek.

A laugh escaped her mouth and she shook her head with a bright smile. "It’s the bloody mood swings." She let out a whimper and placed her mug on the grass, engulfing him in her arms. She held on tightly to him, her arms around his shoulders and a hand passing through his hair. Pressing her cheeks against his, she let out a deep breath and snuggled closer to him. "Are you really sure you want that? Are you really, _really_ sure?"

She felt him snort against her. He stroked her back tenderly and nuzzled his face in her hair. "Of course, I want that." His voice was partly muffled by her hair but she held him infinitely closer. "I want to live this life. And I don’t want to wait any more second to live it. I want to properly live now. And I want this life _with you_ , I’ve always wanted it with you."

River choked on a whimper and travelled her hand through his hair, the motion soothing to her. She could feel the Doctor’s smile against her cheek and felt her own cheeks tugging into one.

Drawing back gently, she brushed the fringe out of her his eyes and looked into them. "I love you." She whispered softly.

Bringing his hands on either side of her face, he gave her a tender smile that made her hearts melt inside her chest. "I love you, too. You are my life and I want you. This is the biggest of adventures yet, and I already know it will be the greatest of them all."

River nodded and she drew him to her, closing the gap between them by crashing her lips upon his. The kiss was slow and tender. They didn’t need to fight for dominance, they didn’t need to kiss as if it was the last time they could.

Because they had their whole lives in front of them, and for once they didn’t fear about the future. Because the future was to be made together, and it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title by Tom Rosenthal with 'For You To Be Here'.


	6. This Is a Journey and We Call It Home

— 8 weeks pregnant —

River turned on her side with a faint groan, tugging the duvet to her chin.

Bringing her legs closer to her chest, she let out a small breath of irritation. Her morning sickness, which totally didn’t happen _only_ in the mornings, was slowly getting on her nerves. She’d been suffering from it for the past two weeks. And even though this week had been a slight rest in comparison to the last one, she still felt the worst.

Sighing, she pressed her face to her pillow, her lips pursed into a tired frown.

Well, she couldn’t say she was feeling any better, she was just… not throwing up right now. Which was great. It was always great. Compared to that point, she could say she was better yes, she was wonderful even. _Magnificent_.

If she could roll her eyes while them being closer she would.

Opening them slowly, she blinked at the light entering the room. The curtains were drawn back but some rays of sun were still filtering through them, creating this wonderful ambient of waking up on a sunny day of summer.

River passed her hand over her face as her eyes adjusted to the light around the bedroom. The other side of the bed was cold and empty, it wasn’t much of a surprise. Since she wasn’t very well in the mornings at the moment, she tended to wake up later than she did naturally. She didn’t know what time it was, and frankly didn’t have the courage or strength to calculate an approximation by the position of the sun in the sky. That she could barely see through the curtains.

Plus, she simply needed to roll onto her back to look at her clock. The thought seemed too much of energy for her and she groaned. That was another bad side of pregnancy, being tired. Always so, _so_ tired. She knew it was the hormones and that it was a normal feeling to have. She just wasn’t that accustomed to feel like that, with so little energy or want to do anything. 

Obviously, it was the baby taking all the energy for themselves. And she gladly gave it to them, even if the notion was still a bit strange to her. She thought she would never completely grasp the fact that there was someone growing inside of her. There was someone growing inside of her! The notion was both exhilarating and scary.

The less exhilarating part was feeling nauseous during the whole day, when she wasn’t throwing up. She really hoped pregnancy wasn’t feeling nauseous and tired for the whole nine months. Well, seven now for her.

Oh, how the time has flown. Three weeks ago she discovered she was pregnant and here she was, already two months ahead. Only seven months to wait then. This was for the better, she was so eager to meet the little one, even though she knew that right now they looked more like a fish than a human.

But she had already created a bond with this little human. She wondered if they could hear her thoughts, maybe, did babies had this kind of bond with their mother? She didn’t really know, she wasn’t that sure.

Stretching her arms in front of her, she tugged the Doctor’s pillow closer to her, hugging it to her face. She didn’t mind waking up alone in the mornings, obviously the Doctor needed less sleep than her and he always did get restless after laying down doing nothing for too long. And sleeping in was no fun when it was only sleeping.

Some people said pregnancy enhanced the libido. Well, for the moment she was focusing on not throwing up and maintaining as much energy she could to last a whole day. This was sport altogether. There was only much she could do.

Plus, the Doctor knew better than to initiate something with her at the moment. She looked sick enough not to look desirable. So, she cuddled, she liked cuddling with the Doctor. And she knew he liked that too.

Rolling to her other side, she stretched her legs underneath the duvet and yawned. She should probably be getting up now. It was late enough and she wasn’t feeling the worst at the moment, this was the perfect time to wake up before a new wave of nausea would strike again. She was already dreading it.

Removing the duvet from her body, the warmth of her bed left her as she sat up with a slight groan. Even during the summer, Leadworth was _not that hot_. She passed a hand through her tousled curls, not looking forward to brushing them. She really hoped the baby would inherit the Doctor’s hair, straight and soft at the touch. Not her puffy mess. But she knew the Doctor wanted otherwise and would be outraged if the baby didn’t at least take her hair. 

Scratching the back of her hair, she yawned once again. Why was she feeling like shit right now? And for the past few days really. Bloody hormones. She knew it was the beginning and was _supposed_ to put her all over the place, but still… It was like the teenage years she didn’t have, except ten years later and ten times worst.

She had thought the difficult part came at the end of the pregnancy, not in the beginning. Well, turned out it was both, for whole different reasons thought, but still… Pregnancy was only fun for the result and just to see her body change with time.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and placed her chin in her palm. And over everything, she was _tired_.

Groaning, she passed a hand over her face and stood up, small stars dancing over her eyes for an instant. She picked her cardigan from the chair and put it on to keep her from the slight chill of the morning, even if it was morning only to her.

She went out of the room, descending the stairs and making her way to the kitchen. The best way to fight off this awful feeling of nausea was to drink a tea that soothed her stomach, and that was awful at the taste. But if it was the only thing that could make her feel better.

When she arrived in the kitchen, she saw the Doctor entering it opposite her from the backdoor, a trowel in his hand. He looked more joyful than her, and why did he have a trowel in his hand?

With hands covered in dirt, he walked up to her, a smile on his face and hands in the air. "Hi honey," He bent down to place a soft kiss on her lips and she met him on her tiptoes. "Slept well?"

She began to nod but made a grimace as she Doctor walked to the sink, dumping the trowel in it and beginning to wash his hands. "Urgh, what’s that?" She questioned with a groan and the Doctor turned his face to her, a frown forming on his traits. She tasted at her lips and made another grimace, "Have you been eating fish fingers and custard? You taste like it and it’s disgusting. I hate that."

She pursed her lips into a groan. It was funny how things she could support before, she totally can’t stand it anymore. That wonderful pregnancy of hers, keeping her away from nasty things. The Doctor should take notes from that.

The latter pursed his lips in compassion and had the decency to blush. She rolled her eyes at him, he was a child and she was liking it too much. Oh gosh, she would have to take care of two children now. She snorted to herself and walked to the kettle, activating it for her wonderful tea against morning sickness.

"You should try to eat something, honey." The Doctor spoke up and she turned her attention to him. "You’ve barely eaten anything for the past few days or so."

There was an ounce of worry in his voice but she shook her head slightly, leaning against the countertop. "No," She said and a small grimace crossed her face. "Even talking about food makes me sick. I’d rather keep what I have inside than throw it all up." The Doctor nodded, a tiny smile gracing his lips and she was sure he wanted to roll his eyes. "I’m fine with water, my awful tea and some crackers."

She snorted but her smile faltered for an instant, transforming into a pout. She let out a sigh and turned her back to him, checking on the kettle. Those mood swings were not funny to handle. 

But then, she felt the Doctor’s arms encircle her from behind. He delicately placed his hands on her abdomen, knowing full well how sensitive it was at the moment. The presence of the Doctor beside her was always a thing that gave her her energy back, like reloading her batteries. And he always knew that it was what she needed, to just calm her nerves down.

Letting out a tired breath, she leaned against him and felt him nuzzle his face in her hair. He stroked a delicate thumb across her clothed abdomen, and she loved the way he hugged her but also hugged the small one. She knew he would make a wonderful father when it would be time, the bond was already strong between the two.

Placing her head on his shoulder, she looked up at the ceiling and was tempted to close her eyes. "I look like shit." She mumbled.

He tsked her, "No, you don’t."

Snorting, she shook her head, "I’m always tired, as if my ten hours of sleep every night was not enough. I always want to throw up and it is really not the funny part. And I even have breakouts because of the hormones!"

"You don’t." The Doctor snorted and she groaned, letting her head bob on his shoulder. He chuckled behind her and she had the sudden urge to slap him over the head.

"I’m not even showing a bit," She mumbled with a purse of her lips. "How can I feel like shit when I can’t even see I’m pregnant. That’s not fair." She pouted as she spoke to no one in particular. "At least, give me something to make me feel less like shit right now."

She would handle the symptoms of the pregnancy if she could at least see that she was pregnant. That would motivate her and she would surely be more joyful. Right it just looked like she was sick, she didn’t want to look sick, she wanted to look pregnant.

The Doctor hummed behind her and travelled his hands underneath her top, placing them on top of her bare stomach and stroking the skin there tenderly. "I can see the changes." She whispered against her ear. "It’s not a lot but I can still see it, I feel it. I feel the difference."

River groaned, "I’m just bloated."

Snorting, he left a kiss on the nape of her neck. "You’re not, stop it." He nuzzled his nose against the junction between her shoulder and neck and she felt a small smile beginning to grace her lips. "I can see it River. I know you and I can see the change. That’s not bloated, that’s a bump." Reluctantly, River nodded and he pulled her closer. "You know, I’ve done some researches and apparently the little one looks like a raspberry right now."

River lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him with a gleam in the eyes, "Really?"

"Yes, really." He chuckled, trailing off to place his head back against her hair. She could see he was smiling to himself.

She hummed in appreciation. She knew he was doing researched from his side. That was the Doctor after all, he had to be informed of everything. He told it was to be prepared, she rather thought it was to stop freaking out. She found that very adorable.

"What were you doing outside with that trowel anyway?" She asked, quite interested to know the story behind that.

The Doctor groaned and a grin already appeared on her face. "Amy thinks I’m too much in a bored mood nowadays now that you’re too tired to entertain me." She snorted and could totally see him rolling his eyes. "So, she makes me do the chores, and she thought good that we did some gardening today. Turns out I’m not very good at that and Amy is mad at me now."

River laughed heartily at that and the Doctor grumbled under his breath, tugging her closer and nuzzling his face in her hair. This was making her feel less shitty, she was appreciating it. "Mum’s torturing you." She said on a mocking tone and he huffed behind her.

"She _is_!"

She couldn’t help but laugh, that being another aspect of the mod swings of her. This was by far the best on to note. Leaning her head back on his shoulder, she had to remind herself that she should thank her mum for keeping the Doctor sane during this whole stressful thing. But she knew he would do great on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those 'moments in time' chapters are funny to write, there will be much more in the following weeks!   
> Tell me what you think of it!
> 
> Chapter title by The Dø with 'Despair, Hangover & Ecstasy'.


	7. But Still You, Still You Want Me

— 9 weeks pregnant —

River leaned against the back of her chair, half listening to the current conversation in the kitchen. With arms crossed over her chest, she looked at a far on point in the room, not really looking at anything. For once, all her family was reunited for a collective breakfast, a thing that was rare nowadays with her father always working days and nights, and more if he could.

She was really making an effort to show herself at the table. For them, she plastered a gentle smile on her face and nodded when she had to, not really talking part in the discussions. But inside, she was clenching her teeth and digging her nails into her arms, trying to concentrate on keeping down her waves of nausea.

This had been, by far, the worst week of her life. Alright, well maybe not… But still, it was high on the list. She couldn’t remember when was the last time she ate something, the only thing she could remember was staying in bed for every day of the week or taking office in the bathroom, near the toilet bowl.

Her morning sickness was higher than ever and she really hoped her baby was enjoying all her hormones and other things that were here for their development. Because River absolutely hated it.

She had really wanted to make an effort by being there for breakfast, with everyone, but she was already feeling the nausea cling at her throat, sign that she shouldn’t be trying herself too much. This was horrible, absolutely horrendous. The only thing she could do was clench her jaw and plaster a smile on her face.

Maybe, coming down was a bad idea after all. She _did_ had the right not to feel well right now, it was natural, she guessed. She had simply wanted to enjoy a good time with her family, after that frankly shitty week she had, this was the only thing she asked for.

Sighing, she dropped her chin to her chest and just hoped the nausea would stop. This was the worst of feelings, really. 

"Riv?" The Doctor’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and she looked up at him with tired eyes, coming back slowly to reality. He watched her with an expectant look and she frowned faintly, having no idea what he was on about. He may have been calling her name a few times, she didn’t hear him. She had realised this was one of the symptoms of pregnancy, one zooms out  and daydream. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

He waved the kettle at her but she shook her head with a grimace. She couldn’t drink anymore of this awful tea, and she had created an absolute distaste for ginger. This was supposed to help her, but it didn’t, and now the mere sight of them made her want to throw up. _Wonderful_. Now she couldn’t even prevent being sick.

She looked back down at a point on the table, exhaling a breath through her nose. "Are you alright?" He asked after a minute, sitting down on the seat opposite her. Her eyes drifted to his face and she pursed her lips into a grimace. No, she wasn’t alright. She was bloody on the verge of throwing up and _really_ trying to get the idea far away from her mind.

The Doctor offered her a compassionate look, full of worries, of course. Her mother sat on the chair next to her and stroked a hand down her arm, comforting in the best way they could. Of course, they couldn’t do anything for her, she just needed to go through that. That was the rule.

She took a deep breath and bit her lower lip, this was not fair, not at all.

Her father was finally the last to sit at the table, bringing the food with him, and she could only press her lips together and keep her stomach under control for so long. She was feeling very faint, small stars beginning to dance across her eyes. Taking a long breath, she exhaled through her nostrils and blinked several times to stop the dizziness. This didn’t help.

Groaning faintly, she dropped her head to the table, pressing her hands to her face as she jutted out her lower lip. She couldn’t understand what was happening in her body, well she knew, very well so. But what angered her was that she couldn’t do anything about it. She was helpless in this.

The Doctor threw a worried glance Amy’s way and she pursed her lips into a frown. Scooting her chair closer to River’s, she placed a hand down her back and stroked it comfortingly, drawing small patterns on her back for support. "River, sweetheart, maybe you’d be better back in bed." She offered but River shook her head against the table.

"No…" She trailed off and straightened up after a few seconds. Grimacing, she sat back against her chair and let out a breath. "I’ve enough of being in bed. I’m not good either way, I’d rather be here with you."

She passed a hand before her tired face and groaned, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips together. The Doctor watched her as she fell back into a silence and her eyes drifted to nowhere in particular.

Amy threw him a look and he could only give it back, he didn’t like seeing this River in that state. He knew this was just a phase and would surely go away in a few days or so. But still, it made his hearts ache.

Sitting back against his chair, he sighed and tried to change the conversation topic. He could only detach his eyes from River for a few seconds but decided that not being well himself because of her state was not going to make things better.

"So," He directed his attention to Amy. "What are my chores for today?"

A faint smile crossed his face at the question and Amy rolled her eyes, "Don’t call them chores, they’re not." He raised an eyebrow and she shook her head at his idiocy. "You’re merely helping me with _housework_. It’s a way for me to make them quicker, you know. And that way you’re not bored out of your mind." At that the Doctor rolled his eyes, he was not bored out of his mind on a daily basis. It was just that with River in bed all day, he was quite… bored, well yeah, alright. "Plus Rory’s here today, we’ll do a thing together."

It was Rory who raised an eyebrow at this comment, his dream day of relaxing crumbling into pieces. The Doctor threw a glance at his father-in-law and they shared a look, both snorting into their cup of tea. Amy huffed and the Doctor took pity on her, "You still make me do all the chores _too hard_ to do yourself." He emphasised on the words with a smirk on his face. "How do you explain that, eh?"

Amy gaped in faux shock and leaned across the table, "I do _not_. I share the tasks between the two of us _equally_ and without any ulterior motive in mind. I can’t even believe you’re thinking _I_ would do that."

The Doctor snorted, leaning back on his chair with crossed arms, a defiant look in his eyes, "Well, I think you’re making me do this because you find it funny to see me struggling with _gardening_." He lashed out the word in disgust but the grin on his face told about the fun he was having bantering with Amy. "It’s not my fault if I can’t plan—"

He was stopped short by River abruptly standing up from her chair and running out of the kitchen. The smile falling from his face, he straightened up all of a sudden in his chair and opened his mouth in a startle.

They heard the door of the nearest toilet thumping against the wall and the Doctor looked in the direction she had disappeared to, "Is she—" But then, they heard her coughing and throwing up. Standing up abruptly, his chair rattled behind him and he quickly rounded the table and made his way down the corridor.

Rushing to her side, he entered the toilet to see her heaving, kneeling on the cold floor. He began to walk to her but she stopped him with a hand, "Please, don’t come…" She said between breaths and leaned her cheek against the toilet bowl.

"Bullshit." He said, stepping closer to her and she groaned, throwing up into the toilet once more. He crouched by her side and held her hair back into a ponytail as she coughed and crumpled against the side of the toilet. Taking a hairband from her wrist, he tied her hair into a sort of ponytail in an expert way and stroked a hand down the length of her back in comfort.

"You okay?" He asked and River nodded faintly, closing her eyes and pressing her cheek to the toilet bowl. Pursing his lips into a compassionate look, he brushed the few tendrils of hair that escaped her mess ponytail.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Amy and Rory standing in the corridor, worried looks on their faces. He threw them a faint grimace as he brushed River’s hair in a soothing manner. Amy handed him a glass of water and he stood up to take it with a small thanks, sitting back on his knees next to River and giving it to her.

She reluctantly opened her eyes and took it with trembling hands, rinsing her mouth and pushing the glass back in his hands. He saw her taking a big trembling breath as she leaned back against the side of the toilet, closing her eyes tightly and jutting out her lower lip in what looked like a pout. Which he knew wasn’t one.

Dropping his hand to her back, he scooted closer to her and rubbed it gentle as to sooth her nerves. "What’s wrong, Riv?" He knew this look of hers meant she was on the verge of crying. He knew her well enough to decipher this pout from another one. And this one meant no good.

Her chin wobbled as she pressed her lips together and he repeated her name, stroking a hand down her arm. "Everything." She whispered at last and it almost felt like a whimper. She bit her lower lip and sniffled.

The Doctor looked back at the Ponds still at the threshold of the door. He handed the glass of water back to Amy and gave them a look that was asking for time alone with their daughter. He knew River didn’t like to show her emotions when she was sad or in pain, and he knew she’d rather her parents did not observe her when she was crying.

But they understood, of course they did. At the Doctor’s demand, they walked away from the door and let them in peace, only the two of them.

Turning his attention back to River, he brushed curls out of her eyes and it made her open her eyes. He smiled softly at her but she could only grimace. "Why are you crying?" He asked gently and she sniffled, shrugging.

"I don’t know…" She breathed out, her voice trembling as she tried to straighten from her position against the hard and cold toilet. She grimaced at the movement and it made her press her lips together as another wave of nausea caught her. She leaned her back against the wall and took a deep breath, feeling better in this position. "I’m— I’m so full of this." She deflated and whimpered, brushing at her eyes with her palm. "I’m so tired, and hungry but the mere sight of food makes me want to throw up. And without even looking at food I want to throw up anyway." She made a small noise in the back of her mouth and scrunched her face into a grimace as new tears made the way up her eyes. "And I’m dizzy, and humpff…" She trailed off.

The Doctor brushed at the tears at the corner of her eyes and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head. "You’re okay, it’s okay. I’m here." He soothed her with his words and she nodded faintly after a second. "Come on," He stood up and lifted her from under her shoulders, eliciting a groan from her as she wasn’t good with changing positions. "This isn’t the best place to rest, honey. And you might need to change your t-shirt… There are splashes of vomit on it."

She groaned and leaned on him as he held her by the waist while they walked out of the toilet. Small stars danced before her eyes and she really needed to lay down now. The Doctor supported her as they walked up the stairs and to their bedroom.

He made her sit on the side of the bed while he went to rummage through the wardrobe for a loose top for her. River looked at him, sighing and crumpling on herself. Right now she wanted to sleep, she was so tired nowadays. 

The Doctor walked back to her after an instant. "Arms up." He said and she helped him just enough for him to remove her dirty top and put another cleaner one.

When they were done, River lay down on the bed with a faint groan, placing her hands on her abdomen to make the aching go away. She closed her eyes and exhaled a breath. Finally, she was feeling better instantly. She guessed she’d have to spend the whole day in bed then, like every other day before. Sighing, she told herself that this was s _upposed_ to stop soon. She really hoped it would.

The Doctor dropped on the bed next to her and scooted closer, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder. "Better now?"

She nodded faintly and he placed another tiny kisses on her shoulder. Nuzzling his nose against it, he brought a hand to her abdomen but hesitated for an instant, afraid to hurt her. "Can I?"

She nodded, removing her own hands to make room for his own. "Yeah, yours warm. It’s soothing."

The Doctor closed his eyes at the same time she did. He let out a breath and nuzzled closer.

She wasn’t aware of it yet, and rightly so, but he could feel and see that she was pregnant. The bump was not evident right now but her abdomen was firmer and just starting to peek out more than naturally. It was a beautiful sight and the touch was wonderful too. Of course he couldn’t feel the child at this point in the pregnancy, but with his hand on top of it he felt closer to it, as close as he would ever get during those nine months.

Yes, the beginning was harsh. And the morning sickness and mood swings didn’t lie. But he was there for River, even though he could do nothing but support her. He was there and he knew how to sooth her, in every way. That was his job in the pregnancy.

And it felt so real all of a sudden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm a horrible person for making River sick but don't worry, she'll get way better soon. :)
> 
> Chapter title by Imagine Dragons with 'Next To Me'.


	8. Inside This Place Is Warm, Outside It Starts to Pour

— 11 weeks pregnant —

River walked into the living room, dragging her feet behind her and suppressing a yawn. She saw the Doctor seated on the couch, holding his chin in a palm as he leaned against the armrest, absentmindedly watching the TV. He was waiting on everyone to come for the movie night but apparently the amount of time everyone took to reunite was awfully long on his side.

A smile crossed River’s face at his sight, he was being petulant even when he wasn’t intentionally. It was hilarious.

Looking up at her arrival, the Doctor’s face broke into a smile, one that said _finally_. She couldn’t help but purse her lips into a grin. Walking to the couch, she plopped down beside him and dropped her head to his shoulder with a tired sigh. She was awfully looking to this wonderful phase of the pregnancy that appeared easy. Morning sickness was nearly gone, the tiredness, not so much.

With a sigh, she dropped her head onto his lap and readjusted herself to be on her back, looking up at him through her lashes as he looked down with an amused look on his face. "Alright, so I may just be getting completely bonkers." She stated and the Doctor gave her an amused frown. He dropped a hand to her hair and began to brush it back from her head, playing with the small ringlets at the crown of her head. River sighed, "Like, _really_."

"Why’s that?" He asked, while stroking her hair.

River balanced her feet on the armrest of the couch, sinking deeper into it. And was she sulking? She crossed her arms over her chest for an instant but uncrossed them as they laid by her side. "I’m starting to feel like custard c _ould be_ a good enough meal altogether."

The Doctor snorted and his hand stilled in her hair, "I thought I’d never see the day."

River made a mocking grimace and he passed a hand over her features, she rolled her eyes. "Don’t get your hopes up. Fish fingers and custard still looks like a disgusting dish to me."

Jetting out his lower lip, the Doctor pouted.

This elicited a giggle from River’s mouth and she brought a hand up to brush the fringe falling in front of his eyes. "You don’t know the amount of dreams I have only thinking about food. I even think there might even be some wet dreams that involve food." She giggled and the Doctor looked down with arched eyebrows, it made her giggle even more. "I’m not even kidding."

He shook his head with a roll of the eyes, "I hope there’s still some place for wet dreams including me."

River laughed, "Don’t be jealous." He simply rolled his eyes but said nothing and she gasped at him, "Oh my god, you’re jealous! Don’t be jealous of food." She couldn’t help but laugh as he grumbled under his breath. "If that can reassure you, I have plenty of wild dreams with you."

She saw the grin crossing her husband’s face and rolled her eyes at his childishness. Bringing his head down to her level, she pecked his lips into a reassuring kiss. Although, she was sure he didn’t need any but those past few weeks might have been confusing and lacking of some sort for him.

Alright, for the past six weeks there hadn’t been any much of intimacy between the two. But it was understandable, she’d been affected with diverse waves of morning sickness and she was always tired, so the act wouldn’t have been very much active on her part. 

Well, there was that one time a few weeks ago where she was feeling quite alright for once, she thought she did, and she had to stop in the middle of it because she was on the verge of throwing up and it wasn’t the climax she was looking for. They had a good laugh at it and had decided that resting side by side, with no one moving, was great nonetheless.

So, yeah, she could say they hadn’t done anything much since the news of her pregnancy. It was as straining for the Doctor as it was for her, they both _really_ wanted it. But River preferred to wait until there wasn’t any sign of morning sickness in sight anymore, she really didn’t want a reenactment of last time.

The worst part was that the lack of intimacy between the two was beginning to make River dream more and more of the act, making her more and more wanton. Or maybe it was just the hormones, actually it was surely that. Nowadays everything was to blame on the hormones.

"It’s funny," River spoke up and the Doctor hummed questioningly, looking back down at her. "It’s as if every single food that repulsed me before had a sudden interest to me. I have wild thoughts on kinds of food I didn’t even know before existed. Like, I have this sudden knowledge of those different types of papayas that only exist on the planet of Meriacus."

The Doctor chuckled through a hum, "Well, those are rather good. Plus, it’s quite normal, your body’s making you experiment new things that you wouldn’t have thought before, it’s mind opening." River pondered the thought for a moment but acknowledged his response. "It’s for the baby," He said, placing a hand on her abdomen. She smiled softly, "Giving the bean everything they need to grow full and well."

River chuckled as she placed her own hand above his own, "Stop calling our baby a bean, sweetie." The latter let out a small laugh, he loved to whine River with all the names he already found for their baby. "And anyway, where do you think my cravings come from, eh?" She threw him a playful glare and he only smiled.

"Well, every pregnant woman has cravings at a time of her pregnancy. It just happens that yours is right now." He shrugged to prove his point, "There’s nothing wrong with having cravings."

River raised an eyebrow at it, intertwining her hand with his own on top of her small bump. "I don’t think every pregnant woman craves custard as a pasta sauce." The Doctor simply shrugged, silently acknowledging the possibility that it could very well be. River rolled her eyes, "I rather think it has to do with _your_ child and your food tastes. I entirely blame you on that part."

The Doctor snorted and she groaned slightly. Really, it shouldn’t even be allowed to have cravings for those sorts of food. She didn’t know how the Doctor could stand those foods on a daily basis, but at least she could realise that the food she craved right now were a _no no_ on a daily basis. She really hoped their child would not take on his food habit, she really hoped this craving experience was a way to taste what was good and what wasn’t, her cravings being the _wasn’t_ part.

Tracing the shape of her jaw with a delicate finger, the Doctor grinned, "Well, you have to admit it’s still pretty good." He stated with a small laugh and River could only groan.

"My brain tends to think so." She grunted, annoyed by her own thoughts. "Pick anything disgusting, _anything_ ," She waved her hand in the air before placing it back on his own, "Because I will like it, I’ll get attracted to the most horrendous thing and I will like it. That’s for sure."

The Doctor chuckled, shaking his head playfully. He stroked a thumb over her bump and smiled at the feel of it underneath his hand. There was a defined bump now, most often hidden underneath loose tops, River’s choice. Clothes that clung to her skin were making her feel like she had simply put ten pounds rather that looking pregnant, those were her words.

Even though he told her she was beginning to look more pregnant, she continued to call it fat and blamed it on her stop of morning sickness, which she was very glad of, but also on the cravings taking its place and making her eat constantly.

But he could see it, her lower abdomen peeking out under her clothes. Maybe he was the only one to see it, the only one close enough to actually examine it. He could see the change, more that River, he thought. She had no distance with her body, she couldn’t see it change before her eyes, but he could. And he saw that defined bump. And he was loving it.

"Like," He was broken out of his thought as River spoke up. "I have this awful craving of carrot cake and I don’t even know why because the thought ‘carrot cake’ never ever crossed my mind before and now it does and it’s disturbing." She groaned after a second and nuzzled her face against his thigh, looking up at him.

"Well, I like it." The Doctor snorted.

River rolled her eyes, "I bet you do."

She chuckled for an instant and made a small noise of exhaustion in the back of her throat. No more than a week ago the mere thought of food repulsed her and now it was the only thing she could think of. Hormones were really a wild thing.

The Doctor’s hand left her abdomen to trickle down her side, making her twitch at the tickling spot. He caressed her side softly through the material of her t-shirt. "What do you say of a cheesecake but with real cheese instead of that cream cheese, eh?" He said with a grin and River groaned in agreement, being 100% okay with trying this out. What was happening to her?

"We absolutely need to find that. Surely it exists somewhere." She was practically licking her lips as the thought passed her mind.

The Doctor could only chuckle. "Oh, it does. On several planets actually. There are even some that specialised on cheesecakes, those planets being of course human colonies, French ones I would say."

River made a small sound on contentment in the back of her throat, deciding that they should absolutely go and visit those wonderful planets.

"What about caramel and banana ice cream?" He pondered the thought, trying out his favourite mix. Not that surprisingly, River hummed and looked up at him to see the grin on his face. He was totally playing with her, and testing the waters for what could be _the_ moment he would make her discover what great dishes meant.

Seeing his grin, River groaned and shook her head, "Urgh, why are you giving me all of those wonderful ideas? It’s making me hungry now." She playfully slapped his chest but he caught her hand in his own, bringing it to his lips. River rolled her eyes but still smile softly at the gleam in his eyes.

"This is probably my best chance to make you discover my great tastes in food, which, frankly, are too underrated." He chuckled.

River grumbled with a pout but a third voice interrupted them in their conversation. "I’m sorry, did I just hear the words ‘great tastes’ coming from the Doctor’s mouth?"

They both turned their head in the direction of the threshold to see Rory leaning against it, a questioning look in his eyes.

River giggled, "I’m suddenly beginning to crave what the Doctor loves to eat and I’m finding this a bit disturbing."

"Oi!" The man exclaimed and she looked up at him, throwing him a grin that made him roll his eyes. "Don’t say this as if it was traumatising! You’re the one eating them, and you’re liking them. I’m just glad our child decided that my taste in food was good and worth of trying. Because, of course, it is." He said with pride.

River snorted in response, "Well, of course she’s going to like what you eat, you’re a child yourself."

The Doctor gasped at that, looking down at her. "First, I’m not a child, and second, _she_?" He gaped at her for a second before closing his mouth into a pout. "Riv, we don’t know yet. Don’t make assumptions. If you do I’ll start making some."

River brought her hand up to remove the pout from his face. "I’m not," She said, dropping her hand to play with the buttons of his shirt. "I mean," She lifted her eyes to him, "I can’t very well keep on calling our child an _it_ or _they_. Because it’s weird." She shrugged and pursed her lips together.

The Doctor pondered the thought for a second but there was still a frown knitting his brows. "You’re still assuming it’s going to be a girl, though." He said, pointing a finger at her face that she slapped away. "It’s not fair, you can’t do that."

"I’m not," She played absentmindedly with the hem of his shirt. "I’m just thinking scientifically." She gave him a smirk but the Doctor continued to frown. 

"She’s right, you know." Rory spoke up from the door, River glanced at him, sharing a smile with him.

Looking back at the Doctor, she saw his frown had deepened as he looked back and forth between the two of them. His gaze settled on River at last and he squinted his eyes at her, searching for maybe an inside joke with her father, but he saw none. River could only hide her smile.

Relenting, the Doctor looked back at Rory, "Why?"

"You really don’t know?" River asked and her questioning tone made him look back down at her. "You’re the Doctor and you really don’t know?" He looked at her, trying to decipher what was the answer to this question, but she gave him nothing. He was really lost. So, he shook his head. River snorted, "Alright then, ask the real doctor here." She said, pointing to her father at the threshold.

The Doctor huffed and slapped her thigh playfully, she shrieked with a laughter which evolved into a giggle when he placed his hand on her most ticklish side.

Rory rolled his eyes at their childishness but spoke up nonetheless, "Doctor, before a foetus develops a gender it’s always a girl. It’s much later that the change is made and that it either become a boy or a girl. For the moment, your baby is a girl."

River nodded and looked back at the Doctor. The frown disappeared from his face and he huffed after an instant, "I knew that, of course."

"You _didn’t._ " River laughed and the Doctor rolled his eyes, having the decency to blush. Well, now he knew. He wasn’t _always_ supposed to know everything. "Anyway, I’m not assuming anything when I say she, I’m just making it more human than _it_ , you know."

The Doctor hummed, "Still, it’s always funny to call _her_ bean or little shrimp."

River snorted with a roll of the eyes. This was a name they had joked on at the beginning of her pregnancy. Now she was certain their baby didn’t look much like a shrimp anymore. At least she hoped.

While she’d been suffering through her morning sickness, the Doctor had decided on a game to play, its goal was to find the most ridiculous names for their baby. They’d found bean and little shrimp, and one time he called her the smallest of sea horses and it had made her laugh for the whole day. There was this one time she’s dreamt of being pregnant of a tyrannosaurus rex and the Doctor had told her it was because his chin made him look like a dinosaur, but she laughed it off, and kissed his chin afterwards. She really hoped their child wouldn’t look like a dinosaur.

"Alright," Her father’s voice broke her out of her thought. She saw him approaching the couch with the TV remote in hand. "Make some room for me before Amy arrives and claims the couch. I’m not sitting in this bloody armchair once again."

River straightened from her lying position, sitting straight on the couch and nuzzling against the Doctor’s side. Rory sat next to her with a sigh and a sound of contentment after finally being able to go through a movie night somewhere else than in the armchair.

Bringing her closer, the Doctor wrapped an arm around River’s shoulders and pulled her closer, placing a soft kiss at the crown of her head. She made a small sound of contentment in the back of her throat, rounding an arm around his waist and seeking his warmth.

Not long after, Amy entered the room with a bucket of popcorn in hands. Her eyes zoomed in on the people on the couch and the smile she previously had on her face fell, Rory’s beaming smile didn’t help much. Huffing, she directed her eyes to the armchair where she reluctantly sat. "Alright then," She said with a somewhat glare in the eyes, "I guess I’ll keep the popcorn to myself."

"No." River whined, and of course she would be the one the whine. The Doctor snorted beside her. It was funny how River’s hormones could make her look like him, being quite a child to some things. 

Chuckling slightly, he brought her closer and whispered something in her ear, "What about popcorn but cheese flavoured, eh?" He half laughed and grinned at River’s reaction because even he didn’t find the combination that good.

She groaned and nodded her approvement, making him smirk. He thought this little game would be more fun on his part than hers, but he was already loving it. 

At the corner of his eyes, he saw Amy groan but for whole different reasons. "Urgh, I don’t want to witness your dirty talk. Not in front of my eyes, uh-uh."

River blushed and pressed her lips together, because, at that point she could even call it dirty talk herself. Rory rolled his eyes by her side and spoke up faintly, "If only it was, if only…"

The Doctor burst out laughing and River’s cheeks reddened even more. She hid her face into the Doctor’s shoulder, because, really, this craving thing was getting out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun chapter where the main protagonists are being childish. Well, isn't that the everyday life for the Doctor?
> 
> Chapter title by The Neighbourhood with 'Sweater Weather'.


	9. I Am Short of Breath, Standing Next to You

— 12 weeks pregnant —

The Doctor and River were sitting side by side on uncomfortable chairs in the gynaecological area of the maternity wing of the Sisters of the Infinite Schism. They were, in a simpler explained way, waiting for their appointment with their doctor. Well, River’s doctor.

They had chosen for a real hospital to take care of River through her pregnancy, not that the Doctor or the TARDIS were unable to provide the care, and the monitors, and all the technology needed, but there was only much they could do.

It even was the Doctor that had agreed on seeing real specialists, even though he was the Doctor and it still bruised his ego to acknowledge so, he wasn’t the expert on pregnancies and felt much better with River in good hands.

Obviously, they had chosen the Sisters as their hospital. River was beginning to think that she was seeing this hospital more than it was allowed, but this time it was different, much more different. It was funny how hospitals worked, one wing was for the greatly wounded and surgical _stuffs_ , the other was for bringing life into the world.

She rather liked the latter better.

Although this wing of the hospital was much more welcoming than the surgery one, she still had flashbacks coming here, more than a year and a half ago, for totally different reason she preferred not think about.

The walls of the waiting room were painted a light shade of yellow and photographs adorned the walls in a multitude of scenes from a baby’s life, and from the mother belly’s life. She squinted her eyes at those particular photographs, analysing them thoroughly.

Was this what she was going to look like at the term of her pregnancy? A whale, a pregnant whale. She doubted she would look like the beaming pregnant woman pictured on each wall. She was rather aiming for fat, ugly and tired pregnant woman herself. Anything other than that would put a smile on her face, but she couldn’t fool herself. She was totally going to resemble a big blue whale.

And was that what her body looked like from the inside? That was… at the same time weird and disturbing. She diverted her gaze from the walls and looked around her where other women were waiting like her.

Some were humans, some hybrid, and was that a mermaid? Didn’t mermaid lay eggs? She’d have to ask Shari about that, she was more informed than her. And well, first, she’d have to tell her she was actually pregnant herself. 

A thing that stroke her was that every single woman around her looked heavily pregnant, even ready to pop for some. She didn’t really look the part with her small bump concealed underneath her loose top. And thanks god stretchy jeans had been invented, it was probably the last jeans of hers that still fitted and she didn’t know how to feel about that. Her bump wasn’t even noticeable yet, well it actually was but her loose tops still hid the secret, she found it unfair to already have to swap to maternity clothes. She could very well wear leggings or nothing at all, it didn’t bother her. Although, it might bother her parents in the house, _only_ her parents.

Swapping to maternity clothes was at the same time thrilling and saddening. It meant she was finally showing her rounding bump, but it was also bye-bye to her nice body.

Plus, she didn’t really want to look like a whale. Looking pregnant and sexy while pregnant was good. Looking like a whale ready to pop not so much.

She really hoped she wouldn’t become a whale. She has had that dream the other night, that was after the dinosaur one, but it was even more disturbing. She was actually becoming a whale and was starting to emit sounds like the whales did and she could clearly understand them, as if she was one of thei—

The Doctor’s hand on her thigh broke her out of her thoughts and she blinked at her surroundings. She glanced at him. "Stop it," He said in a whisper but had a soft smile on his lips, "I’m the one supposed to be all fidgety."

She realised she’d been stomping her foot on the floor out of anxiousness and stopped abruptly, pursing her lips into an embarrassed look. "Sorry." She whispered and leaned back against the chair, sighing.

She felt the Doctor take her hand resting on her lap, intertwining their fingers together. He leaned closer, "What’s wrong?"

"Nothing," She shook her head slightly and traced the lines of his fingers absentmindedly. After a few seconds she sighed, looking back at him. He gave her an expectant purse of the lips and she pressed her own together, leaning into him, "What if I look like a whale in a few months?"

Snorting, the Doctor squeezed her hand tight. "Is that what you’re afraid of?" The crease in her brows was an answer altogether, he rolled his eyes, scooting closer to whisper, "Then, I’ll love you even more." She gave him a look of horror and it made him chuckle, bringing her closer for a kiss at her temple. "Plus," He said with a small laugh and River knew that it meant he was going to say something stupid. "Do you even know how large whales are? They’re enormous! And they weigh tons. No," He shook his head, "At the most you’ll look like a tiny air balloon."

River gasped, slapping his thigh for his words. He squeaked through a laugh and everyone in the room turned their head to them.

Detangling herself from him, she crossed her arms over her chest and looked the other way, intending to make him know how angry she was at him. "I hate you, you’re so mean."

The Doctor laughed, bringing her closer even though she groaned when he did so. "You don’t." She huffed under her breath and he tugged her closer to him, dropping tiny kisses at the crown of her head to be forgiven. "You look beautiful either way."

"Well, thank you." She snorted with a roll of her eyes but relented in his arms. She feared she really was going to look like a whale and the Doctor was going to love it. After a few seconds of silence, she leaned against him and lifted her head to his level. "Are you eager?"

Looking down, he nodded quickly with a broad smile, "Very." He pressed his lips to her forehead and she sighed contently. She wondered if their degree of intimacy was allowed in presence of certain species, well the one seated opposite them was looking at them like an outraged governess. She didn’t really care.

Taking his hand back in her own, she squeezed it tight.

She was also very eager to see what her baby looked like. Finally able to see what was floating inside of her womb. She’s thought of the ultrasound before, many _many_ times. Even with her knowledge of the 51st century, the notion of seeing what was inside of her, the person rather, was surreal to her. It was, she thought, certainly going to make things even more real. 

And then, they would be able to show her parents her ultrasound, she could already feel the pride emanating from her. _We did that_. Life was ridiculous but it was also magical, and this was the magical part. The best of parts.

They would also be able to start telling every of their friends, they had decided to break the news after the ultrasound, they wanted to have this moment only to them. Maybe it was selfish, but for the moment their baby was only their, the little secret, kept warm in her belly.

But she was still eager to reveal the news, she wanted to see the people's face at the news. She absolutely wanted to see Shari’s face at the news. Her friend would probably scream, knowing her, and then she would make jokes about their sex life. She hadn’t been her roommate for nothing. And then, she would scream even more when she’d tell her she had decided for her to be the godmother. She could already picture the situation, it put a smile on her face.

"Mrs Song?" River was broken out of her thoughts at the sound of her name spoken up. She looked up to see a cat doctor waiting for her at the threshold of her door.

She murmured a small yes and stood up, the Doctor close behind. Clasping his hand in her own, she made her way to the doctor’s office. She had to say, she felt quite anxious, eager but anxious.

"Mr Song, I presume." The cat doctor asked when they arrived at the door and the Doctor nodded without a second thought. River hid a smile at the name, it wasn’t often that she heard her husband been called by her name, even thought she was practically sure every single nurse and doctor at this hospital knew who the Doctor was.

She liked that, they knew who he was but right now he wasn’t anyone. He was just River’s husband, she was the one the doctors were interesting in knowing. They respected their privacy and that was what she liked in here.

River took a look at the office when they passed the door, it was simple and white, as probably every single hospital office. But there was this atmosphere, one of life and happiness, it nearly made her smile. As in the waiting room, there were various photographs on the wall, documenting stages of a woman’s pregnancy.

She couldn’t dwell much on the pictures as the doctor ushered them into chairs in front of the desk. They both sat in silence, the Doctor still holding her hand tight, and she thought it was better than not because if not she would surely be wringing her hands into knots. 

The doctor sat opposite them and began to rearrange papers on her desk. She put glasses on her nose and River suddenly wondered if cats had the need to wear glasses or if it was only to look more doctor-y. Or maybe it was to make them feel more at home, she didn’t know.

Through the silence of the room, the cat doctor looked at some files with an engrossed look. River threw a glance at the Doctor, he squeezed her hands in return and gave her a soft smile.

"So, River," The doctor finally spoke up, laying the papers on her desk and giving her full attention to them. "Can I call you River? I think that we’re going to see quite of each other in the next couple of weeks and months so we should at least remove the distance between us, eh?" River nodded without a word and the doctor gave her a grateful smile. "Alright, so as you know I’m Doctor Swan and I’m going to be your doctor through your pregnancy and the delivery, and the months afterwards." She chuckled a bit to herself and River could only nod in agreement, feeling quite like a shy girl under the gaze of her doctor.

Well, maybe it was because she was.

"This is your first pregnancy, right?" River nodded and she caught her Doctor nodding too. It made her lips twitch in a smile, he was as anxious as her. "And have you had any ultrasound before?"

"No." She spoke up, shaking her head slightly. They had preferred to wait for the doctor’s appointment to make the ultrasound, even though they could do one very easily with the TARDIS. They had decided that the TARDIS was there only if something sudden happened, in which case they would use it.

"Alright, then," Doctor Swan said while nodding in her doctor-y way. She stood up and rounded the desk, walking to the opposite side of the room. "Come with me, I’ll examine you and look at what’s inside your belly." She chuckled slightly at her own joke, River’s lips twitched into a smile. She stood up and lifted the Doctor by the hand. "The husband can come too, obviously."

River and the Doctor followed the cat doctor into the other side of the room that was slightly hidden by a separating screen. This side of the room had a different atmosphere, the lights were slightly dimmed and the ambient feel warmer. There was an examination bed in the middle and next to it was all sorts of monitors with screens.

"Alright, River, you sit there." Doctor Swan said, patting the bed as she sat on a stool next to the machines. "And the husband can take the stool there in a corner and bring it closer." She pointed her finger to the corner of the room with her eyes still fixed on the machine. The Doctor brought the seat clumsily next to River’s bad as the later lay on the bed, placing her arms over her stomach as she shyly waited for directions. "Just let me get the settings to human," The doctor spoke up and River sensed she had a fine sense of humour. "With all the species coming and going, we lose tracks of what’s what."

River glanced up at the Doctor with a small smile. He scooted closer, leaning against the bed as he took own of her hand in his own to place a tiny kiss inside her palm. Her lips pursed into a smile, she placed their entwined hands over her left heart, making him feel how rapidly it was beating. He smiled and bent over to kiss her eyelid.

"Okay," Said Doctor Swan at last, she turned her stood to them. "Alright, so, can you lift your top for me River. And, uhm, unbutton your jeans also, I think that’ll be better."

River did as told, lifting her top to the limit of her bra and unbuttoning the last of jeans that could still be buttoned. She placed her hands underneath her chest and the Doctor placed his own there too, the other finding its way at the base of her neck, playing softly with the small hair there.

"It’s a small bump we’ve got there." The doctor commented after bringing her stool closer.

"Is it?" River asked with a frown, unsure of herself.

Doctor Swan hummed as she took the bottle of gel in hand. "Yes, but it’s not unusual, especially with the first pregnancy. I’ll tell you, every woman has a different bump during the pregnancy and yours is perfectly fine. It’s the fact that the body is not yet used to this quite enormous change. It takes a bit of time for it to understand fully what’s happening, there’s nothing to worry about, really." The doctor’s word put her worries at rest. "Careful, it’s cold."

Without warning, the doctor spilled some gel onto River’s stomach and she startled slightly because _it was_ cold. She cast an amused glance to the Doctor and he squeezed her hand tight.

"Alright, let’s see what we’ve got." She brought the ultrasound probe to River’s stomach and both River and the Doctor’s gaze turned to the black screen.

It suddenly turned to a black and white image as the doctor pressed the probe into River’s belly. River felt her hearts beating wildly inside her chest as Doctor Swan moved the probe slowly over her stomach, searching for the little something they were all waiting for.

"Ah!" The doctor made a sound at the back of her throat and pressed the probe at a certain place. "Look," She zoomed in on the screen and River felt her hearts lurch inside her ribcage, she was aware of the grip of the Doctor on her hand and placed her other hand over his. The doctor pointed her finger to a small figure and she zoomed once again. "Here it is." She traced the small shape with her finger. "Here’s your baby."

River opened her mouth slightly, letting out a breath of awe. In front of her, on that ridiculously tiny screen, was her baby, the baby inside of her womb. The Doctor squeezed her hand tight and she broke her gaze away from the screen to look at him. His eyes were transfixed on the screen and he looked down at her with the biggest look of wonder she’d ever seen on his face. He beamed at her before resettling his gaze on the screen.

"Let me zoom in some more." The doctor spoke up, after seconds of silence. "At this stage, your baby is a little more than two inches and that is quite tiny." She zoomed some more and they now had a clear view of their baby, its figure taking most of the screen.

River let out a bubbly laugh at the sight of her baby, floating in its amniotic fluid with not a care in the world. It was magical. She brought a hand to her mouth, biting her nails slightly as the sight mesmerised her.

"Look," Doctor Swan pointed to the screen, "You can see the little hands and the fingers already moving, you can’t feel it yet but it’s there already, the little fluttering. And good news, your baby appears to have the good enough number of fingers and toes for a human. Ten fingers, ten toes. That’s great." She chuckled slightly and River smiled. "And you can clearly see the head," She said, circling the shape of it. "It looks much bigger than the rest of the body but it’s perfectly normal, got all of that knowledge to go somewhere."

River’s eyes stayed transfixed on the screen. She couldn’t feel it but now she saw the baby inside of her womb, she could see it move. It felt so surreal, there was actually someone living and moving inside of her, and she was only now realising that.

"And this," She spoke up, her voice slightly trembling, pointing to the chest of her baby, "Is that the hearts?"

Doctor Swan nodded, "Oh, yes. The two fluttering organs in the ribcage are the two hearts. See how quickly it’s beating."

"Two hearts…" The Doctor whispered faintly and she looked up at him to see a glimmer in the eyes. He had a broad smile on his face and she saw his eyes flicker with tears at the light of the lamp. She caressed his hand clasped over her own.

"Yes," Doctor Swan said, "You can listen to it if you want." They both nodded and with a press of a button the room suddenly filled with the sound of two rapid beating hearts. "Two baby’s hearts, it makes a lot of noise."

River suddenly felt an overwhelming wave of emotion rushing through her. It felt so real, she was finally grasping the fact that _she was pregnant_ , there was a baby inside of her, _her_ baby. With two strong beating hearts and already the fidgeting of her father.

She felt tears slipping past her temples and looked at the Doctor with a beaming smile. He gazed at her with such awe and with a gleam in the eyes, she knew he was as awestruck as her. "That’s our baby." She whispered softly, he nodded with a bubbly laugh. He bent down to catch her lips with his own and she brought her hand to his cheek, smiling softly.

When he straightened up, he brushed at the hair at the nape of her neck and she removed her fallen tears with the back of her hand. Leaning on the bed, he held his chin in his palm, looking at the screen as if mesmerised by it. His other hand was tenderly stroking River’s jaw as her eyes were too transfixed on the screen. The thought of watching her baby for hours on end was quite a good idea for River, she was sure she would not grow bored for an instant.

"Well, I’m sure you’ll want some pictures of your baby." Doctor Swan spoke up after leaving them their intimacy for a few minutes. The both nodded in unison, their gazes not leaving the screen.

"River," The Doctor whispered after a few seconds. He looked down at her and she met his gaze after a second, he smiled brightly, "We made a baby."

She let out a bubbly laugh and nodded, "We did."

He leaned into her, placing his forehead on top of hers, and laying soft kisses on her brows. She sighed deeply, bringing a hand in to his hair and closing her eyes. _They did make a baby_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought of this chapter, this is one of my favourites!
> 
> Chapter title by Sleeping At Last with 'Heart'.


	10. Nobody Else Can Take Me Higher

— 14 weeks pregnant —

River sat back down on her bed with a groan of frustration. She was still in her pyjama top and thought it was the only piece of clothing she liked right now. 

She had given up on buttoning her jeans out of frustration. There was no need for trying, they didn’t fit her anymore. The fight had been rough, she’d wriggled in every position possible, hopped on her two feet but then stopped because it was making her dizzy, she’d groaned and grunted, she even thought tears might have risen in her eyes at one point. But then, she gave up. There was no need, the buttons had no will to meet their holes.

The two ends of her jeans gaped open. And the worst was, seated in this position with her small bump in front of her, she couldn’t even glare at them, she couldn’t even see them behind her bump. Oh dear, it was already beginning.

She was getting fat.

Sighing deeply, she dropped her hands by her side, swatting at the mattress out of irritation and jutting her lower lip into a pout. So, here she was, fat at last. She couldn’t fit in any of her normal clothes and even if she could it was very uncomfortable. With t-shirts riding up and jeans pressing into her bladder, she’d had enough of that. If only she could wear her pyjamas for the whole time of her pregnancy, she would be delighted by that. But also a bit depressed, there was nothing more depressing than wearing your pyjamas all day, and night… and week.

Making a small sound of frustration at the back of her throat, she resented not having bought maternity clothes sooner. It was on the list of things to do, it really was, but there were so many things to think of right now and she’d placed it at quite a low point on her list, thinking she might have had just a smidge more time with that problem.

Apparently not.

Apparently, she hadn’t had the time to see her body change and apparently now everything was too small or tight, or riding up, or whatever the problem. Bad point to that was that now she didn’t have any fitting clothes. Well, alright, she did have those awfully old leggings, the ones totally unflattering and squeezing in on all or your fat bits. Those were even worse.

Or she could just borrow the Doctor’s clothes, she wasn’t even sure if her butt would fit in them. She preferred not to know. She really needed those maternity clothes.

She was actually really looking forward to wearing maternity clothes, it was a step closer to having her baby and she had to say, she was already gushing over this fact. Her bump was finally beginning to get noticed as something else than a big fancy meal, thank you very much, and she absolutely loved touching it, as if she was touching a real person beneath her hand. The Doctor was also delighted by her growing bump, not repressing himself from touching it and being too engrossed in it that it made her laugh. Her parents respected her privacy better, not that she didn’t like the Doctor’s hands on her, not at all, but they were equally delighted in their own way. In a certain grand-parent’s way that was both oddly charming and _weird_.

This was the good side. The bad side was that it was not only her belly which had grown and rounded but also her thighs, and breasts, and she did have to admit that even without the bump her stomach wasn’t as firm as before. There were some things she didn’t mind, some others she _did_ mind.

That being that none of her clothes fitted her anymore.

With a sigh, she looked down at her bump. She had just entered her second trimester and she was simply delighted by it. It had by far been the best two weeks of her pregnancy. Morning sickness were a thing of the past and she was having a sudden burst of energy, and well, a burst of libido too. She wasn’t the one complaining, nor was the Doctor.

It was more for her parents’ sake that she had the decency to blush.

The Doctor had told them that he would soundproof their room for the baby’s arrival. They didn’t really have the choice but to endure the baby’s cries, but at least they could gift her parents some calm and peace. But River was beginning to think that the Doctor wanted that soundproofing first and foremost to avoid the awkward mornings around the table, the two of them blushing like teenagers and the parents glaring for their lack of sleep.

It wouldn’t even surprise her.

Placing her hand over her clothed bump, River smiled. It was warm underneath her hand, a sign of growing life. She caressed it tenderly, it was a thing she liked to do, it was motherly, _she was_ motherly. She could feel it.

But well, it didn’t remove the fact that her jeans had irritated her like mad this morning. She was very eager to get out of them.

Standing up, she wriggled out of them, struggling at the thighs and _oh dear_ , she’d gotten fat from everywhere. Pilling them on the floor, she went to search for a decent legging inside of her wardrobe. Hopefully, there was some.

Slipping them on, she struggled at the hips and weren’t leggings supposed to stretch? That was just plain hurtful right there. Even leggings were saying no on her. Did that mean she would have to put on maternity leggings?

Grunting in frustration, she plopped back down on the bed and exhaled a deep breath. She was definitely fat. She wanted to look pregnant, not fat. _Urgh_ , this was so irritating.

She dropped her chin to her chest and suddenly, and quite out of the blue, the symptoms of her pregnancy that she had the least expected arrived at that moment. Mood swings.

Her eyes began to water and she huffed in frustration. Good, everything she had needed. Why was this making her cry? There was nothing to cry about, but she was just so irritated. And the fact that her irritation made tears come to her eyes irritated her even more, so tears came flowing.

Grunting, she looked at the ceiling to stop the flow of tears. There wasn’t even a good reason for her to cry, but she did nonetheless. She tried to take a deep breath but it came out as shaky and she let out a small whimper.

She looked back straight ahead, groaning at her lack of control over her emotions. Blinking back the tears from her eyes, she wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand, removing any wetness from it. This was really an awful sight, she was crying for _nothing_.

But then, the door of her bedroom suddenly opened and she groaned to herself. "River, there you are. I was searching for you for the—" The Doctor stopped his sentence, "River?" Groaning once again, she brushed at her eyes, trying to remove the tears from them. But it was no use, her eyes were surely red and swollen now. She saw him approach her gingerly and she placed her hands before her eyes. "River, what’s wrong?"

She shook her head through her hands, "Nothing. Go away." But he stepped closed and kneels at her feet. _Oh great now_. Slowly, he took her hands in his own and removed them from her face. She dropped her eyes to her chest as he brushed the tears and jutted her lower lip into a pout. "I’m just _fat_."

"What? Where did you get that idea?" The Doctor lifted her chin up to look at him, she saw a frown creasing his brows.

She shrugged faintly, her gaze falling down. "I just am." With a sigh, she waved her hands at herself, "None of my clothes fit me anymore."

The Doctor chuckled softly and stroked her cheeks, she looked up at him at last. "River, honey, you’re pregnant. You’re not fat, you’re just pregnant, it’s totally normal for your body to change.You’re carrying a human being inside of you, so of course you’re going to gain some weight, but it doesn’t mean you’re fat. Not at all."

River nodded slightly. Well, he wasn’t wrong. It was funny how, said from the Doctor’s mouth, the words were so much clearer and help much more meaning. Maybe it was because he was good with words, maybe it was because her mind was very hard to listen to itself. Well, that was another problem here.

"You know what," He smiled, "We’ll go shopping this afternoon if you want. We take the TARDIS, only the two of us, eh?" River nodded slightly. "I don’t want to see you like that, Riv. You don’t have to feel ashamed of your body, never, and even less while you’re pregnant."

Slowly, River nodded. She sniffled with a purse of her lips. The Doctor’s eyes told her that she didn’t need to worry, especially not about that. It felt good, being reassured. The Doctor always knew what she needed, and for that she loved him even more. And oh dear, was that a new wave of tears coming in? _Urgh_ , those damn emotions.

"Oh, River…" The Doctor brought her into his arms and she clung to his shoulders, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck. No matter what, he always knew what she needed. And right now, this was what she needed. He brought a hand to her hair and kissed her temple multiple times.

When he drew back after a few seconds, he brushed locks of hair from her face with a smile. "So, what do you say we make that cake from the planet we talked about the other day. I was searching for you about it. Do it with me please," He gave her a goofy smile and she rolled her eyes. "Amy won’t let me use the kitchen if I’m not _supervised_ by you."

River chuckled at that. Well, she wasn’t even surprised. Alright, so, she wanted to bake that cake but she didn’t want to become even fatter. Maybe she wasn’t right now but if he continued with that food talk she would become. But she _wanted_ that cake.

"River, you’re not fat." He said, as if reading her mind. Maybe she had spoken out loud, it wouldn’t surprise her at that point. The Doctor threw her a smile before bending down to place a kiss on her small belly. He looked back up at her with a bright smile and leaned against her to peck her lips tenderly. "Come on." He stood up and lifted her from the bed in the process.

She groaned, disrupted in her peaceful habitat but let him lead her outside of the room by the hand. She chuckled lightly and stopped him in the middle of the corridor with a hand on his arm. "Wait, I have to pee."

He snorted, while letting go of her hand. "Alright," he leaned into her for another peck on the lips that she gladly accepted. "Meet me downstairs."

—

River walked down the stairs and to the kitchen where the Doctor was waiting for her. She smiled at his sight, approaching him gingerly. His back was to her as he was currently searching for something on the shelves. He was making a right mess, muttering nonsense under his breath.

Walking on her tiptoes towards him, a grin made its way on her face as an idea crossed her mind. Leaning infinitely closer to him, she wove her arms around his torso, pressing herself against his back and nuzzling her face to his clothed back.

He started slightly at her touch and she let out a soft chuckle, rubbing her cheek against his back with contentment. His shirt was rough against her cheek but it smelled like him and made her want to inhale his scent all day long.

"River…" He trailed off, but she could hear the small laugher in his voice. She tightened her grip around his torso and hummed, letting out a small sound of contentment in the back of her throat.

With a chuckle, he turned around in her arms and leaned against the countertop, bringing her to his chest as he placed his hands on her hips. She smiled up at him, placing her arms around his neck and playing softly with the hair at the nape of his neck. Her bump could still allow them to have some sort of privacy, meaning they could still do the full body hugs, a thing she knew she wouldn’t be able to do in quite little of time.

So, she pressed herself closer, enjoying the moment while she could. The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "You look better." He said, stroking the small of her back with delicate fingers.

She smiled with a nod, perching herself at his neck. "Yes," A smirk escaped her lips, she leaned closer, it made the Doctor arch an eyebrow as he tightened his grip on her hips. "Can’t help it, it’s the hormones."

Her smile was smug and she thought the Doctor’s eyebrow could not be higher on his face. A grin broke on his face and he leaned closer, their noses nearly touching. "Oh, is it?"

She hummed, rising on her tiptoes. Their lips met and a small sound of contentment escaped her mouth. He hummed into the kiss, opening his mouth under hers and dropping his hands to her bum, bringing her closer with a firm grip on each cheek.

She giggled softly, dropping her hands to his jaw to deepen the kiss.

"Oh, for heaven’s sake." A third voice interrupted and they both rolled their eyes while they were still closed. They broke away from the kiss slowly, their eyes blinking open to see Amy standing at the door with what looked like a raised eyebrow. They had the decency to be slightly embarrassed of being caught like that.

River placed her head on the Doctor’s chest, smiling at her mother. The latter rolled her eyes.

"I said not in the kitchen. Not in any public place, really. We did establish that the kitchen _was_ a public place." She sighed as if sighing for her children’s disobedience, in a way she was. "Out of my sight, eh. You already have a baby on the way, you don’t need to continue to be all smoochy."

River giggled. The Doctor muttered under his breath that this was not how it worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy anniversary to my two favourite person in the world!   
> I hope you liked this short chapter, my favourite kind of River is the insecure River!
> 
> Chapter title by Imagine Dragons with 'Tiptoe'.


	11. I See What You're Wearing, There's Nothing Beneath It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of smut for you all because this is what we all want. ;)
> 
> Chapter title by Zedd with 'Beautiful Now'.

— 15 weeks pregnant —

River woke up with a gasp, her chest heaving with every breath she took. Her eyes blinked open in the dark and she let out a trembling breath, trying to make light of what just happened.

She felt her body tingle all over and placed a hand on her bump, stroking it slowly as she came out of her dream state. After a few seconds, she realised the tingling wasn’t coming from her belly but rather from between her legs. And now that she was thinking about it, she quite knew the sensation.

Looking up at the ceiling, she frowned slightly. Did she just…? During her sleep?

The familiar ache between her legs was a proof of what just happened in her dreams. Rubbing her thighs together, she had no doubt of her state, she was soaking wet. _Oh dear_ , this was something new.

If she closed her eyes again, she could still see some images of her dream. It was vivid in her memory and she felt the dull ache coming back. She took a small intake of breath, clenching her thighs together and trying to repress a moan from leaving her lips.

A small chuckle beside her broke her out of her thoughts. She turned her face to the sound to see the Doctor turned on his side, his cheek against his palm and eyes shining in the dark, proof that he was awake. She felt a slight blush creeping up her face, being caught in this situation.

"Did I wake you up?" She asked, her voice hoarse from sleep, and other things.

"Yeah," He trailed off, but there was no resent in his voice, it looked rather more like he was laughing at his own joke. His grin grew even more, "And what a way to be awaken." He whispered with a faint chuckle.

River frowned, aware that he couldn’t see her confusion in the dark.

"Let me tell you, it’s a first." He snorted. "I wake up half hard and aroused. I look at you and hear you moaning and making _those_ noises, writhing in bed. And it’s only after a few minutes that I realise you’re not setting you off on your own but you’re _asleep_." He chuckled to himself and she could practically see him shaking his head in disbelief. "You succeeded in arousing yourself and me on the way, while asleep. That’s _amazing_." He finished his rant with a short laugh and River felt a blush reddening her cheeks in the dark. "I’ve got to say, this is one of my best awakening."

With an impulse she didn’t even understood, River pushed the Doctor onto his back and straddled him, sitting on his stomach and placing her hands on his chest. He looked up at her with a surprised expression. She’d bemused herself. "That’s the first time I’ve had an orgasm because of a wet dream. That’s… surprisingly weird."

The Doctor let out a breath, his hands finding their way to her hips. "And that’s as surprising for you as it is for me."

She bent down, catching his lips with her own into a lazy kiss. Her mouth moved over his and he moaned slightly, gripping her hips as he felt her soaked knickers touch his naked skin where his pyjama top had ridden up.

"It’s," She pulled her mouth slightly away from his. "It’s the hormones. Every," She stopped to regain her breath. "Every sense is enhanced. I can’t really do anything about it." Her mouth returned to his and he brought one hand to her hair, the other remaining fixed to her waist as she rolled her hips over his.

He had to still her hips, dropping his hand to her thigh to grasp at something as he buckled his hips into hers. "Riv, last time you came in three minutes. That’s like," He panted. "Personal record, or- or something."

"Let’s beat that, then." She said, breaking away from his mouth. He groaned as she got off him to remove her knickers in a haste. He proceeded to wriggle out of his boxers with much less grace but it did the job.

She got back on top of him and took him in hand. They didn’t need foreplay as she was already soaking wet and so she angled him in the right position and sank into him. The Doctor let out a breath and she moaned, her mouth falling open as she braced her hands on his chest.

After a second to adjust, she began to roll her hips and let out a small moan at the sensation. The aftermath of her last orgasm had left traces in her body and she was already feeling herself clenching at her walls for release.

The Doctor felt it too and gripped at her hips, moving in rhythm. " _Fuck_ , River…" He straightened and took her in his arms as they moved in unison. She withered on top of him and brought her hands to his hair, placing her face in his neck, leaving small bits there.

She was trembling in his arms and he brought her body closer by the hips. He travelled his hands down her back and she let out small moans as she felt the heat rapidly enveloping her. She was moving her hips erratically over his and her orgasm washed over her like a powerful tingle travelling from her core to the rest of her body. It was so much more powerful than usual.

The Doctor came soon after and she laid her head on his shoulder, feeling wasted after her shattering orgasm. He brought her down with him slowly as he laid back down. She fell back on her side, placing a hand on her bump as she moved.

The Doctor rolled on his side to face her and placed a hand around her waist tiredly, scooting closer to her. A smile graced her lips and she closed her eyes, sighing in contentment. "You know," The Doctor spoke up in the silence, stroking a lazy finger down her back, "You do know you to make me tired although you did most of the work." He whispered, nuzzling his face into her hair. "The quickest of the quickie, that’s for sure."

River chuckled softly, rubbing at her stomach absentmindedly, "Not my fault." She brought a hand up to brush at the tousled hair out of his face before dropping it to his torso, making a small noise of contentment as she regained her breathing.

Travelling a hand to her bump, the Doctor stroked it tenderly. "Do you think the baby can hear and feel everything that we do?"

"Probably," River responded in a whispered. With her eyes still closed, she knew the Doctor was actually grimacing, it made her grin. "She doesn’t even know what the thing we just did is, she doesn’t know it’s what brought her in. And I’m not sure she cares, she’s got a nice swimming pool all to herself and a nice two inches wide cushion of fat to protect her from the world outside."

The Doctor snorted, humming. He placed his hand underneath River’s t-shirt, feeling the warmth emanating from the growing bump. He stroked a delicate thumb over her skin, imagining he was caressing the baby inside of her womb.

After a few minutes of silence, River groaned and stretched under the sheets. "And now’s the fun part… I have to pee."

The Doctor groaned as she left his side to stand up, the warmth and comfort of her left him too and he rolled onto his stomach, spreading out on the mattress and closing his eyes with a tired sigh. She was really wearing him out nowadays, in the best of ways, really.


	12. And She's Looking at Everybody, with a Secret Smile

— 18 weeks pregnant —

The TARDIS landed in the Pond’s backyard with its familiar noise, disturbing the silence of a dull day at Leadworth. River exited the TARDIS, waiting for the Doctor at the threshold, a big goofy grin on her lips.

"Stop it with that grin." The Doctor said, exiting the TARDIS and taking her arms as they walked to the house. She smiled up at him, leaning her head on his shoulder. "They’ll totally guess right away what we have to say and it’ll be no fun."

"Oh, come on." She tightened her grip around his arm. "I can’t help it, I am happy."

Looking down at her, he grinned, "I am too." She let out a small chuckle and looked ahead. He opened the backdoor and let her in before him. "Although, I want to see the reaction of surprise on their face. It’s so priceless."

River rolled her eyes, "It’s not that extraordinary, there’s only two choices."

"Well, you know there are some species—"

River cut him with a kiss on the cheek, "We’re not some species, sweetie." He gave her a grimace saying that _yes, of course_ and River grinned, swatting at his arm for his idiocy.

"You’re there!" Amy’s voice interrupted their little moment and they turned to her, seeing her arrive in the kitchen with the curiosity of a cat. Well, that was Amy. "So! How did it go?" She came to them, nearly bouncing on her feet. "Do you have new pictures? If you have I want to see _every each_ of them." She emphasised on the words and it made River roll her eyes slightly.

"Yes, we do." She said and couldn’t help but smile at the knowledge of her little baby’s picture. She glanced at the Doctor and at the folder he had in his hands. He raised an eyebrow at her, a sort of private talk they had with their eyes, she chuckled.

Amy grinned in response, eyeing the folder with enthusiasm.

"Amy, calm down." They looked up at Rory’s voice, coming in their direction with a faint apologetic smile for them, knowing how Amy could be when she was excited. "Let them breathe, they only just got there."

River chuckled, "It’s okay, dad." She looked up at the Doctor for his approval and he nodded at her. "And, hum," She looked back at her parents, a smile growing on her lips. "Also, we got some more news that we’d want to share with you. So, we could go to the living room, eh?"

She began to walk in its direction, her mother hot on her tails. "Some _news_? What do you mean some news?" River only grinned and her mum huffed behind her. "Oh my god, do you mean you know? Yet?" River stayed silent. The Doctor and Rory followed her in the direction of the living room. The Doctor had a smug smile on his face, well of course he did, he had what everyone wanted to see in his hands. 

Once in the living room, River sat on the couch, soon joined by her mother and husband on either side of her. Rory stood before them, slightly rocking on his feet. "So," She cleared her throat and chuckled slightly, glancing at the Doctor. He smiled at her, placing a hand around her waist. "So, apparently baby had decided to work with us today and has been very cooperative, we didn’t expect to know for a few more weeks but well… it’s a girl!"

River beamed as she unveiled the surprise and her mother screeched beside her, practically rendering her deaf. "Oh my god!"

She engulfed River into a tight embrace and she chuckled, stroking her mother’s back. She threw a glance at her father and he was smiling down at her, the smile of a proud father on his face. River felt her hearts blossom.

When Amy pulled away from the embrace, she had a beaming smile on her face. "Oh dear, a little girl! Rory we’re going to have a granddaughter." She turned her face to her husband and Rory grinned brightly, nodding at her. "A granddaughter, can you imagine that! Oh, we are so outnumbering you right now." She laughed and River couldn’t help but chuckle. It was quite true. "And oi! Rory, you owe me ten quids. I won the bet."

"What?" River looked between the two with a frown. "What bet?"

"I thought you were going to have a girl." Amy explained, "But Rory thought for a boy. So we made a bet to see who would be right. I have to say, I’ve got the eye for those kind of things." River laughed at her mother’s explanation.

She, herself, hadn’t made any suppositions on her baby’s gender. She didn’t want to like one over the other and be disappointed when she would finally discover the sex. Boy or girl, she liked both, but she was really happy to be having a girl. She would be able to give her the childhood she never had, and she could spoil her as she had never been.

But now was not the time to dwell on the things of the past.

"Come on, then." Amy bounced on the couch. "Show us the pictures, I want to see everything."

The Doctor passed the folder to River and she gave the pictures of the ultrasounds to Amy. Her mother instantly began to gush over the grainy photographs, making small sounds of awe. "Look," River pointed to one picture. "She’s sucking her thumb here." Amy did a small sound of awe in the back of her throat. River smiled, suddenly feeling very proud of the child growing inside of her. Maybe it was her mother side coming up, she liked it rather so.

"Oh, Rory look!" Amy exclaimed, showing the picture to her husband. "That is way to cute. That’s our granddaughter there."

River smiled, relaxing against the Doctor’s side. He hummed against her ear, placing his arms around her waist and his hands on her bump. "Look at them," He whispered in her ear so only her could hear. "They already look like sappy grandparents." River snorted, leaning closer to him and placing her head on his chest.

"They do." She whispered back. And she was sure they would make wonderful grandparents.  Humming, the Doctor placed a kiss on the crown of her head.

Relaxed against her husband’s chest, River watched her parents gush over the pictures and talk about her little girl’s this and that. She had a beaming smile on her face, she couldn’t help it, she was happy.

—

After spending nearly a hour downstairs to talk with her parents, River excused herself and made her way to her bedroom, already exhausted by her day. In the few months of her pregnancy, River realised a day full of emotion could actually exhaust her.

And what a day it had been. She was always looking forward to her ultrasound appointments, even though there had been only two already and she may have just one left, before delivery. It was all so surreal, she was nearly at the half of her pregnancy and she had a little more than four and a half months to go. The months were flowing by and she was only just feeling great in her body. A thing that she knew may not stay as her whole body would soon begin to look whale-y.

She’d better enjoy it now that she looked pregnant enough to be considered actually pregnant and pretty. Soon enough she won’t be able to look at her feet anymore and stand on her own. It made her shudder.

Opening the door of her bedroom, she slipped out of her shoes and lay down on her bed with a sigh. For the past four and a half months, her bed had been a cherished friend. It was funny how someone could change through a pregnancy. She didn’t know her mother instincts would kick in so quickly and she felt now happier with things that she found before like a revolting prospect. Like sleeping for a day straight without any remorse.

Chuckling slightly to herself, she placed her palm against her cheek and closed her eyes, sighing tiredly. She told herself that sleeping now was the best thing she could do, she was stocking up some sleep for the time she would not be able to anymore. The arrival of her baby would surely be the end of her sleep.

After a few minutes of silence, the door of her bedroom opened quietly and she heard the Doctor’s feet walk in. He walked a bit around the room for a second, surely putting the folder on the desk and arranging stuffs around the room. He spoke up after an instant."You okay there?"

She hummed, "Yeah, just tired." He hummed back, walking around the room, doing she didn’t know what.

After a minute, he flopped down on the bed and she groaned at the movement. A short laugh escaped him. Blinking one eye open, she realised he had removed his jacket and surely his boots too. He turned on his side to her, bringing his pillow closer and grinning goofily at her.

She smiled, chuckling softly. Taking his hand on her own, she placed it on top of her bump. "I feel little flutters sometimes." She moved his hand slowly, directing it to where she felt the last sign of her baby earlier. "It’s nearly imperceptible, even I wonder sometimes if it’s really from there that I feel the flutters." She paused, the Doctor’s flat on her belly, but she knew that he would not be able to feel it as she did. "It’s like… soft tickles. Except it’s not tickles at all because it doesn’t _tickle_." She paused with a snort. "It’s more like butterfly wings flapping inside of you. It’s so tiny, it’s strange but in the good kind of way."

She made a grimace, thinking that her explanation was no close to clear. She didn’t know how to explain the strange feelings she had inside of her, but she sure knew the Doctor understood. She felt him stroke at her belly tenderly.

"I should probably call Shari." She said after a minute of silence. "She’ll be over the moon. She’ll probably screech."

The Doctor snorted while humming. She would absolutely screech, it was nearly mandatory for Shari. River picked her phone from the nightstand and dialled Shari’s number, hoping it was a good time for her, they never really knew with Shari. Brining the phone to her ear, she saw the Doctor close his eyes beside her, his hand still on her bump.

"Hullo." A groggy voice answered at the other end of the line, River instantly recognised Shari’s voice.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" She winced.

"Uh, no. At least I don’t think you did." There was some ruffling on the phone and River frowned. She heard Shari beginning to laugh at herself, "I think I’m hungover, I’m not even sure I am really. You know how you wake up with a hungover and you can’t even remember what you did ten minutes ago, eh."

"Well, I wouldn’t know as of lately." River snorted and heard mumbling at the other end of the phone. "What even happen to you to be in this state?"

"Dunno." Shari stated with a slight slur. "‘Was at a party last night. I don’t even remember who was the host or how I even got there, well you know I have my ways. I slightly remember wanting to seduce the prince of whatever kingdom of a planet I don’t remember, so surely there’s a prince involved. So, yeah, a prince and vodka I’d say, or maybe it’s scotch. Dunno." Shari sighed loudly. "And there were jugglers."

River chuckled, "Well, I hope you get better." Shari humphed and it brought a smile on her face. "And, hum, actually," River cleared her throat. "I was calling you to tell you that we just had our second ultrasound appointment, you know, giving you some news."

"Oh really?" Shari suddenly seemed more awake and interested in their conversation. "You _absolutely_ have to send me all the cute photographs, from every angle you hear me. I want to know _everything_." River let out a soft giggle, nodding and humming. "So, tell me, how did it go?"

"Well, it went great. Everything is looking good and sh— I mean, the baby is doing very good." She winced as she blurted the news out, hoping Shari didn’t pick on it. The Doctor let out a snort beside her, opening his eyes with a laughing grin on his face.

"Totally nailed it." He whispered and she swat at his chest. He let out a squeak but closed his eyes back, the grin intent to tay on his face.

"What, sorry, didn’t pick what you said." Shari chimed in, confused.

"Nothing, nothing, sorry." River cleared her throat and glared at the Doctor’s grin, it made it grow even more and she placed her hand over his mouth, eliciting a grunt from him. "And, hum, also, we received some news, that why I’m calling you. So, hum, it was a bit of a surprise for us because we didn’t expect to have the news that soon, but uh well, we did."

"What, what news?" Shari laughed over the laugh, her curiosity peeking. "Tell me."

"Well," River smiled, "We’re having a girl."

"Oh my god!" Shari screeched over the phone, and River had to put it away from her ear with a grimace. The Doctor chuckled beside her, stroking at her belly tenderly. "Is it for real? Of course it is! I knew it was going to be a girl, I sensed it! Oh my god, that is so cool! I’ll be able to dress her and do her hair, oh god she’s going to have curly hair! That is so cute! You absolutely have to let me do her hair!"

River laughed, "Shari, it’s not a doll. Plus, I don’t think she’ll have that much hair when she’s born."

"I know, I know," Shari relented. "Still, she’s going to be beautiful. I just hope she won’t have the Doctor’s uncoordinated limbs, that would be rubbish."

The Doctor groaned beside her, "I heard that."

River laughed, "He heard that, he’s right beside me." She stroked at his hair and he let out a sleepy sigh.

"Well, hi Doc!" Shari exclaimed rather loudly.

He murmured a greetings in return and River chuckled, brushing the hair out of his eyes. "And he’s saying hi to you too."

She heard Shari giggle over the phone. "Oh Riv, now we absolutely need to go baby shopping. Tell me it’s okay now to do it, eh. Now that we know it’s a girl we have to buy her everything, just think of the cute little pink outfits and the pink plushies and everything that is pink. You know I love pink, it’s like the _best_ colour there is."

River chuckled, "I know, I know. Although, I’m not very fond of pink so we’ll have to compromise. But, well, yeah, we should totally plan a day of shopping, only girls, eh."

"Absolutely!" Shari exclaimed. Then, she sighed in contentment, "That is going to be so much fun. I’m so looking forward to be a godmother. I’ve never been one before, this is such an exciting prospect." River chuckled, humming in agreement. Suddenly, there was a loud commotion over the phone and she heard Shari mutter under her breath. "Oh shit, sorry." She said more loudly to be heard. "Gotta go. Turns out I’m actually in the prince’s bedroom and he’s no longer lost, because apparently he was lost. Yeah… shit, okay, bye! Talk to you lat—"

The line went silent and River snorted, rolling her eyes at her best friends idiocy. She dropped her phone back on her nightstand and returned to the Doctor’s side, snuggling against his warm chest.

The Doctor made a small noise of contentment in the back of his throat, scooting closer. "Please, tell me you won’t listen to Shari and buy every single pink item." He murmured and she laughed, bringing her arms around his waist.

"Trust me, I won’t. I’m not _that_ mad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name search is now open! Take a guess on the name and you'll have a cookie, such wow!
> 
> Chapter title by Hurts with 'Ready To Go'.


	13. These Moving Parts Inside of Me

— 19 weeks pregnant —

"Imagine an excited three-year-old," River stated, putting on her pyjama top and struggling slightly around the waist. "Imagine a child at a candy shop," Crawling into her bed, she leaned against the headboard, bringing her hands to her bump, stroking it absentmindedly. "That’s what she was, Shari was high on I-don’t-know-what but she was _jumping_ up and down like a child."

There was a hint of laughter in her voice and the Doctor snorted, glancing at her from the foot of the bed where he was dressing in his night clothes. "Well, it’s Shari. It’s not as if she wasn’t always like that."

"Well, yeah…" River rolled her eyes and brought her legs under the duvet. "But still, I never thought she had that in her. I mean, she can be quite excited about things, she usually is. But…" She trailed off with a sigh, rolling her eyes to herself. The Doctor cast a glance in her direction, grinning as he was well aware how Shari could be. "Imagine yourself on a toy store, well Shari was exactly like that at the baby clothing store."

"Oi!" The Doctor exclaimed, looking back at her with a glare. It elicited a small giggle from her. "I’m not the one you’re supposed to make fun of! Shari is. Plus, it’s not true, I don’t get excited at a toy store."

River arched an eyebrow through giggles. "Are you sure? Because, frankly there are several occasion that I could tell you abou—" She was cut by a sock thrown her way and laughed, "Oi! No clothes fights." The Doctor suppressed a grin as she glanced at him, looking sheepish. "It’s just funny, you know. I mean, she looked way more excited than I was, and I _am_ excited, just more tempered." She chuckled to herself, "She’s a crazy woman."

The Doctor hummed, agreeing. With a smile, River leaned her head against the headboard, her hands resting on her bump.

Today, she’d gone baby clothing shopping with Shari, she had promised her. It was actually the first time she went baby shopping, even though she would soon begin to have to buy everything related to baby. But this first day of shopping had been a great experience, River was beginning to like shopping for her baby.

Shari had said it was a special treat between girls. Which was also mainly a special treat by Shari’s credit card. If it wasn’t for River’s temperate words, Shari would have surely bought the whole store. And knowing her, she absolutely would have.

For a little more than two hours, until River had to give rest to her feet, the girls strolled through the store, looking at every little thing she would need for her baby. River realised only now how many objects she would need for her baby. It wasn’t only just cute little outfits and beanies and other cute little clothes. Apparently there was much more than she thought, well she still had to learn a lot about babies. Which would be great to do _before_ her own was born. That was a good idea.

Nonetheless, they had gushed for the most part of the day over little outfits and plushies. Shari had developed an adoration for plushies, and the worst was that River didn’t even know if it was for the baby or for herself. Shari seemed quite happy to buy her own plushies. Well, she couldn’t mock her on that, those were really cute.

Fortunately today, River had succeeded in buying a range of blue, green and yellow outfits, not that she could have avoided pink with Shari by her side. Still, she was now assured that her baby girl would not look like a pink cupcake. She told herself that she would dress her daughter with those pink outfits only when she needed to, so, when Shari visited.

River found herself gushing over the tiny outfit but at the same time panicked by their _tininess_ , those were ridiculously small and she couldn’t even begin to think about how small her baby would be if she fitted in those clothes. It was all a bit scary.

She never held a baby before, well there was Alfie but she’d never known him as a newborn or a small baby. The prospect of holding her newborn baby was quite scary, quite terrorising, really.

"You’ve seen how tiny the clothes are," She spoke up after an instant, the Doctor looked up at her, nodding. Of course when they got home, she instantly showed all the tiny clothes to the Doctor, gushing over it with him. Then, she shared her shopping trip with her parents and they gushed over it too. Everyone was in awe, really. "I think I’ll be quite afraid of holding her." She trailed off, thoughtful, "What if I drop her?"

The Doctor snorted, shaking his head at her idiocy. He looked back her with a laughing grin, "You should be more preoccupied with _me_ dropping her, that’s my type of things." River rolled her eyes, not reassured in the slightest. The Doctor chuckled, "But I won’t, she’s my baby, I’m not going to drop my baby. And you won’t either."

River made a small noise of agreement in the back of her throat. This didn’t quench her fears, but she knew that with time she would get more confident in what she was doing. And, well, she was sure that at the arrival of her baby all those fears would disappear to nothing. As a thing of the past. Only the happiness remaining.

With a tired sigh, she closed her eyes, rubbing at her stomach absentmindedly. This day had been an exhausting one, but a cool one nonetheless. Her first baby shopping trip, it had gone rather well. She would need to do one with the Doctor soon, for more serious objects though. Like a bed, and pots of paint, and everything, really. Dear, she was already exhausted at the prospect of it. But overjoyed, truly overjoyed.

After a minute of silence, a small chuckle escaped her, soon transforming into a full laugher at the remembrance of something. She re-opened her eyes, letting them fall on the Doctor who had stopped folding the clothes on the chair to look at her with a confused look.

She shook her head slightly, "Also," She spoke up, letting out a small chuckle. "Shari told me everything about her new relationship status. And when I tell you everything, it’s _everything_. She went on full details and it was disgusting." She made a grimace through her chuckles. "Compared to her I look like a _nun_ , and I’m pregnant with full blasting hormones, and with _you_ as a husband."

The Doctor snorted, raising an eyebrow. "Let me guess, this time she eloped with a Slitheen who’s actually a cyborg but dumped it after a few days of strong scented sex." River laughed, shaking her head vehemently through fits of laughter. "She discovered a fairy of some yet undiscovered planet and had a raging round of sex before being imprisoned for treason on the fairy queen’s virginity."

Waving her hands around her to stop the laughter, River shook her head once again, letting small snorts escape her. "No, not yet." The Doctor laughed with her. Well, at that point Shari would be able to do that, she would certainly love the thrill. "No, no, listen. Remember the story with the prince and the party…" The Doctor nodded after a second. "Well, turns out that they’re together now." The Doctor raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Yes, I know. She doesn’t even want to tell me how it turned out that way, she’s being so mysterious on this and teased me all day. She didn’t even tell me who it was, she didn’t even tell from what species he was!"

The Doctor snorted, shaking his head slightly as he continued to fold clothes on the chair. "That is indeed mysterious." He said, lightly mocking their level of mysteriousness.

River chuckled, nodding, "Yes. Imagine she’s keeping it secret because the guy’s human, that would be terribly below her standards. And what if I know him and it’s why she doesn’t want to tell me? What if it’s someone famous, like a famous king to be? Imagine if it is Henry VIII, oh dear."

The Doctor gave a thoughtful nod, "Then I would tell her to quickly change partner if she values her head on her shoulders."

River giggled, playing with the hem of the duvet. "Oh god, she’s totally dating a human guy, which is weird on its own, and she’s keeping it secret! Plus, they might be a future king, so she would probably become a future quee—"

She stopped abruptly, her hand flying down to her bump. She’d felt a sharp kick on her abdomen, one like she never felt before. It was more than a flutter this time, this was a define kick, stronger and quicker than she could feel before. Her mouth fell open.

"River?" The Doctor spoke up at the foot of the bed, his voice tinted with worry. She looked out at him with wide eyes, her mouth ajar. He dropped the clothes in his hands and turned fully to her, his brows creased with concern.

"She— She kicked me…" Suddenly, she outstretched her hand in his direction and beckoned him at her side. "Come…" He crawled on the bed to her side and sat cross legged in front of her, a look of awe on his face. She took his hand, placing it on her belly where she’d felt the kick mere moments ago. "I definitely felt the kick, it was a real thing. It wasn’t like flutters this time, it was…" She waved her hands in the air at her lack of example. "It was s _harp_. There… wait…"

She placed her hand on top of his, and tried to tell her baby to do that again. They waited for a moment in silence, River standing still. The Doctor threw glances at her face, seeing that nothing was happening. She made him stand still and after a few seconds, she felt another kick, this one lighter but still sharp.

"There!" She exclaimed in the silence and the Doctor startled a bit. "She did it again. You felt it, right. It was just there."

The Doctor looked back up at her face, a frown forming on her face. He shook his head slightly, a crease between his brow. "No, I— I didn’t."

River frowned in return, incomprehension written on her face. "Yes, yes you did. It…" He shook his head with a purse of his lips. River deflated, jutting her lower lip out. "It was right there."

He gave her a soft smile, "It’s okay." But she saw on his features the disappointment. He stroked a hand down her belly and lay down his side towards her. She did the same, lying on her back and turning her face to him. He drew lazy patterns on her stomach. "It’s normal that you feel kicks quicker than I do, Riv. It’s inside of you, of course you’re going to feel it stronger and more defined than any of us." River nodded, lips jutted out in a pout. She was sad he couldn’t feel the same as she did, she wanted him to experience what she did. "I’ll surely be able to feel her in no time at all."

River hummed, nodding in agreement. The Doctor smiled, leaning on his elbow to peck her lips, it made her smile in return. Straightening up, he lifted her shirt slowly and she giggled at the cool air hitting her stomach. He leaned down to place soft tiny kisses on her bump and placed his head against it, outstretching a palm against it. 

"Hello," He whispered and felt River chuckle against his ear. He glanced at her face, smiling broadly at her and she smiled in return, bringing her hand to his hair, playing with it. Focusing his attention back on her stomach, he dropped his voice to a faint whisper. "I’m your daddy."

He felt River stroke his hair lovingly. Glancing up, he saw she had closed her eyes, enjoying the intimate moment between the three of them.

"I’m very happy that you’re a girl. I like girls very much, I have a lot of girl friends." River chuckled above him and he smiled into her stomach. "You’re the first girl I’ve ever loved, look at that, eh. Of course your mother is not a girl, she’s a woman, and I love her as much as I love you."

River brushed the hair out of his face, a silent caress as a response.

"You already have so much people that love you." He said softly. "You’ve got a big family. You’ve got mummy and me, and we love you so much. You’ve got your grandparents, and yes your grandmother is Scottish and talks loudly, that’s probably her you hear the most in there." River chuckled, well, it was true. "You’ve got a wonderful godmother, who’s absolutely bonkers but the kindest person we know. And you’ve got so many other people waiting for you…"

River hummed. "She does."

The Doctor smiled, stroking his hand over her belly. "I’m very eager to meet you, even though it’s okay if you stay a little longer in here. I don’t want to disturb you in your little bubble." He paused, leaving a delicate kiss on her bare stomach. "You’ll see, I’m a cool daddy." River chuckled and he grinned. "And I love you very much, and your mummy loves you very much, too."

He looked up at her and saw that she had re-opened her eyes, gazing at him silently with a smile gracing her lips. "She’ll get pretty used to hear your voice, sweetie." She whispered, not wanting the break the moment. "Her daddy _loves_ to talk. He loves babbling above all else, I think you’ll get along like a charm."

The Doctor chuckled, lifting himself on his elbows and leaning into her to peck her lips. "But you like my babbling." He whispered back with a teasing smile.

"I do." She said, cupping his cheeks in hands and pulling him down for another kiss. "Very much." She pecked his lips once again, lingering this time. "And I love you very much, too."

The Doctor smiled, placing his head on her chest, letting her stroke his hair as he closed his eyes, a content sigh on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fluffy little chapter I did, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Chapter title by Sleeping At Last with 'Touch'.


	14. But Hold On, Head Up, Be Strong

— 21 weeks pregnant —

River was startled awake by a loud knock on the front door, a storey right beneath her feet. The knock echoed through the whole house, loud and clear into the deafening silence of the night. She groaned, nuzzling her face into her pillow. _Urgh, what the hell_. It was already complicated for her to get a full night of sleep with her baby doing somersaults inside of her belly as if it was the World Championship. Why would someone, in their right mind, decide to knock on their door in the middle of the night? That wasn’t a decent thing to do, that was just outright stupid.

With an irritated sigh, she turned on her other side, grumbling because of her uncomfortable position and because of the knocks continuing to resonate through the house. Didn’t they get the memo that no one was going to answer? She knew only one person that could knock on someone’s door in the middle of the night and he was sleeping beside her.

Well, right now, groaning and making soft irritated noises between snores. The Doctor grunted, rolling onto his stomach and bringing the duvet closer to him, resuming his night of sleep peacefully; or as peacefully as he could, given the knocks still echoing through the house.

After maybe a full five minutes of incessant knocking on the front door, River heard the distinct voice of her very Scottish mother, crying out indecencies and making a lot of noises as she made herself proper to go and yell at the people at their front door.

With a grumble under her breath, Amy lighten up the hallway, stomped down the stairs, and disappeared out of River’s earshot. Nonetheless, she heard voices in the street as her mother opened the door and talked to the people outside. Surely they had something to say, because her mother stayed at the door for a few minutes without yelling. 

But, well, not that interesting for River to pay much attention to it. She liked a good amount of sleep better than that. Nuzzling her face back into her pillow, she sighed softly, intending to finish her night of sleep, or at least get some rest. 

After an instant, Amy closed the door and she heard her coming back upstairs, still mumbling indescribable babbles under her breath. But instead of coming back into her room, River heard a soft knock on her door and internally rolled her eyes, why was everyone not understanding that it was the middle of the night and thus not a decent time for small talks?

With her back turned to the door, River heard her mother open it silently, the light of the hallway sending its rays into their bedroom. "Doctor?" Amy whispered, seeking his attention. He grumbled against his pillow, more asleep than awake. "I’m sorry to disturb you but there’s people for you."

He groaned, turning his back to her and tugging the duvet closer to his chin."’Am sleepin’" He mumbled, his voice muffled by his pillow. "Tell ‘em to come back tomorrow."

River heard her mother sigh at the door. "They told me that you would say that, and frankly I’d rather sleep myself. But they told me to convince you so please move your ass." He groaned noncommittally, not moving an inch. "They told me it was of the utmost importance." She winced slightly, knowing that getting awoken for a matter ‘of the utmost importance’ was never a good wake up call. "Doctor, please…"

He groaned by her side, stretching on the bed with an irritated noise at the back of his throat. River felt the bed creak beside her as the Doctor sat up for a second before standing up with a grumble. "This better be bloody good." He mumbled, walking out of the room, the door closing behind him.

River suddenly found herself alone in bed, half wondering what was going on and half thinking about going back to sleep. The latter was rather forcing itself on her but the former had peaked her interest. It wasn’t everyday that her husband was summoned in the middle of the night by _people_. She didn’t even know who was downstairs, it was quite mysterious. 

But at the same time, her mind was hazed with sleep and her eyes closing on her own. She struggled to get much sleep nowadays, but of course it was none of _people_ ’s concern. They were very much happy to disturb them whenever they wanted, even when it wasn’t a decent time of the day, well, night rather. 

Multiple voices rose downstairs, too muffled to understand anything. River’s ears peaked against her will and she recognised some of the voices, unable to pinpoint who their owners were. 

She didn’t know how long the voices had been talking downstairs, but now she was definitely awake, her mind floating somewhere between her want for sleep and her curiosity towards what was happening in her house. When her mind picked up slightly on what was happening, she realised that it was the middle of the night and the Doctor had been summoned for important matters. Certainly not a friend’s visit, then. She wouldn’t have expected it to be but it put a question mark on the matter at hand right now. 

Making up her mind, River decided that if she couldn’t get a normal night of sleep then at least she would go downstairs to quench her curiosity. Turning around in bed, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, sighing. Having a large bump in front of her was not making things easy, especially when it was an unknown hour of the night and that she was accompanied by a hazy state of mind. 

Standing up, she slipped on her cardigan and made her way out of the room. Quietly, she walked down the stairs, mindful to not make noises. When she arrived at the bottom of the stairs, she saw the hall illuminated by the light of the kitchen where it appeared that a lot of activities were happening. 

Approaching the kitchen, she kept herself in the dark of the hallway and leaned against the threshold, observing the scene before her with hands in the pockets of her cardigan. She made herself invisible; looking and listening. 

"How did this even happened?" The Doctor threw his arms in the air in exasperation. He was pacing the length of the kitchen, running a hand through his tousled hair every now and then. "How did it even get to that point?"

"Doc," It was Jack’s voice speaking. River realised his voice had been the familiar one she heard earlier, but going by his face he wasn’t here for his fancy. By his side were Martha and Mickey, both with similar looks on their face, a look of exhaustion. Jack was bracing his hands on either side of the kitchen table, gazing at the Doctor as he paced before him. "You know that Torchwood is first reached when an alien incident comes by. We were reached for that matter, a few days ago even. We tried to do everything that we could to prevent it from happening but it was beyond us. So, we went by the procedure and reached ourselves for Unit." 

He nodded his head in the far corner of the room where a blonde woman was listening attentively to the discussion. There were two guards on either side of her, looking stoic as every guard would, even in the middle of the night. 

"We were aware of this problem, of course." The woman spoke up, crossing her arms over her chest, claiming herself as the boss of the situation. "Our role is to stand back on situations such as those. Usually, the situation gets back on its feet on its own, and if a bit reluctant Torchwood is there to fix the problem. We were forced to intervene for the safety of the Torchwood team. We were obliged to do something more… militarised."

The Doctor huffed, muttering _militarised_ under his breath. He threw a glare in the woman’s direction and she deflated under his gaze, somewhat aware of how baldy they handled the situation to come to the point of weapons.

"But you didn’t answer the question." Amy chimed in, cutting the Doctor’s trail of thoughts. He turned his eyes to her, she was leaning against the countertop, arms crossed over her chest and a mix of irritation and concern in her eyes. "How did it even get to this point?"

"Surely because of their _militarised_ ways." The Doctor uttered through clenched teeth before turning back to the people of Torchwood. "Why did you reach me?" His question was directed to Jack, something passing over their eyes, as if having the memory of a previous conversation coming back to the front line of their mind. "Why did you reach me in the middle of the night, leaving no option for me but to listen and act after your orders?"

"Because the situation got out of hand, because if we don’t act right now we might not get a chance to act _at all_." The Doctor huffed, rolling his eyes in irritation, his jaw set tight. "Because you’re the Doctor." Jack said, forcing the Doctor’s gaze back on him. The latter tilted his head to the side, squinting his eyes at him. "Because you’re the one who’s reached when situations get out of hands. Because you’re the only one who can save us right now."

The Doctor squared his jaw, leaning against the table. "And _you_ know that I took a break from being the Doctor." He uttered through clenched teeth. "You very well know _why_."

"I do." Jack nodded, fully understanding the look the Doctor was giving him. "Don’t you think we tried to deal with it ourselves knowing you weren’t available? We did, we did all that we could. And I’m sorry Doctor but while you take a break from the universe, the universe doesn’t take a break from invading the Earth and destroying peoples." The Doctor sighed, dropping his head to his chest, already deflating. "You told me only red alerts. This is a red alert, I’m sorry."

Looking back up at Jack with a purse of the lips, the Doctor nodded slowly. "I know." He whispered faintly. Pushing away from the table, he began to pace the length of the kitchen once again. Bringing a hand to his hair, he sighed, ruffling them up in irritation. "Alright," He said after a silence. "Alright, I… I’ll help. But I don’t want River to know."

"Doctor," Amy spoke up, "She already does."

The Doctor turned to her abruptly. "What?"

Amy nodded her head in her direction and suddenly every eyes turned to her, unveiling her from her hidden position. She felt every scrutinising eyes on her, and it wasn’t a very good sensation to feel. The blonde woman’s gaze was curious on her, obviously haven’t seen her before. She saw the woman look her up and down, her gaze lingering on her mid-section a tad too long for her liking.

She protectively tugged her cardigan closer around herself, mindful of curious eyes on her. Her gaze fell on the Doctor, he was stoic in the middle of the room, having stopped his pacing. He was looking at her, an undecipherable look in his eyes and with a slight purse of his lips. "River…" He breathed out. "How long have you been here?"

She tilted her head to the side, a pointed look on her face. So, this was his first question. "Long enough." She stated. The Doctor nodded, a sheepish look on his face. She crossed her arms over her chest, mindful of her protruding bump that everyone was currently watching. She liked the attention, but not right now. Clearing her throat after an instant, she said, "Can I speak to you?"

The Doctor nodded quickly and everyone made way for him as he walking out of the kitchen, hot on her heels. River walked to the hallway, going to the end of it near the front door, out of earshot. She stopped short and swirled back on him.

"Care to explain what’s going on?" She asked, trying to keep her voice down. She crossed her arms over her chest as the Doctor came to a stop before her.

He sighed, passing a hand through his tousled hair, "Alien invasion." He stated, dropping his hands to his sides. "Unidentified species on both Torchwood and Unit radars, very peculiar behaviour, non receptive to threats; military threats, I mean." He shook his head slightly, pursing his lips into a frown. "They need more information to comprehend the motives of this attack, they have to prevent it… They…" 

He let out an irritated breath, looking up into her eyes. River tilted her head to the side, a frown creasing her brows and a slight glare in the eyes. What was he thinking about? She had the answer of this question in his eyes anyway. He knew it too, of course he knew she would see right through his fidgety moves and shifty eyes. 

"I’m the only one who can help by that point. You heard them." River opened her mouth to speak but he continued to talk before she could say anything. "They threat to eradicate the whole planet. I know lot of alien invasions go that way but this time they’re strong, stronger than what Torchwood and Unit have been able to handle before. I might be able to identify the species, I might get to communicate with them, just to— to understand. And make things fall back into place."

River set her jaw tight, shaking her head faintly. "I don’t want you to go."

"I don't have much choice." The Doctor cried out in a whisper. He groaned, tugging at his hair and tousling it in frustration. "I’m the only one who can help, I’m the only one who can prevent this _alien invasion_." He threw the words with disdain, rolling his eyes in irritation. "I know it’s all their fault because they buggered up, _Unit_ buggered up, and I don’t want to be the one cleaning after their mess. But I don’t really have a choice, do I?"

River gave him a pointed look, "You do, actually. No one’s holding you at gunpoint to go and fix this mess." The Doctor rolled his eyes with a loud sigh but she continued before he could speak. "Both Torchwood and Unit have failed and you just want to… _go_ in there? Give some directives to Jack, surely he can do something with the help of Unit, because, you know, he’s like, immortal." She lashed the words out, barely able to keep her voice down. Tugging her cardigan closer to herself, she watched the Doctor in the dark as he glared at her. She began to rock on her feet. "I don’t want you into that." She said in a whisper.

"I don’t have a choice." He said, throwing his hands in the air. River shook her head, intending to tell him wrong. "I don’t!" He cried out, rather loudly. "You think I even want to go there? You think I find it _funny_? I’d rather be here and sleeping, I have so many greater things to do _right now_ than fix this bloody mess! But you know what? They called for me because they know that their only option was me right now. Don’t you think Jack knows I’m not happy about that? He knows, he knows that _very_ well. And he still sent for me!" He sighed and threw his eyes to the side, his jaw clenched. "This is about the safety of hundred of thousands of humans, maybe billions of them. I can’t act selfishly towards that, I can’t think of my own personal _comfort_ and protection when things like that happen. This is so _selfish_ of you to try and confine me here while those kind of things happen."

"Selfish?!" River cried out, gaping at him. "Are you _fucking_ kidding me?" She lashed out, suddenly feeling tears prickling at her eyes. The Doctor stayed stoic in front of her, jaw clenched tight. "How can you dare say I’m selfish when _everything_ I do is for you?" She uttered with anger, blinking back the tears. "I don’t want you to go because I _care_ for you—"

"It’s my job." He cut her with the statement. 

"No, no." She shook her head, sniffling. "You job is not to be reckless in front of situations like that. You promised me… You promised me you wouldn’t put yourself in dangerous situations like that anymore." She stopped and sniffled, pressing her lips together. "For god’s sake," She uttered, "You’ve got a family now, you’ve… It’s about time you stop being _reckless_."

"I’m not reckless." He said calmly, before falling silent. River watched him with wet eyes, tugging her cardigan closer and crossing her arms over her chest. She didn’t say anything, the silence thick between them. She saw the Doctor swallow the lump in his throat, his Adam apple bobbing. He took a tentative step towards her, she instinctively drew one back. "River…" He breathed out, his gaze softening. "I won’t be reckless, I know very well what I have _here_. I won’t do anything dangerous."

She huffed, casting her eyes on a point behind his shoulder. Her eyes were pricking with tears, she didn’t want to cry over that, she really didn’t want to cry in front of him; making him see that his words had affected her.

"River, please…" He approached her gingerly but she took a step back, casting her eyes to the other side of the room and setting her jaw tight, biting her tongue. "Honey…" He whispered faintly as a plea.

"Don’t…" She breathed out. He sighed, dropping his hands to the side. She rocked slightly on her feet, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Do what you want." She uttered in a faint voice. "I don’t care."

Feeling her eyes blur with tears, she sniffled and turned around, making her way back up the stairs and leaving him alone in the dark hallway, deflating. She saw her father at the top of the stairs, stoic in the dark, having surely listened to a conversation he wished he didn’t. Who was she kidding? Everyone had heard their little scene, having been quite far from silent.

She huffed to herself, not acknowledging her father in the hallway and making her way to her bedroom, closing the door rather loudly behind her. She came to lie back down on her bed, her back to the door. Tugging the cover to her chin, she sighed deeply, her voice wobbling slightly. She closed her eyes tightly and bit her lower lip. 

Taking a calming breath, she re-opened her eyes in the dark.

 _Selfish_! He was calling her selfish when he was going to the most dangerous place there was on Earth right now and she was just trying to _protect_ him. She was so angry at him right this instant. How could he just throw that at her? How could he even say that? 

She wasn’t selfish, she was just _sensible_. He couldn’t do those reckless things anymore, he was going to be a father, he couldn’t just flee away for the night to save the world and come back in the morning as if nothing happened. It was their kind of lives _before_. Yes, before they could sneak out in the middle of the night and have adventures, and save worlds, and do other things of that kind. It was their life, the two of them, rocking the universe.

Now, it wasn’t anymore. Their view of the world had changed now, even though it appeared he was still needed. It was the manor incident that had taken the first toll on them, making them realise that the Doctor wasn’t invincible, that he was not an immortal god. And now with the baby, they couldn’t be reckless anymore, they couldn’t think of themselves only. He couldn’t think about the world first. And yes, _this_ was selfish. But it was about time he thought of himself before everything else. He had a family now, he had to be more responsible. 

The thought of him going into battle, with no weapon, no protection, without _her_ to protect him, without anything but himself and his words. It made her sick. She couldn’t bear that.

After a few minutes of silence and overthinking on her part, River heard the door of her bedroom open quietly, the light of the hallway illuminating the room for an instant before it closed back as silently. 

She heard the Doctor walk around for a moment and she realised he was getting dressed. He was actually going, he hadn’t listened to her. 

She stayed still on the bed, listening as the ruffling of clothes stopped and a silence fell in the room. But she knew, even with her eyes half closed, that he was still there, standing still. Surely looking at her.

"I’m sorry for calling you selfish." He said after what felt like an eternity, his voice breaking the tense silence. "I know you’re not."

She swallowed the lump in her throat and hated how he was making her feel. "You still said it." She said in a faint whisper, her voice bitter. 

She heard him sigh from the foot of the bed, he walked to her side, crouching down at her level even though her back was turned to him. He was silent for a moment, the bed creaking under his weight. "I wouldn’t go if I could." He said quietly. "But, it’s the safety of the planet in my hands, there are still people that need me outside and I know I shouldn’t, I know I…" He paused for an instant. "I can’t do nothing when I know I could help. Especially now, when every other method has failed." There was a silence for a second and she heard the Doctor sigh. "The only thing making me go is knowing that the safety of the planet is also _your_ safety."

"Please don’t…" She cut him, stopping his rant. He did as told, the silence falling back into the room. She didn’t want to feel like he was going to battle _for_ her. She would have wanted to help too but now she had responsibilities. She couldn’t.

It must had been a few minutes before he spoke again. "Are you angry with me?"

She didn’t answer right away, wondering if she was. But her clenched jaw and the lump in her throat told her what she needed to know. "Yes." She breathed out.

The bed creaked behind her and she felt the Doctor’s hand suddenly on her shoulder, his hair tickling her neck. She wanted to tell him to go away, to leave her alone. But she couldn’t. "I’m sorry, don’t be." He whispered close to her ear. She clenched her eyes shut tightly, feeling her eyes beginning to prickle with tears once again. "I’m sorry…" He trailed off, placing a soft kiss at the nape of her neck. "I’m sorry…"

He stood up, leaving her side, and River exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She heard him going out of the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

In the hall, the voices of the Doctor and her mother could be heard. She couldn’t decipher what they were talking about but she didn’t think she really wanted to know. Her mother’s voice rose and she appeared to be yelling at him, he grumbled a few words at her and then there was silence. 

His feet stomping down the stairs was the only sign of him going away. River felt tears rise to her eyes and when the front door slammed shut, a sob escaped her. She pressed her hands to her face as sobs began to shake her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty chapter for once, we all need one once in a while ;)
> 
> Chapter title by Sia with 'Angel By The Wing'.


	15. My Heart Is Strong Because Now I Know Where I Belong

— 21 weeks pregnant —

The Doctor rested his head against the window of the car, the rumbling of it making him doze off. The military car was what one would have expected it to be, a mixture of camouflage and black, its sight screaming ‘danger’. 

Sighing, the Doctor crossed his arms over his chest to seek a bit of warmth, closing his eyes as his head bobbed against the window. Who even went to negotiate the planet’s safety in a military car? This was the absolute wrong statement to make, this wasn’t a _we come in peace to talk_ ; no, this was a _you better get out of our planet because we won’t spare you if you decide not to_. 

The Doctor would never agree with this type of action. He was there to help them, alright; but he would do it grudgingly if he could, making his own statement on their ways of action. No wonder the humans were always so bad at handling invasions, they weren’t even trying to understand. And sometimes, understanding was the key to cooperation.

In front of him, Jack was talking in a hushed voice, planning out a scheme for how they would handle the _enemy_. The Doctor was surrounded by military and weapons in this car. He didn't like that very much. Torchwood and Unit were acting together, at least there was some cohesion in the human party. 

He wasn’t listening to Jack’s plan. He’d rather sleep through the ride to have a straight mind once in the _battlefield_. That was how they called it, the military. They couldn’t begin to understand that in this kind of situation the better was not the defensive but be open to talk. The species was unknown to everyone, even him for the moment. Nothing was telling them the unidentified species was here to invade and make war. 

This was a very human motive, only understood by humans. And to be frank, the Earth was not _that_ attractive to invasions nowadays. But then, human’s ego…

Maybe, they called him for that. Admitting their failure with their human minds, they called for him, the least human of them all. The truth was, it wasn’t how he dealt with alien invasions and attacks of that sort. He didn’t go to the epicentre of the problem in military cars from Unit. He didn’t plan an attack scheme. He just went there with his hearts and compassion.

Now, he was only there because Torchwood failed and Unit _fucked up_ in the way. And he had to fix their mess they so kindly handed him on a silver plate. 

Maybe it was their kind of fun in the end. Blowing things up, big explosions and a shower of bullets. But it wasn’t his kind of fun, nor his kind of adventures. Not anymore, anyway. 

"Doctor?" Jack’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust his vision to the people in front of him. "Did you even listen to what we just said?"

He hummed, straightening in his uncomfortable seat. "I know what I have to do." He mumbled, placing his hands in his jacket pockets and sighing tiredly. 

Jack let out an annoyed breath, nearly rolling his eyes at him. He ignored him, choosing to look back at the window. The lights of the still asleep city jumped over his eyes, the signs of a supposed alien invasion still undecipherable. 

There was a silence for a moment, the car rumbling calmly around them. No one spoke anymore, surely the ‘attack scheme conference’ was over, leaving every passenger to think for themselves. "Don’t you miss it?" Jack broke the silence. "The thrill of adventures."

The Doctor turned his face to him, observing him for a second. "This is not an adventure." He deadpanned, glaring at him slightly. 

"Come on," Jack sighed, a smile tugging at his mouth. He very well wanted him to shrug it off. "I know that this isn't the normal kind of adventures, that it’s a rather sudden and complex matter but… It’s been a long time for you, don’t you miss that?"

The Doctor repressed a sigh, setting his jaw and glaring at him through his fringe. "Jack," He said calmly, too calmly to sound pleased. "My wife is angry at me for going on a dangerous mission in the middle of the night. And I’m angry at you, at Unit especially, for _fucking up_ a mission that should have gone without a scratch if it had been for your common sense."

Jack deflated, relenting. "I’m sorry Doctor. We couldn’t have known that it would fail."

Huffing, the Doctor rolled his eyes, "Well, it bloody did." 

He wasn’t mad at them for their failing. They messed up pretty often, always seeking him when they couldn’t handle the problem anymore. But that was what he was actually mad about. He wasn’t supposed to be a plan B to messing up anymore, he’d made Jack promise they wouldn’t. They couldn’t fight knowing that if they failed he would be there to fix things up, as he always was before. They couldn’t fight with this option in head because it wasn’t an option anymore. 

Maybe the right name for his situation was ‘retired’. He didn’t want to deal with that anymore, he _couldn’t_. He had much greater responsibilities elsewhere, preventing him to be reckless on those type of missions.

"This is the last time I do that." He uttered before looking back up at Jack, the latter giving him an understanding look. "Today, I can still do this mission, but that’s the last time I’m able to or want to." He paused, biting his lower lip. "Right now, I only have an angry wife to deal with, and rightly so. But it’s nothing I can’t fix." He shook his head slightly, "I can’t, and don’t want to, be _embedded_ on those missions once the baby’s there. No more risks and no more _reckless_ missions. I have responsibilities now, more than ever, and I can’t do that."

Jack nodded firmly, understanding the statement loud and clear. "I know, Doc. I know… We have a promise, I’m keeping it."

The Doctor nodded, his gaze shifting back to the window. When before a mission like this one would have thrilled him, now he only saw a bland and joyless job. His joy was much more turned towards River’s pregnancy nowadays. His priorities had shifted, his ways of happiness had shifted. He was perceiving the world completely differently now, but he liked it better, he thought. Much better.

"And Jack," He turned his eyes back to the man, the latter perking up at his name. "I now have way more thrilling matters at home."

—

River was dozing off on the couch of the living room, her eyes fighting sleep as she watched the TV with an absent mind. With her body snuggled under a blanket, she held her head in one hand, the other placed above her bump, stroking it absentmindedly. 

It was four in the afternoon and she was still in her pyjama, getting dressed the least of her worries. She’d been fighting sleep the whole night, hoping to hear the return of the Doctor in the morning. He didn’t. It was now the afternoon and there was no sign of him.

She was worried sick, the most horrible of thoughts swirling inside her mind. The best thing to do was to occupy herself with something, and she’d tried everything really. But there was not much to do at Leadworth and she was too worried to do anything productive. So, she ended up in front of the telly, relishing on the good old boring shows being broadcast. 

But well, since she hadn’t got any sleep the night before, she was dozing off on the couch now, sprawled on her side and tracing patterns on her belly. Her baby was particularly active today, she could feel her kick every now and then, and although she relished on every single kick, she couldn’t help but think that her baby was feeling her worries. 

She knew it wasn’t healthy for her baby, and she knew that she should stop worrying, but she couldn’t help herself. The Doctor should have been home by now, and he wasn’t. Everything could have happened, he could have hurt himself, hell, he could have been taken by the enemy and brought to their planet as hostage. He didn’t even have the TARDIS with him, he was hopeless if something happened.

Oh dear, she had to stop thinking about the worst.

Her mother gave her a good distraction when she entered the living room, walking to her with a faint smile. "Make some room for me?"

River brought her legs closer to her chest, as close at she could with her bump, and Amy sat by her side with a tired sigh. She knew her mother was as worried as her, but in comparison to her she could act as if nothing was wrong. Slightly better than her, at least. 

"What are you watching?" Amy asked after a minute of silence, turning her head in her direction.

She shrugged as a response, that was a good question. "Don’t know, some crap."

Her mother hummed, looking back at the telly. River pursed her lips, exhaling a long breath, pretending not to be worried was actually worse than being worried on its own. It was all those emotions on the verge of exploding into, what River certainly thought would be, tears. She didn’t want to cry, she’d cry for nearly the whole night and had no more tears to release her emotions. 

"River, sweetheart." Her mother broke the silence and she glanced at her, seeing the compassionate smile on her face. "He’s fine…" She trailed off, placing a hand on her leg, caressing it tenderly. 

She said nothing, only pursing her lips even more to stop an oncoming flow of tears. She dropped her head to the armrest, nuzzling her face into the cushion. She couldn’t help it, she couldn’t stop worrying. Maybe it was her mother side coming up, the pure want to protect him against danger. She acquired a sense of responsibility during her pregnancy, she was much more tempered now in front of risks. Already more worried about reckless actions.

"River, don’t worry." Her mother soothed her. "It’s the Doctor, he’s always alright."

River’s eyes turned to her, a crease between her brows. "Not always." She whispered, the reminiscence of their last big mission flashing before her eyes, a memory she didn’t want to see again in her mind. 

"He won’t do anything reckless, sweetheart." Amy caressed her leg above the blanket. River sighed, dropping her eyes to the floor, a forlorn expression in her eyes. "He knows very well what he’s got here. You know it as much as I do. He’s only reckless for you, Riv."

She nodded slowly without a word. She knew that, she very well knew that. It was just hard to get her mind to cooperate with her, but then she knew the worries were a thing she couldn’t stop, even if she tried hard enough. There was nothing to do, really. She would always worry for the Doctor when he was in dangerous situations. Especially when she was full on hormones.

"He’ll be back soon." Her mother said at last, her tone hopeful. 

She nodded faintly. "I hope," She breathed out.

—

River was startled awake as a heavy weight dropped on her bed. In her sleep induced state, she felt a body move beside her and her hearts began to thump in her chest. The figure groaned after a second, she let out a relieved breath and sat up in bed.

"Doctor?" She asked and he hummed, the sheets ruffling around him. "You’re there." She breathed out and he hummed noncommittally, scooting closer to her body. She felt the roughness of his tweed against her thigh as he absentmindedly brought a clumsy hand around her legs. "Are you alright?"

He hummed once again, mumbling incoherent nonsense. "Fine, just tired. ‘Ve been runnin’ around all night, and day, and night again…" He trailed off, setting himself into silence.

Pursing her lips, River turned to her nightstand and switched on the light, the action eliciting a groan from the Doctor’s part. "When did you get here?" She asked, turning back to him and examining his state. 

He was sprawled on his stomach, hair in disarray and jacket and shoes still on. He brought a hand to his face, blocking the light from his eyes. "Right now, I just did." His voice was muffled and he let out a tired sigh, rolling into his back and removing the hand from his face and squinting up at her. 

His clothes were dirty and he looked like a right mess. But his eyes looked up at her with more of a tired haze than a wounded one. She could breathe in peace, he was fine.

But as soon as she thought the words, she gasped. Taking his face in her hands, she tilted his jaw to accommodate to the light and he startled slightly at her sudden move. "Sweetie! Your cheek!"

He gave her an inquisitive look. "What about it?" He brought a hand to his cheek and winced as he touched the cut there. "It’s nothing, really. It’s just a scratch, I didn’t even notice it."

River examined him with pursed lips. This didn’t look like a scratch. This looked more like a cut, a small one but a cut nonetheless. By the Doctor’s state, she couldn’t decipher if this happened in the middle of the action or because he stumbled on his two feet on the way back. Knowing him, she couldn’t really be sure. 

Letting go of his face, she sat back up, sitting cross legged on the bed and patting the space in front of her. "Sit." He groaned, stretching on the bed and she rolled her eyes. "Sit. I can’t lift heavy weights so you’ll have to lift yourself on your own. Don’t be a child." She smiled.

The Doctor sat up with a groan and a mumble about ‘heavy weights’ and how ‘he wasn’t _that_ heavy’. River chuckled lightly as he sat cross legged in front of her.

She took his chin in hand, examining his wound with a purse of her lips. "Alright, remove your dirty clothes and shoes while I go and find something to take care of that." She gave him a smile and stood up from the bed.

"It’s okay, Riv. It’s nothing." He mumbled but she was already out of the door. He sighed, deciding to throw his boots at the floor. Shrugging off his tweed, he untied his bowtie and removed shirt and trousers with a much grace he could manage on the bed. Throwing them on the chair, he shuddered at the cold of the room hitting his nearly naked body. Taking his pyjama from the same chair, he hastily put it on and flopped back down on the bed.

When River came back, he was sprawled back on his stomach, fully clothed for the night and pillow hugged against his good cheek, his eyes closed. She smiled at his sight against herself. 

"Come on, sit." She directed, going back to the bed and waiting for him to grudgingly sit up. "You’re not going to like it but I need to disinfect the cut, with alcohol." She added and he whined, making her roll her eyes. Of course, he was a child.

She felt him place his hands on her bump and the small somersaults inside of her came back instantly. She knew it was because of the Doctor’s presence, her baby was always more active when he was nearby, touching her or talking to her. It was funny to see how the Doctor’s presence affected her baby’s movement, this was the real bond they had created. 

She brought the disinfecting cotton to his cheek and he winced at the touch, dropping his eyes to where his hands moved tenderly over her stomach. She knew they were ignoring the big subject, the thing they had to talk about, the big elephant in the room. They should be talking about what happened, at least acknowledge that they’d both been hurting through this mission he’s had. 

But for the moment, she was simply content to have him back at her side, albeit tired but well. He was back at home, safe now. This was all that made her forget about the last 24 hours. 

She dabbed the cotton delicately over his cheek. It was fine, the cut wasn’t too deep, this would not make a scar. Well, his body was used to scratches and small cuts to get back to normal in no time at all. 

"So," She spoke up after a minute of silence. "How did it go?"

The Doctor made a face, wincing because of his wound. "The alien invasion was prevented, thanks to me." He chuckled faintly and she smiled. "Turns out I knew what species it was, can’t remember the name though, surely will tomorrow when my mind is back to normal." He sighed, a smile tugging at his lips. "They were peaceful, they were just lost… They never asked for war, or those battles anyway. They’re peaceful but powerful, reacting in the most defensive of ways for a thing they didn’t understand." He shook his head slightly. "Humans. Always reacting so badly to a thing they can’t understand…"

River hummed, lifting his eyes to her. "You can’t change them Doctor, but they learned from their mistakes today and that’s already a step forward." He nodded, pursing his lips into a tired smile. Having finished with disinfecting the wound, River put a plaster on his cheek, suppressing a laugh at how ridiculous he looked. "There you go."

The Doctor smiled, "Thank you." They fell silent for a moment, looking at each other. The Doctor opened his mouth to say something but stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking. "I’m sorry, for yesterday. For what I said and how I acted." River tilted her head to the side, giving her a soft smile. He shook his head "The life I had for the past 24 hours is not the life I want anymore. It’s not what thrills me anymore. It’s not… _me_ , anymore." He looked down at his hand on her bump before looking back up at her. "My life is much more thrilling in here, with you, and baby."

River smiled, smothering the hem of his wrinkled pyjama. "I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I… Of course I understand what you did and why you went there. It’s just that… I was scared… for you."

She gave him a purse of the lips and he nodded, a soft smile gracing his lips. "And I’m safe now…" He trailed off, bringing a hand to her cheek and pulling her to him for a kiss, he lingered for a few seconds, telling her with his lips what was silent to them. The _I love you’s_ and the _I’m fine’s_. Pulling away, he traced a finger down her cheek and jaw, dropping it back to her bump. "I’m always safe with you in my mind, and right next to me."

She smiled at him genuinely, and she thought her baby also felt the love emanating from him because she did small somersaults inside of her. The gazed at each other for an instant, content in their bubble of time. 

But then, suddenly, the Doctor’s eyes grew wide like a saucer, his mouth falling open in shock. 

"What?" River exclaimed, worry painted in her eyes. She brought her hands to his shoulders but he didn’t respond, his mouth wobbling ajar. "What? What is it?"

His eyes dropped to her midsection where his hands were resting, he looked back up abruptly, a beaming smile beginning to grace his lips. "She— She kicked me! I— I totally felt it! It was…"

He stayed struck in place, and River’s mouth fell open. "Really?" She exclaimed in shock. He nodded vehemently, his eyes shifting from her to her bump. "She did, she really did!" She cried out and he nodded once again, a look of awe in his eyes. 

He bent down to place his ear against her stomach and she lay down, bringing him down with her. He outstretched his hands on her bump, placing his ear in the middle. "Oh, this is way too _cool_."

He looked back up at her, beaming. He bit his lip, dropping his head back against her belly.

"Hello," He whispered. "Yes, it’s me, it’s your daddy. Are you greeting me home?" He chuckled, stroking her bump tenderly. "I’m here now. I know I’ve been reckless lately, but it’s over. No more of being reckless, I promise." He glanced back up at River, smiling. "No more of that, no. Now it’s you, and me, and mummy. No one else."

River felt a tear slid down her eyes, disappearing beneath her temple. She didn’t mind it, it was a tear of joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a bit of fluff for the end of the chapter! I wasn't going to keep it all grim and sad, of course! I hope you liked this chapter!
> 
> Chapter title by Muse with 'Aftermath'.


	16. All That I Could Think About Was You

— 24 weeks pregnant —

River walked through the corridor in search of the Doctor. The house had been quite calm for the majority of the afternoon and this silence always made her suspicious, this wasn’t in the Doctor’s nature to be calm and quiet.

Peeking into the living room as she saw the television turned on. Her eyes fell on the Doctor’s figure on the couch and her lips twitched into a smile at his sight. He was sprawled on the couch, his feet hanging off the armrest and one arm dangling off the couch, his fingers brushing the carpet.

His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly ajar. A puff of air escaped his lips. River couldn’t help but grin at his sight, he was such an adorable sight.

Approaching him, she saw a book hanging from his fingers. Tilting her head slightly, she looked at the cover, _1001 Names For Baby Girls (the original kind), new edition from 5345_. A grin crossed her features, she nearly rolled her eyes.

He had been so engrossed in finding the _perfect_ name for their little girl lately. It kept him up at night and exhausted him up to making him nap during the day. This was a great level of devotion, but she liked this side of him.

For her part, she hadn’t yet began with searching for names, they still had time; well, a bit of it. And seeing him so engrossed in the matter, she was letting him have a step ahead. Even with the knowledge that he _could_ come up with some horrible names, she had faith in him.

Taking the book before it fell from his hands, she observed it for an instant. The pages were worn with corners turned down as bookmarks. She couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, this book looked like her archeology textbooks. He was literally studying the names.

No wonder he was so exhausted. 

Placing the book on the coffee table, she took the blanket thrown on the back of the couch and covered the Doctor with it. He startled slightly at the weight thrown on him, squinting his eyes open for an instant of comprehension before closing them back. He brought his hands to his body, turning on his side, the nose in the cushions, and snuggled himself into a small ball.

He mumbled out small incoherent words before letting out a puff of breath and falling back into sleep. River smiled softly, bringing the hem of the blanket to his chin and caressing a hand down his arms. If taking care of a baby was as easy and adorable as this, she wouldn’t mind.

Well, one part of it was _that_ ; the other, not so much.

Leaving his side with a soft caress to his back, she made her way back to the kitchen where her mother was sipping her tea without a word. Amy looked up at her as she entered the room and made her way back to her chair, bringing her hands back around her mug.

"So, what’s he doing being all quiet and mysterious?" Amy inquired.

She chuckled to herself, warming her hands around her tea. "He’s napping." Her mother arched an eyebrow, not convinced. "What, it’s true." She shrugged, smiling up at Amy. "He’s not doing anything suspicious or anything at all actually. He’s just taking a nap."

Amy kept her eyebrow arched, an impressed look growing on her face. "He’s really taking a nap?" River nodded, rolling her eyes at her mother’s repetition. "I’ve never seen him take a nap before, that’s funny." Amy said, a grin forming on her face. River shrugged once again. "Wait, he’s a Time Lord and he’s taking a nap? Isn’t that the contrary of being a Time Lord, using that time as you wish and all of those things."

"Yes, well," River chuckled, feeling obliged to take the defence of her adorable-when-asleep husband. "Even though he’s a Time Lord, he can be tired. That doesn’t only apply to humans. And, well, this pregnancy is not only tiring to me. It also is to him." She gave her a kind smile, tilting her head to the side, "He’s very invested in it."

Amy hummed, leaning back in her seat with her cup in hand. She was looking at her thoughtfully. "I’m telling you, he’s getting more and more human." River grinned, nodding with a small shrug. "Because he’s no longer weird like before," River laughed at that, Amy grinned at her reaction. "Not that he _isn’t_ , but he’s… less. He no longer looks like the alien from space that crashed into my backyard. He’s much more mature and… normal."

"He’s lived with us long enough to adapt to our ways." River responded, gazing at her mother. "But he’s still childish," She chuckled, "When he wants to be. Although he can be very mature, he’s much more responsible now. I think he’s grown much since the announcement of baby."

Amy nodded, "Maybe he’s a little bit more human than I thought." She shrugged with a chuckle, taking a sip of her tea. "Or maybe he’s getting old."

River chuckled, tilting her head to the side. "That depends on what you mean by old."

Her mother considered the thought, acknowledging it by a tilt of the head and a small snort. Considering the Doctor was more than a thousand years old, naming him as old was something quite subjective. He didn’t look old, in this body anyway, but River knew he had those wise eyes and old mind. It was what she liked so much about him, actually.

"He’s been wearing himself out lately, searching for baby names." She chuckled to herself, throwing a glance at her mother. The latter raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "I keep telling him that we have lots of time left; well, not lots and lots, but still." She sighed, rolling her eyes. "But he wants to find the _perfect_ name, he wants to be the one finding it. I think it’s very important to him, that’s his part in the pregnancy." She pursed her lips into a smile but it soon transformed into a grin. "I’m a bit scared of what he could come up with, actually."

Amy laughed, "Well, don’t you have a few ideas yourself already?" River shrugged, humming slightly. "Don’t you have a list of names you like?"

River sipped her tea, looking at her mother over the rim of her mug. She smiled to herself, "I have a list of names that I _don’t_ like of find inappropriate; I submit them to him, just to avoid the most horrible of possibilities. That’s plenty enough for the moment, I know at least he won’t come up with the _worst_ of ideas."

Chuckling, Amy agreed, "Well," She said, straightening on her seat and placing her mug on the table. "You still have plenty of time to think about that. You have, what, nearly 4 months left."

River made a grimace, "At the very most. I was rather hoping for 3 and a half, that would be better than looking like a huge ball for a whole month." She sighed, leaning against her seat, giving a laughing smile to her mother. Placing her hand on her bump, she stroked it tenderly, relishing in the pleasure of touching, or nearly so, her child. "I’m already enormous anyway."

"Nonsense." Amy exclaimed, swatting at her.

She rolled her eyes, still grinning. "I feel like I’ve been pregnant for 3 years. Trust me when I tell you I don’t have any memories left about how I looked before. None! I feel like I’ve always looked like that and always will."

Amy chuckled, "It’s only been 6 months, sweetheart."

Looking back at her mother, she gave her a smile, a gleam in the eyes. "Yes, well, that’s what I’m saying. It’s been ages." Placing her hand under her bump, she tugged at her shirt unconsciously. She liked her pregnant body, but she feared she would never grow back to her original body. This was quite sad.

At least, she didn’t have any stretch marks.

Yet.

She sighed, playing with her mug. Her mother laughed in front of her, she lifted her eyes to her. "Look at you, being all impatient. You look like the Doctor."

This remark made her grin. She looked down at her bump. "I _am_ eager. It’s…" She paused for an instant, frowning to herself. "Can you imagine that in a few months there’s going to be someone new in the family? Someone I made…" She looked back up, wonder in her eyes. Amy beamed at her, the bright smile revealing how eager she was herself. "Can you imagine that? It’s… It’s so surreal. It’s astonishing."

"I know," Amy smiled. She leaned over the table and took her daughter’s hand in her own, squeezing her reassuringly. "Cherish this moment, Riv, while she’s still growing inside of you. Because, before you know it, people will ask for you to push."

River let out a chuckle, nodding. She was feeling very good with keeping her daughter a little while longer inside of her. This phase of having children was never the easiest, -not that it was the hardest, she couldn’t fool herself on what was to come afterwards- but she knew it was a phase of wonder and amazement. And she would relish it as much as she could, knowing fully that the months were going to fly by.

—

River lay against the Doctor, their body sprawled in the length of the couch. She laid her head on the Doctor’s chest, playing with the hem on his shirt as they watched a programme on TV absentmindedly.

His body was warm against her, the heat emanating from his body a good blanket for this cold month of December. She sighed contently, nuzzling her face against the soft texture of his shirt.

The Doctor drew lazy patterns on her abdomen absentmindedly. She could see that he was thoughtful, he’s been for a few hours, maybe even for the whole day. She wondered what he could be thoughtful about. Going by his face, it wasn’t a bad thoughtful kind of thing. It was intriguing.

Lifting her face from his chest, she looked up at him, catching his eyes as he absentmindedly glanced down at her. "What’s going through your head?" She spoke up, levering her gaze to his face.

He hummed noncommittally, a question in his tone. He looked down at her, a frown slightly creasing his brows. "What?"

She smiled, dropping her head back on his chest, "There’s something inside your head, you’re thoughtful. What is it?"

He shook his head, she lifted up her eyes to see a grin tugging at his lips. "Nothing." He said, giving her an inquisitive look. She arched an eyebrow at his response and he was forced to roll his eyes at her, swatting at her thigh. "Nothing _wrong_."

"I know," River chuckled, "I’d know from your face if something was wrong." She smiled up and he relented, huffing out a sigh. "There’s something, though. Nothing’s wrong but there’s something nagging at you. Tell me."

The Doctor huffed with a grin and she smirked. He continued to stroke her bump tenderly, "Alright." He relented with a sigh. He looked back down at her and she gave him an expectant gaze, he rolled his eyes. "I found a name and it’s growing on me."

River raised an eyebrow, seeing the embarrassed look on his face. And was that a blush slowly creeping up his neck? With an inquisitive frown, she leaned on her elbow to look down at him properly. "Really?" She questioned and he nodded, almost shyly. A grin grew on her face, "Why didn’t you tell me? You should have told me."

He shrugged, his cheeks reddening. "What if you don’t like it?"

She snorted, "Well, I don’t know the name yet, dumby." She leaned back against his chest, snuggling back to his side. She heard him huff above her and smirked in response. "Tell me then, and I’ll tell you if it’s horrendous or wonderful. I hope it’s not a name that has anything to do with food or warriors."

The Doctor groaned, pinching her thigh, "No, stop. It’s not." She chuckled, relenting into his arms. "Alright then, it’s uh…" He cleared his throat.

River laughed, "Are you embarrassed by your secret name?" He grumbled under his breath as a response and she chuckled, straightening back on her elbow to look at his face. She saw a mixture of embarrassment and a small amount of pride hidden underneath. "Is it so horrendous that you’re embarrassed to tell me?" She chuckled.

"No, not at all." He relented, sighing. River smiled, dropping a kiss to her chest before deposing her head back there once again. "It’s…" He cleared his throat. "Uh, what do you think of the name _Freya_?"

River stayed silent for a few seconds, testing the word on her tongue. "Freya…" She breathed out, finding the sound of the name quite new on her lips. She frowned to herself, the name hadn’t been what she had expected to get out of the Doctor’s mouth. She’d thought for a bizarre name, something much more of his style. But it was…

Leaning up on her elbow, she looked at him, seeing some expectancy and apprehension in his eyes. When he saw the conflict in her eyes, he deflated. "You don’t like it."

"No, no," She said hastily, placing a hand on his chest. "I…" She frowned to herself, pressing her lips together. She saw the Doctor’s face dropping beneath her, "No, no, it’s…" She opened her mouth slightly ajar before closing it back again. Her brows creased for an instant. "Freya…" She breathed out once again. "It’s… I—" A small laugh escaped her, her lips twitching into a smile. "That’s actually…" She paused, snorting. "It’s actually a great name. It’s—" She didn’t finish her sentence, grinning down at him.

A beaming smile began to grace his lips, his eyebrows rose in the air with a surprised expression. "The name comes from the Norse mythology." He explained, beaming after her burst of interest to his cherished name. "Freya, she was the goddess of love and fertility, and, well, I find that fitting…" He trailed off into a grimace. "No- not that she’s _that_ , that would be weird and urgh no. But, you know, she’s _from_ that."

River smiled as she saw the Doctor blush in embarrassment, an indescribable sensation of pride suddenly flooded her. The Doctor’s cheeks reddened and she could but smile softly at him.

"Also," He spoke up, playing with the cuffs of his shirt. "It’s, uh, it’s a little something of my planet. Gallifrey, Freya, that’s… it’s fitting." He shrugged slightly, shy of the name he found on his own and fitting perfectly with the little creature that grew inside of her. He glanced up at her, "What do you think of it?"

River smiled, "why don’t you ask her first?" She took his hand and placed it on her bump, relaxing into his arms and lifting her eyes to him. He looked down at her with an inquisitive face, she grinned, "Come on, ask her."

He smiled shyly, looking down at her bump. "Hello, daughter," He chuckled faintly, stroking her bump softly. River let out a content breath, smiling. She leaned her head on his shoulder, watching him talk to her bump. "So, uh, we may have found a name for you, but since it’s _you_ , we’d want your opinion on it." River chuckled, placing a hand under her bump. "So, would that be okay if we named you Freya?"

After not even a second of silence, River felt a sharp kick to her side. She looked up at the Doctor abruptly, "Did you feel that?" She said, wide eyed. He looked down at her with a beaming smile, nodding vehemently. "She said yes!" He nodded with a small chuckle leaving his mouth. "She did." River repeated in awe.

"Yes, yes she did!" He beamed, bringing a hand to her jaw and bringing her up for a kiss. She laughed against his lips, a bright smile adorning her face. "And you," He said after breaking away from the kiss, brushing the few tendrils of hair around her face. "Do _you_ like it?"

"I love it, sweetie." She exclaimed.

The Doctor let out an awed breath, looking down at her bump before looking back up at her eyes. He snorted slightly. "Riv, did we just find a name for our daughter? Just… like that!"

River nodded, smiling, "We did, we absolutely did. There’s nothing better, there’s nothing more fitting. It’s just… It’s just _her_." She bit her lower lip, beaming. "We just found a name for our daughter and she’s called Freya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Yes, I named their child Freya because this has become a sort of headcanon for the time babies and I couldn't see myself writing her as something else after all the fics I read with the little Freya.  
> Although I utterly love this name, I didn't come up with it and want to give a shoutout to the first person that ever wrote that name ( _for me, at least_ )  
> So, (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ to obsessedsoul, check her things, it's muy perfecto. 
> 
> Anyway... I hope you enjoyed this chapter and this rant. Leave a comment to stop my soul from bleeding glitters.  
> Chapter title by Crywolf with 'The Hunger in Your Haunt'.


	17. Two Kids, You and Me

— 27 weeks pregnant —

"So, I was thinking." Amy spoke up one morning, seated at the kitchen table and playing with her spoon in hand. River looked up from her place at the countertop, waiting for the kettle to boil. She raised an eyebrow at her mother’s words, eliciting a roll of the eyes from the latter. "Oh, shut up." Amy grinned. " _So_ , I was thinking. Maybe we should start with making Freya’s nursery, eh?"

Her daughter hummed, fiddling with the tea bags in their cups. Opposite Amy’s seat, the Doctor nodded, sending an inquiring look at his wife, questioning her with his eyes.

"Yes," River nodded, "I think it’s about time we tidy up a bit the room and start making it decent to welcome a baby." She replied, filling the cups with the hot water and bringing them to the table. She place a cup in front of the Doctor, who breathed out his thanks, and sat by his side. "We can’t quite see what the room looks like without all the things in there."

Amy hummed in agreement. "The room is great, though. Once we remove all the furnitures cluttered there, the room is a decent size." She took a sip from her tea before making a faint grimace. "Although, this makes me think that we should actually tidy up the room, with everything cluttered there in a mess I don’t even remember what’s there."

Rory nodded beside her, making his presence known as he straightened in his seat. "But let’s not rush things." He said, placing his cup back on the table. "I’m sure Freya’s going to sleep with River and the Doctor at the beginning. It’s always easier to begin with." River nodded, agreeing. "So, really, I don’t recommend you to get all stressed out by it."

Amy relented, acknowledging the fact with a tilt of the head. "Yes, of course, but it’s better to do everything _before_ she’s there. I’m sure we’ll have way to many other things to think about while she’s here. So," She pursed her lips, thinking. "Uhm, we should actually paint the walls pretty quickly, to get the smell out before she comes."

The Doctor nodded, "We’re still thinking for a colour, actually." He turned his head to River, giving her a raised eyebrow. With a small chuckle, she nodded, placing a hand on his thigh.

"For the moment we’re struggling to find a _compromise_ ," She gave him a look, he snorted. "Even though, we’ve settled for anything that isn’t pink, that’s at least a thing we are sure of." She added, eliciting a grin from the Doctor’s face, who nodded in agreement. 

The last weeks had been full of pillow talks transforming into baby-furniture thinking talks. They’ve started making a list of everything they would need, and the more they thought about it, the more they realise the amount of furnitures and objects they would need to buy. The number of it was astonishing. 

They’d decided to buy a new cradle, or at least what they called baby beds now. They’d first thought of the Doctor’s cradle but thought of its impracticability and quickly gave up on bringing it into the picture. They would keep it as an spare cradle for the TARDIS, even though they knew they’d probably not stay much into it. It was just in case.

The amount of furnitures to think about was overwhelming, there were even some that River only discovered the function of. Despite the search being quite enormous, River couldn’t help but feel such a joy at finally coming to the phase where they were actually starting to prepare the place for her baby’s arrival. It was one step closer to seeing Freya.

Rory’s sighing made her look up from her thoughts, "Why do I feel like I’ll be the one forced to team up with the Doctor though the wall painting process?" He grumbled into his tea. "It’s already difficult and exhausting, why do you have to add up a difficulty level?"

The Doctor huffed outrageously across from him and Amy snorted, patting her husband’s back in sympathy. "Because I’m really bad at painting walls and River obviously can’t because she’s the pregnant one in here." River offered a grin to her mother over the rim of her tea, chuckling into it. "I’m sure you two will make a great team out of it. Like, I’m not asking you to paint frescoes on the wall, I’m just asking for one solid colour; I mean, if you can do that."

Rory grumbled under his breath, relenting on the thought for the sake of everyone, including the walls. The Doctor pursed his lips into a frown, eyeing Amy with a peculiar look. "I don’t think I’m really good at painting walls. Well, can’t say I ever did it, or at least I don’t remember, but it seems quite… _complex_."

"You can’t be worse than mum, though." River shimmed in, giving him a reassuring look before throwing a glance at her mother, a grin making its way onto her face. Amy huffed before her, shaking her head with a roll of the eyes. "Did she ever tell you about the time she wanted to repaint her room and her pot of paint exploded, painting the floor instead of the walls. She’s not allowed near any paint wise like substance anymore."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow out of curiosity, turning his eyes to Amy for her response.

She huffed, throwing a glare in her daughter’s direction. "Shut up! That was an accident. You know it was, I knew _this_ was not supposed to happen."

River laughed, leaning back in her seat with a grin adorning her face. She remembered that day well. Oh, how they laughed and still do today, Amy was more sensitive on that anecdote now that she was an adult and needed to prove her qualities but River knew that her mother was laughing with her inside of her head at this instant.

"That’s for sure," She spoke up, "Mum can absolutely _not_ be the one to paint that room. I want it to look decent enough; not like a disaster."

Amy huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back into her chair. "It was once! I didn’t even do it on purpose, it just… happened."

River smiled at her, taking a sip from her tea. "Don’t worry, the guys will take care of it." The Doctor grumbled beside her and she shot a glance his way, chuckling at his facial expression. With a purse of sympathy, she leaned her head against his shoulder, trying to reassure him into thinking that he was not _that_ rubbish at painting things, and walls. "The guys will do the hard job while we’ll do the cute, easy and gushy ones." She chuckled.

The Doctor groaned against her, "I want to do that too, those are cool things, cool things are made to be done by me." River grinned, not even glancing up at him. "It’s like, I’m the king of cool stuff, I attract cool stuff. You have to make me do them too."

River nodded, placing her hand on his bicep. "You will." She lifted her eyes to him, a laughing grin in her eyes that meant nothing good for him. "You’ll be the one building the furnitures after we buy them. What a honour."

He grumbled as an answer, pinching her side. She giggled, jerking at his tickling touch. In front of them, her parents rolled their eyes simultaneously.

—

A few days later found Amy and River seated around the kitchen table, notebooks in hand and laptop in front of them. They’d decided that looking at the furnitures online rather than going to the store was a good thing as any. First, one could scroll through a innumerable number of furnitures in the comfort of one’s pyjama, this was for River; second, why shouldn’t they benefit from new technologies?

"Why does everything have to be so pink?" River groaned, leaning back against her chair. "No, first, biggest question, why are there different tabs for boy and girl’s furnitures? I don’t see the point of it, that’s just…" She sighed, trailing off. The sight of the overly decorated chest made her groan once again. "At this point, it just becomes horrendous."

Amy laughed beside her, shifting the laptop to her. "It’s not really to our tastes," She agreed, tilting her head to the side at the sight of some terrible chests. "I don’t think it really is to anyone’s taste." She threw a glance at her daughter, the latter giving her a purse of the lips with a slight nod. "Do you think they decorate the furnitures with the baby’s tastes in mind?"

River made a grimace, her gaze shifting from the laptop to her mother. "Babies don’t have tastes."

Shrugging, Amy scrolled through the website, trying to find some basic furnitures with _basic_ colours. At that point, finding a single white furniture was a struggle. She sighed after a moment, leaning back against her seat, "It’s complete madness, the amount of _stuffs_ and _things_ a creature as tiny as a baby needs. They’re high maintenance."

River hummed in agreement, shifting in her seat at her uncomfortable position. She placed a hand over her bump, tugging down at the hem of her t-shirt. She pursed her lips into a smile, stroking her bump softly.

They were doing everything to make themselves the more ready they could be for Freya’s arrival, but she didn’t feel ready in the slightest. She knew she still had a little more than two months left, and it left enough time to get ready in every ways. But she knew she’d never be ready until Freya was there. It was a bit scary, a little more scary if she acknowledged the fact clearly.

She didn’t know if she was ever going to be ready, this was a great adventure ahead of her. Two months were nothing but she was fine with keeping her daughter a little more inside of her. For the moment, her bump was quite the burden to her, but she knew once it was gone she was going to miss it.

She was broken out of her thoughts by the Doctor entering the kitchen, his pace looking somewhat grumpy and his clothes covered in paint.

"What happened to you?" She chuckled as she saw him walking to the sink, beginning to wash his hands. He threw her a glance, simply rolling his eyes at the funny expression she gave him. "Did the pot of paint explode on you? I hope you haven’t made a mess up there." She said but her tone was covered by the bright grin on her face. He shook his head with a sigh, raising his eyebrows at her. "What, did you lose your brush in the air and it fell on you?"

He gave her a grimace, eliciting a giggle from her. She wasn’t very far from the truth. "No, it _didn’t_." He stuck out his tongue to prove his point and she could only raise an incredulous eyebrow at him. "I’ll have you know," He began, turning his eyes to her, "That painting walls is a very difficult and messy job."

River hummed ironically. The Doctor huffed in response, drying his hands on the towel and coming to her side. "Well, I could help if you’d let me." She said, looking up at him as he came to lean on the back of her chair. She gave him an open look but he shook his head nonetheless. "I’m a very capable person."

He tugged at the hair escaping her messy bun, "I wouldn’t want that for you." He chuckled, letting out a giggle as she swatted at his hand in her hair. "My body’s aching everywhere, there are even places that never ached before and now they do. No, I completely forbid you to even take up a brush." River raised an eyebrow and he nodded at his own words, proving how stern he was on it. "Plus, you know the paint is toxic for you."

He bopped her nose and she wrinkled it at the touch. "I know." She relented, smiling up at him. "Although, I find you to be a bit whiny about it." She chuckled, sending him a grin.

"But what I’m saying is true!" He exclaimed, his lips twitching into a pout. "The paint smells horrible and I think I have some in my nose."

"Gross, Doctor." Amy said, making a face of disgust directed to him.

River couldn’t help but laugh. She examined the Doctor’s face for an instant, he had paint streaking his fringe and every prominent features of his face where covered in paint, like the tip of his nose, his chin or his cheekbones. He looked ridiculous, she loved it.

She brought a hand to his cheek, turning his face in her hand. "This pale shade of yellow looks wonder on you, at least I know that if the colour looks quite good on the walls, it looks magnificent on you." She chuckled, observing him with eyes of mischief. "Look at you, all dirty and sweaty. You have no wonder of the thoughts swirling through my mind." She snickered.

"River!" The Doctor gasped, throwing an alarmed look at Amy, the latter looking at them with a mixture of disgust and wonder. His cheeks reddened by the second and he hesitated in saying that it wasn’t true. But knowing River, he had no doubt it indeed was. "Don’t say that sort of things in front of your mother." He breathed out in her direction.

River bursted out laughing. 

—

The Doctor huffed out, sitting back down on his butt, a crestfallen expression on his face. "That’s it. I’m giving up." He breathed out loudly, defeated.

River looked up from her position on the bed, leaving her work of assembling little pieces of woods together, at the Doctor’s command. She saw him brush at his fringe with the back on his hand, removed the sweat from his brows in exasperation.

He glanced up, looking at her, a pout beginning to replace the irritated expression adorning his features. She frowned, giving him an inquiring look.

He huffed, leaning back on his hands, stretching his achy limbs on the floor. "This bloody thing is i _mpossible_ to build. It’s pure madness!" He threw his hand in the air, waving them faintly at the piece of furniture in front of him, or rather what was supposed to be one.

At that moment, it looked more like a pile of wooden slabs scattered in their bedroom. River felt a pang of sadness at his sight, the crestfallen expression on his face showing his resignation.

He swatted his hand in frustration at the piece of wood falling back on him, sighing loudly.

River frowned, biting back a grin. "It’s only a bed, sweetie." She tried, intending to reassure him the best she could.

"Oh, no," He began to shake his head vehemently. "This is not a simple bed, this is a work of torture. This is wrong on so many levels." He exclaimed, "First, the instructions are supposed to be _easy_ to understand, but they’re bloody _not_." He sighed, passing a hand in front of his face. "And I don’t have ten hands! This thing keeps falling down wherever I’m not holding it."

He waved his hand at it faintly but didn’t even have the strength to be angry at it. River pursed her lips into a compassionate look, feeling like he’s had had too much put on his back and he wasn’t keeping up anymore.

"That’s not even how beds work." He relented in irritation, sighing to himself. "It’s barely a cradle but it’s already so hard to build."

River pressed her lips together to suppress a laugh, she thought the Doctor wouldn’t like her mocking him. "Well, give me the manual and I’ll help you."

She removed the small pieces of wood cluttered around her and moved to the edge of the bed, sitting cross legged, her bump resting between her legs. She outstretched her hand in his direction, asking for the manual without a sound. The Doctor relented after a second, giving it to her with a frustrated swat of the hand. "I don’t see how you’d see how it works better than I do. I’m not stupid or anything."

River hummed under her breath, taking the manual in hand and turning it to the right angle. She didn’t comment on the way he mumbled under his breath about his intelligence and him being very good on his own. She simply bit back a grin.

Observing the instructions, she glanced back up at the assembled parts in front of her, squinting her eyes as she looked back and forth at the manual. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the Doctor looking at her with an awaiting gaze, trying to decipher her frowns and squint of the eyes. 

After a second, she cast her glance at the Doctor, "This doesn’t look at all like what is shown on the manual."

"I know!" The doctor exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

River pursed her lips into a faint smile, considering telling him that it was probably not because of the manual itself but rather because of the Doctor who had a tendency to make his own things _without_ manuals. The construction resulting into a rightful mess.

Throwing a glance at him and his defeated expression, she bit back her comment. "Uh," She cleared her throat and shifting in the bed. "I’ll walk you through the instructions and we’ll see how it goes. And please, remove all the things you’ve assembled already, it doesn’t look like anything."

The Doctor scoffed, feeling quite ridiculous to ask for help when he could do something perfectly well, given the manual gave the right instructions and not some rubbish pictures.

River saw the expression on the Doctor’s face and grinned, it was the expression that said _I’m better than everyone and this is not my fault such thing is wrongly done_. She rolled her eyes at his idiocy. "Or, we could call dad for it."

"No," The Doctor said hastily, "We don’t need _Rory_ , I’m not _that_ bad." He grumbled with a sigh. Leaning back on his elbows, he let out a long sigh that called for attention. "I’m rubbish at this. I can’t even build a little something without it turning into a mess. I mean, look at me, I’m just rubbish at everything that I do. I don’t even know how I’m going to be able to—"

"Stop it," River cut him, intending to remove this defeated look on his face in an instant. "Stop it, whatever you’re thinking, stop it." The Doctor glanced at her, a forlorn look in his eyes. "You’re not rubbish, you’re brilliant. And you will be, so stop." She gave him a soft smile that he imitated with one of his own. "Now, stop mumbling and help me build this thing."

He rolled his eyes, straightening up and brushing his dirty hands against his trousers. "Yes, Ma’am."

She threw a wooden twill at his face, he squeaked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a simple chapter depicting the Doctor in his normal behaviour; being a child.
> 
> Chapter title by X Ambassadors with 'Renegade'.


	18. This Love We Found, Is One in a Million

— 32 weeks pregnant —

"Why isn’t she kicking when I’m asking her to?" Shari whined, looking up at River’s face questioningly as her hands roamed over River’s swollen stomach. "She always responds to you or the Doctor, do you think she doesn’t like me much? That would be horrible!"

"She doesn’t _always_." River replied with a shrug of her shoulders, keeping her hands under her bump as she adjusted her position on the couch. "You know she’s not going to respond every time you ask for it, eh." She said, casting a glance at her friend. "She already has her own mind and knows very well how to frustrate us."

Shari pouted, jutting her lower lip out like a child. She removed her hands from River’s belly, preferring to cuddle against her side now. "But she always responds to you, that’s not fair."

River chuckled, "She doesn’t, really. Of course I’m going to feel her move because she’s _inside_ of me. And I actually have to count how many times she moves within a day, so yeah, I’m pretty aware of her." She relented, tilting her head to the side to lay it atop Shari’s. "Although, no, she has a tendency not to respond when I really need her to do so."

Humming, Shari nuzzled her face into her shoulder, "This must feel weird, having a person inside of you, kicking you and such. That would terrify me."

River let out a soft chuckle, "Oh, it depends. The first times you feel her move it’s very, _very_ strange. It still is sometimes." She fell silent and a grin grew on her face. "But then sometime she will kick you in the rib or the bladder and this is more annoying than anything." She chuckled to herself, feeling Shari snort against her. "I know she has her head down now because the pressure on the bladder is worse than ever. I have to go to the loo at least _six_ times per night."

Laughing out, Shari patted her stomach softly in compassion. "Look at your mummy, she’s grumpy. I think it’s your fault."

"It’s not," River exclaimed, stroking her belly tenderly. She would never find her child faulty for what she was going through in the last months of her pregnancy. She was, in a way, glad to be feeling these, albeit uncomfortable. They were a sign she was approaching her time, thus approaching her Freya’s arrival. "And I’m not grumpy, it’s just that I’m way too acquainted with the walls of the bathroom to find it reasonable."

Shari raised an eyebrow at her, she swatted her off with a roll of the eyes.

"Also," She continued, "I know it’s Freya’s usual time for a nap, which is thus mine too." She eyed her friend with a pointed look, ignoring Shari’s fake-outraged expression at the mere mention that she wasn’t welcomed at this hour. River laughed it off. "That’s what we all should be doing anyway."

Shari swatted at her with mischief. On the other side of the room, River heard the Doctor hum in agreement. She turned her face to him, a small smile tugging at her lips at his sight. He was slouched on the armchair, his feet dangling off the edge and his head resting against his palm. His eyes were fighting off sleep and his hair were tousled as he nuzzled his face against the cushion.

His eyes drifted to her as he felt her gaze on him. They shared a grin. The Doctor repositioned his head on the cushion, letting out a sleepy sigh. He wasn’t even the pregnant one but he was as exhausted as her. Being the father seemed as tiresome< as being the one bearing the child.

With a smile, she turned her face back to the television. "What is this show, anyways?" Shari grumbled at her side, placing her head on River’s shoulder. "This doesn’t make any kind of sense and it looks ridiculous." She tilted her head to the side for a better view of the television, not seeing the meaning of it more clearly.

"That’s what I said." The Doctor chimed in with a laugh but squeaked as he received a cushion right in the face. Dropping the cushion to his chest, he cast a glare in River’s direction and stuck out his tongue as she giggled.

"It’s a fun show, okay." She said petulantly, throwing him a glare as she crossed her arms over her chest. It doesn’t have to be very intellectual to be interesting, does it? And believe me, when you’ll be eight months pregnant and you’ll be able to do nothing but sit down, you’ll enjoy everything that’s on TV."

Shari grinned, placing her arms around her shoulders and making River groan as she had even less space to move. "Oh, look at you," Shari sing-songed with a mocking gurgle. "You can’t move and you look like a small blimp. That is so cute."

River directed her glare from the Doctor to Shari, catching how his eyebrows rose as their friend spoke, knowing full well she was getting herself in a delicate situation. She squared her jaw at her friend, "If I had any cushion left I would take one to strangle you."

Shari gave her a bright grin as a response, knowing full well River could, and would, do that if she had the chance. River shook her head in exasperation. Her friend was definitely the annoying-but-loved kind of friend. She met her like that and she feared she would never change, but in the end she didn’t really want her to change. Shari was Shari, wild and bold. Never to be changed.

River stroked her stomach absentmindedly. "Oh, look," She said to Shari, her hand stilling on her stomach. "You woke her up." Taking Shari’s hand, she placed it on top of her bump, at the exact place her daughter had kicked her mere moments ago. Her friend gasped at the touch and River couldn’t help but giggle.

They could actually see River’s skin stretching underneath her top, and although this had been a familiar sight for her she relished in the awe it brought to Shari’s face. Freya’s little feet or hand pushed against River skin as a protest for the interruption of her nap, her mother simply smiled at that.

Shari looked at the bump in amazement, "This is so weird." She breathed out, her eyes flickering from her to her bump. "It’s as if you had an alien inside of you."

"Well," River trailed off with a smirk, sending a look at the Doctor.

"Don’t." He deadpanned, squinting his eyes at her.

She giggled, throwing her hands in the air in surrender. "I didn’t say anything! She’s the one who said it, I did nothing!"

He shook his head, a faint grin tugging at his lips, and turned his face back to the television. River did the same, shifting slightly on the couch as she felt she would soon need to go to the bathroom again. The only bad side with Shari spending the afternoon at their house was her increasing amusement as River felt the need to go and pee every hour or so. So far, Shari increasingly laughed three times as she stood up that same three times to take possession of the bathroom.

The Doctor only grinned at her, saying nothing.

"So," Shari spoke up after an instant, "Are you two going to do something for Valentine’s day, given I just met this wonderful girl and a double date sounds fabulous to me?"

River glanced at her, her lips twitching into a faint grimace. She turned her face to the Doctor, waiting for his facial expression to give a response. Going by his faint crease between his brows and his jutted lips, he had the same idea in mind.

"Well, I thought that what we would do would actually consist of sharing a bowl of ice cream, watching some crap on telly and going to sleep before 9." River replied, checking off the things that looked the more attractive to her at the moment. She cast a glance at the Doctor, waiting for his acknowledgement. "What do you think, sweetie?"

A grin twitched at the corner of his lips. "That's all that I’ve ever wanted for a Valentine’s day with my heavily pregnant wife." She couldn’t help but send him a glare at his ‘heavily’ comment but it soon dissolved into a grin of her own.

They understood each other on that point. Nothing was better than doing nothing at all.

"Urgh," Shari groaned beside her, making a disgusted face. "You two already act like old married people. That’s not even fun." She pouted. River patted her arm in compassion. Maybe they were acting like old people right now, but the fun was very present. "It’s okay, though. I’ll enjoy a full night of sex on my own." She stuck her tongue at River but the latter raised an eyebrow.

"What says we won’t?" She chuckled, sending her a smirk. 

Shari wrinkled her nose in disgust.

—

River stroked the Doctor’s hair, lying on her side as she watched him close his eyes in contentment. "She’s kicking so much right now." He whispered in the night as his hand rested on her stomach, caressing the soft skin with delicate fingers.

"Well, if you stopped playing with her." River replied in an amused tone. It made him open his eyes, looking back at her. A grin twitched at the corner of his lips, he let out a sigh and stretched his hand over her swollen bump. "You know I can feel _everything_ that you do, it’s my skin over there." It made his smile stretch. "You’re nearly poking at my stomach for her, and of course she responds, of course she _would_."

The Doctor gave her a smirk, bringing his hand up for an instant to bop her nose. He lifted himself on his elbow and looked down at where his hand had returned on her bump, a besotted smile on his face. "She responds to my pokes because she knows it’s _me_ poking."

"I would think no less of _your_ daughter." She chuckled, stilling his roaming hand with her own atop. "But I think she responds because she’s rather annoyed by the intrusion in the small space she has left."

He hummed, "She stills knows it’s me, she can’t be annoyed at me, I’m her father. You can’t be annoyed by someone you love, even if she may not know what love is but… well, anyway." He chuckled to himself and she raised an eyebrow, practically sure one could be annoyed by a loved one. The Doctor caught her gaze and rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

A smile escaped her as he dropped his head back on the pillow, peeking at her through his tousled fringe. He opened his arms to her and she scooted closer, rounding an arm around his waist and wriggling as close as she could with her bump between them two.

She laid her head on his shoulder, nuzzling her face against the soft texture of his pyjama top. He smelled good, his scent all around her. She could feel him stroke her curls absentmindedly, his mouth pressed against the crown of her head where he laid small kisses.

She made a small sound of contentment at the back of her throat, enjoying this moment of rest. She liked cuddling with the Doctor, a thing she hadn’t really been able to do as of lately because of, first, the prominent bump in front of her, second, the back aches that were frankly not that pleasant.

She should certainly stop thinking about it, but she couldn’t help herself when she felt her back would crumble into pieces in an instant. "Urgh," She groaned, "That bloody _bump_." She detangled herself from the Doctor for a moment, taking the pillow laying nearby and placing it between her legs, which weirdly enough released the pain mostly.

The Doctor snorted against her when she resettled into his side. "If you wanted something between your leg you should have asked for me." He said smugly.

She looked up at his face in the dimmed light, a raised eyebrow in place. He only smirked further, wriggling his nonexistent eyebrows at her. She rolled his eyes at his idiocy, "Stop teasing me." She let out a sigh, nuzzling her face back into his shoulder.

The Doctor pressed her at his side. "Who said I was teasing?" He whispered into her hair.

She looked up, eyebrows arched, "What about the ‘we can’t have sex, River, I’m going to touch the baby’s head’ conversation we had a few days ago?" Even with his face half hidden by her shadow, she saw him blush. "You know I’ve always praised your _manhood_ , but I don’t think it can reach that point. I’m sorry to bruise your ego, sweetie."

He shook his head, letting out a long sigh as he hid his face in her hair. "It was a dumb thing to say, I’ve made my researches now." He said, making River arch an eyebrow with interest. "I know better than to say stupid things now."

River chuckled, brushing the hair falling in his eyes and patting his chest in sympathy. "And rightly so."

The Doctor caught her hand in his own, pulling her face to him until their lips met. It took only a second for River to kiss him back, having missed those intimate moments which had been rather sparse for a few weeks.

She let out a small moan as the Doctor placed a hand on her cheek, angling her face to his as he nibbled at her lips. She opened her mouth underneath his, bringing her hand to his hair and pulling him closer.

If she could have been able to roll her hips against his, she would have. But she contented herself with riding a leg over his hips, gasping as he grasped her thigh with want. She felt him push her onto her back, their lips never leaving each other as they gasped for air, her more than him.

Their position was awkward, she was on her back but he was lying on his side, obviously not able to be on top of her. She broke the kiss, panting, and sighed. "Urgh, why is sex so difficult nowadays?"

The Doctor chuckled, leaning on his elbow. He brushed a curl behind her ear, "Here, I have an idea." He sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard and beckoned her between his legs. "I know it’s not comfortable for you, so let’s try something else." She frowned at him, sitting up. "Come on, pants off and lie against me." He chuckled.

She raised an eyebrow but he indulged her with his eyes, patting the space before him. After a second of hesitation, she wiggled out of her pyjama bottom and knickers and came to lay her back to his front.

He rounded his hands around her bump, leaving them at her hips. "You comfortable there?" She nodded, shifting a bit to find the better position. She leaned back against his chest, lifting her head to his face with a soft smile. His hands travelled at her hips, tickling her at some places. She bit back a grin, opening her legs as she watch his lips curl into a smile of his own. 

His hands ghosted over her curls, barely touching them, it made her squirm. She let out a hot breath against his neck, "I can’t even see what you’re doing with the bump in front of me."

He grinned against her hair, looking down at her. "I know." He breathed out, his lips trailing down her forehead to her temple. "I know it better with closed eyes than you do."

Before River could reply, she gasped as his cold fingers touched her sex. He began to circle them around her clit, adding pressure where he knew would make her squirm in his arms. She let out a faint moan, dropping her head on his shoulder, her mouth hanging slightly ajar.

Turning her face to his neck, she dropped kisses there, leaving small bites as she breathed out in pleasure. "You like that, eh?" She nodded, her face pressed into his neck. He shifted her slightly in his arms, gripping a thigh tightly and feeling her wetness at her entrance. 

One good part of pregnancy was how easily she could be turned on.

She gasped as he entered two fingers inside of her, curling them right where he knew would pleasure her. Grasping at his arm, she panted against his ear as he pumped his fingers in and out of her, his thumb teasing her clit in the process.

She pressed herself further against him, opening her legs more widely and squirming to add pressure. She could feel his erection behind her back, a sign that he was as eager as she was. Her head bobbed against his shoulder, moaning as he fucked her with his fingers.

"I want you." She breathed out between pants. "I want you."

He nuzzled his face against her hair, "I’m right here." His mouth trailed down to her neck to nibble at her earlobe, leaving open mouthed kisses at the nape of her neck. She made wanton noises of pleasure as he did so, feeling herself drifting into a shattering orgasm.

"St—stop." She whispered, squeezing his arm. She felt the Doctor frown against her but he stopped his ministration.

"Are you alright?" He asked in a whisper, concern in his voice.

She simply nodded in response. "Lay on your back, remove pants." She said, her words the same as he told her a few moments ago. The Doctor did as told without hesitation. He struggled out of his boxers, his erection freed from its confinement.

Lying on his back, he brought River to him and let her straddle his hips. "You’re okay like that?" He asked but gasped when she took his member in hand. She nodded vehemently, lifting herself slightly to sink down on him. They moaned in unison, her warm core enveloping him fully.

River shifted atop him, placing a hand over her bump as she adjusted to the sensation. The feeling wasn’t the same as usual, it felt quite different, but equally good.

The Doctor placed his hands at her hips, eyeing her with concern at the faces she was making. "Riv?"

She looked up at him, a smile stretching on her lips. "The sensation’s funny. Feels a bit like first times."

"Good or bad?"

River pursed her lips into a smile, "Good."

She began to rock her hips against his and his head dropped back against the pillow. She liked this position, she was in control, she could see his face as he came apart. She intended to make him come apart right this instant.

His mouth was ajar and his eyes closed, all his thoughts focused on their movements. River rocked her hips, knowing that she would not need much more to come with the ministration of his that put her right off the edge.

Rolling her hips was a harder job than she thought, her midsection being less malleable than before. She decided on rocking her hips in rhythm with his own rocking, which was much more noticeable than her own.

Letting out a puff of breath, she dropped her head to her chest, closing her eyes as she leaned with her hands on his chest. She knew she was much ahead of him but she could already feel her climax coming and engulfing her in a state of bliss.

She felt the Doctor grip on her hips tighten and her body jerked as her orgasm rode through her, a loud moan escaping her as she bit her lips and saw stars behind her eyes. The Doctor crumpled beneath her with a long moan, panting, spent of his own orgasm.

After a few second where the stars receded and she could finally breathe without difficulty, she opened her eyes, blinking several time at the dimmed light of the room. She caught the Doctor’s gaze on her, smiling. She pursed her lips into a smile, brushing at her hair falling in front of her face. "Impractical but still enjoyable." She breathed out, making the Doctor’s chest rumble with laughter underneath her.

River slipped off him, coming to lie by his side. The Doctor turned to her, rounding his hands around her and nuzzling his face in her chest. She sighed, trying to regain her normal breathing, brushing the locks of hair mattered against his temple and placing a hand around his chest.

Snuggled against her side, the Doctor began to chuckle to himself. River looked down at him with a slight frown, giving him an inquiring expression. "What?"

"I just realised," The Doctor pushed his face away from her to look into her eyes, a laughter in his eyes. He brought a hand to her curls, repressing a chuckle. "This is as close we ever got to a threesome."

River gasped at him, slapping his arm, making him squeak in the process as he began to laugh. "Don’t say things like that!" He bursted out laughing, cowering under her slap. She huffed, shaking her head at his idiocy. "You totally killed the mood. You’re disgusting."

He laughed, nuzzling his face back into her chest. "I’m sorry, Riv." With a chuckle, he placed his hand on her bump, "I’m sorry Freya, do as if you heard nothing."

River let out a long sigh, rolling her eyes at him. He was the worst, the _worst_. Urgh, that man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I speak for the Doctor when I say that I am sorry for this last joke on his.
> 
> Chapter title by Hurts with 'Magnificent'.


	19. I Said Here That’s Where I’ll Be Living Until My Times Up

— 35 weeks pregnant —

River stood up from her chair with a bit of difficulty, leaning on the table as she extricated herself from the confined place, which could only be called confined for her, and only her. With an internal sigh, she made her way to the countertop and put the kettle on, her eyes drifting from reality as she watched the kettle slowly starting to whistle.

Since the last few weeks, she’d noticed some new things happening to her body as the term was coming up fast. First, she had began to waddle, as in a literal waddle. She couldn’t remember when was the last time she saw her feet and her breast were going to explode. She had actually swallowed a planet.

Her feet hurt, her back hurt; everything hurt, really. And yes, she complained to the Doctor in the wee hours of the morning, that was partly his fault.

Her bump had finally succeeded in shifting her center of gravity, if this wasn’t something phenomenal! For the first time in her pregnancy she realised that they were _two_ in her body, two _grown_ person. She did know her baby wasn’t big, just average and fortunately so, but she felt quite enormous.

Maybe her belly would have stopped expanding by now, surely it would have! Apparently not. She would soon have a baby the size of a watermelon inside of her and she didn’t find that strange in the slightest. She really did, actually. Really, _really_ did.

Trying to focus on something else than her growing stomach, River smiled. They had started counting down now, checking off the days before going to sleep. Only a few weeks left, a month at the most. She could do that, she could do _only a few weeks left_. It was easy, weeks! What were weeks when one had been expecting for nearly nine months. 

In a week or two, her daughter would be granted green light to come out, even though she probably wouldn’t come that soon. This was the Doctor’s daughter for heaven’s sake! She simply hoped she would decide to come out quicker than in the next twelve years. That would be a relief on her daughter’s punctuality.

River sighed to herself. She loved her daughter, she really _did_ , she was way too eager to meet her. But the end of one’s pregnancy was of the most irritating and frustrating. It was getting pure madness, and her poor nerves! So many things irritated her right now…

First, she hadn’t seen her feet for the past months. This was embarrassing, and quite strange when thinking about it. It was when she couldn’t see a part of herself that she realised how important it was. Plus, the combination of waddling and hidden feet was not very good on her. She even had to ask for help when standing up at times. This was so embarrassing.

The Doctor chuckled at her when it happened, she grumbled her annoyance.

Second, she had lost the notion of what a ‘good night of sleep’ meant. She hadn’t had a proper night of sleep for _months_. Either her back ached, she needed to pee or Freya had decided on a little dance session inside of her womb. All of those things were uncomfortable to be lived through.

She couldn’t even go to sleep when she was feeling somewhat comfortable. Her mind swirled with thoughts, and yes, nesting was real. She occupied her free time in watching the Doctor sleep, trying very hard not to be jealous. Sometimes she felt more rested after looking at him snore slightly. It was so adorable it comforted her in her desire to sleep—

She was stopped mid-thought by a familiar pain contracting the muscles around her belly, the pain travelling through her whole body in an instant. She winced, bracing her hands against the countertop, her knuckles turning white.

"River?"

"I’m fine." She gritted through clenched teeth, the Doctor’s voice coming at an inappropriate time. She breathed through her nostrils, exhaling a long breath as she focused of evacuating the pain. "It’s Braxton Hicks." She added, pressing her lips together. 

After a second, the pain slowly receded away, leaving her to breathe more freely. She let out a short breath, closing her eyes as she dropped her chin to her chest. Well, this was the third annoying point. Contractions. Braxton Hicks more so. Funny how her body thought a little preview of what was to come seemed necessary. At least she knew what to expect. That, but ten times worse. Good.

When the pain had faded away, she turned to the Doctor, leaning on the countertop. Her eyes flickered to his face, he was looking at her with concern in his eyes. He always did that, a mixture of anxiousness and concern tinting his features whenever she went through a contraction.

"Stop it." She said, turning back to the kettle and pouring the hot water in her mug. She walked back to her chair at the table. The Doctor offered a tilted face, one that smugly tried to hide his concern. He wasn’t fooling anyone. "Stop it." She repeated. "Stop worrying about it, sweetie. It’s contractions, it’s normal. I’m ready to pop, my body’s getting ready for that challenge." She shrugged. "We had our time for freak out, remember. Now hush." She smiled.

The Doctor hummed, looking up at her from the rim of his mug. He smiled tentatively at her. She knew him too much, his smile was very poorly made, he worried still.

She gave him a compassionate smile. "Don’t stress over it. It’s very short and I’m quite used to them now." He placed his mug back on the table, giving her a purse-lipped smile. At least that was something, she thought. Leaning slightly over the table, she took his hand in her own, lacing their fingers together. He squeezed her hand. "Keep you anxious looks to when I’m _actually_ going to be in labour. I think you’ll provide a good distraction." She grinned, tracing his knuckles with her thumb. "You’ll be the one I’ll rely on."

The Doctor let out a faint chuckle. He turned her hands palms up and began to trace the lines of each finger delicately. For a few seconds, he stayed focused on her hands, analysing them like a sacred book. But then, he lifted his eyes to her, a soft smile twitching at his lips.

"I just feel… useless. You’re in pain and I can’t do anything. I’d like to help, in any way I can, but I know and can’t well do anything to give you some sort of _relief_." He sighed. "You’re hurting and I can’t do anything. That’s a strange feeling…"

River stopped his caress as she took his hands back in her owns, squeezing his fingers tight. "But you do. Your mere presence helps me." She smiled, her lips soon twitching into a smirk as she saw the forlorn expression on his face. "First, you put up with me and my enormous belly. I think it’s an achievement in itself."

This made the Doctor snort, succeeding in get out a grin of his face. "What about _you_ putting up with _me_?"

River shook her head, rolling her eyes at his idiocy. Right this moment, she felt like she was being the more petulant of the two with all her complaining and pouting. She squeezed his hand, giving him a pur smile. "It’s true, I’m serious. You’re doing so much, _so much_ for me. It’s…" She paused, opening and closing her mouth several times in a row. "You’re wonderful. You’re helping me getting through everything that is difficult and complicated. You don’t whine and you don’t ask for anything in return."

"Why should I?" He replied, watching her as she tilted her head to the side, contemplating him with admiration. "You are so strong." He stated. "That’s the least I can do, helping you. You’re doing all the work in this pregnancy, I— I think it’s only right I relieve you of the most difficult things." He shrugged, letting out a small chuckle. "Plus, I know you hate when I whine. So I don’t…" He grimaced. "Try not to."

A chuckle escaped River’s lips, she shook her head with a smile covering her face. "Don’t get all mushy on me. You know I’m doped with hormones right now and breakfast is not a good time to cry. It’s never a good time to cry out of _hormones_."

The Doctor laughed. "I’m not all mushy. I’m just _me_." He replied, to which River muttered _same thing_ with a roll of her eyes. A smug smile grew on his face and she saw him bit his lips in amusement as she tried to keep her emotions under control. "Also," He added, "I _love_ getting you all emotional."

River grumbled her annoyance, lifting her eyes to the ceiling. The Doctor suddenly stood up and leaned all the way over the table, close to colliding with the mugs and things cluttered on it. He took her face in his hand and planted a kiss over her lips before she could even register what he was doing.

She let out a surprised noise but was soon to melt into the kiss, taking his face in her hands and bringing him closer. She obviously couldn’t get closer herself with the person between them.

She hummed into the kiss as he swiped his tongue over her lips, teasing her slightly. He tasted like tea and too much sugar and she couldn’t help but nibble at his lips. He grinned into her.

When he pulled away from the after a few seconds, River felt more breathless than she should. Her eyes blinked open and she smiled as she saw the Doctor looking at her with a besotted smile on his face, surely full of himself now. She loved him way too much for his own good.

He pecked her lips once again, grinning. "See," He spoke up, laying another peck. "You’re emotional now."

She laughed, swatting at his arm. "Shut up! It’s your fault."

He only smirked. Well, it kind of way in numerous ways.

—

River frowned at the paper before her eyes, rubbing at her stomach absentmindedly as she tried to comprehend what was written on it. They had been given a list of what to bring for the baby at the hospital, and apparently they would need a _lot_ of things. 

After a minute of trying to decipher what was what, River sighed, looking up at the Doctor from her position on the bed. The latter was crouched beside the dresser, rummaging inside of it with deep interest, or maybe just bewilderment.

"Are you 100% sure we can only bring one single bag for the baby?" River asked, dropping the sheet of paper to her lap. "I don’t see how we can put _that much_ in a tiny bag like that." She placed her hands on the open bag before her, which, by all means, was not that tiny at all. The amount of stuffs to bring was what made it look tiny. It was always surprising to see how much babies needed, like, _twelve_ diapers a day?

The Doctor looked up with a hum, nodding. He stood up from his crouched position, stretched with a tired sigh and walked to the bed, flopping down on it. He examined the bag for a few seconds, pursing his lips into a frown, and made a sound at the back of his throat.

"I think we should just pack the bare minimum and, uhm," He frowned for an instant, tilting his head to the side before nodding to himself. "Yeah, I’ll definitely be able to take trips back to the TARDIS if we need to. It’ll be able to provide for anything." River nodded and the Doctor grinned, looking down at the bag. "Babies are high maintenance."

River hummed in agreement, taking back the paper to analyse it some more. "Come on, then," She pat his thigh and he readjusted his position on the bed, sitting cross legged. "I’ll read the list one last time and you tell me if we haven’t forgotten anything." The Doctor nodded, rummaging through the bag. "So, uhm, in the baby clothing section we have way too many outfits."

"It’s only two, Riv." The Doctor said after looking inside their bag.

"Oh, yeah?" She replied with a surprised look on her face. She looked back up at the Doctor, the latter giving her a nod of confirmation. "I thought it’d be more." She shrugged. "Then it’s good, I guess. We’ll bring more if they need more." The Doctor hummed. "So, then we have caps, socks and the blanket."

"Which is taking most of the space." The Doctor grumbled.

"Wait for the nappies." River rolled her eyes, a soft chuckle escaping her. "We should just chunk the whole bag of diapers with us. With the amount they ask, we could probably start a nappies castle."

"Yep." He nodded, "That would be fun." River rolled her eyes at his idiocy. Of could he would be the one to find that funny.

She watched him sit back on his butt, having finished rummaging inside the bag. He looked up at her, giving her a soft smile. She smiled in return, placing both hands on her bump as she felt her daughter kick. They were approaching the end, they knew it. The Doctor was all twitchy on his part, and she was (secretly) becoming a little more anxious about the delivery. Not that it scared her, at least not that _much_ , but she couldn’t help but have a little hint of worry.

This was a totally new experience for her, she didn’t know what to expect.

The Doctor placed his hands on top of hers, smiling down at her belly. "I think she’s as eager as us to arrive. She wants a part in the party now." River chuckled, she could feel the warmth emanating from her belly, relishing in the feel of it.

"Only a few weeks," The Doctor spoke up, "Not even a month left, not even thirty days. Can you believe that, the days passed so quickly." River nodded, brining a hand to his cheek and stroking it tenderly. He pressed his face into her hand, a grin growing on his face. "I feel like it was only yesterday you told me about it. I remember as if it was." He chuckled to himself, looking back into her eyes.

River grinned, "I can’t even remember what I looked like before inflating like a giant balloon." She laughed and the Doctor shook his head with a roll of his eyes.

He leaned closer, bringing her mouth to his. He placed a delicate kiss on her lips and she hummed softly into it. Bringing her hands to his jaw, she pulled him closer by the collar, lingering in his scent all around her.

This was one of those rare moments where they didn’t kiss from love or from lust, although there was always a bit of that, but no, they kissed as a silent _thank you_. Thank you for being here and thank you for supporting me.

River made a small sound of contentment at the back of her throat.

When the Doctor pulled away, he placed his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes. "I see no difference." River rolled her eyes at his response, he was so mushy and dramatic. "It’s true! Of course I loved your body before you fell pregnant." River opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her with his own words. "But I love your pregnant body as much and I will love the one after that with equal love. No matter those twenty pounds." River shook her head in amusement, swatting at his arm. He grinned, "Of course I love your body but you’re so much more than that. It’s not your body that I love, it’s— it’s just _you_."

River sighed, tracing the lines of his cheek with her fingers, their forehead still pressed to each other’s. "You’re too good for me."

"No," He said with a smile, pushing the some reckless curls behind her ears. He smiled up at her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before looking back into her eyes. "It’s you."

Her eyes flickered up to his own. She smiled, tenderly, "I love you."

She closed the distance with a kiss, humming against his lips. The Doctor’s hands moved to her bump, stroking it with love. And underneath her t-shirt, Freya kicked her approval.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think she's ready to pop about now, right? ;)
> 
> Chapter title by OneRepublic with 'Born'.


	20. The Unknown, Can You Do It?

— 38 weeks pregnant —

River shifted positions on the bed, tugging her pillow closer to her face and rearranging the one tucked between her thighs. Nowadays, finding a good position to _relax_ in was the hardest of labours. Her belly was taking most of the space, making it even harder now for cuddles and moments between the Doctor and herself.

Her back ached, this was extremely uncomfortable. She felt like someone had purposefully removed all flexibility inside of her muscles and joints. Although, there were two different types of backaches, the first being from strained muscles, the second being because of harsh contractions.

She was rather aiming for the second right this instant. 

She sighed, letting out a breath through her clenched teeth. Her eyes blinked open slowly, adjusting to the rays of sunshine filtering through the curtains before her. Her deep want of going back to sleep was of no use. She had been having contractions since she woke up earlier this morning, each ten to fifteen minutes apart. Her back ached, in the bad way of the word. And she was sweating.

Not that sweating was a symptom of labour. It was much more a symptom of _fuck I’m in labour_. Which could _not_ be the case. But which _could_ be the case. And this made her sweat even more. 

Maybe those were Braxton Hicks. But who was she kidding. She was already 38 weeks pregnant, everything was ready for Freya’s arrival because they _knew_ she could arrive any time soon. Somebody once told her real contractions were nothing like Braxton Hicks, it felt much more real. Stronger and with much more meaning behind them.

Somebody also told her when she would feel real contractions, we would know.

Well… The sweat was a dead giveaway. And her quickening heartsbeats were too.

River exhaled a long breath, she’s always imagined how the delivery would go, how much it would hurt, what she would feel through it. All those thoughts had been swirling inside her head for the past months, she’d had plenty of time to reassure herself on the matter.

But she’d never thought about what she would feel when she discovered she was _actually_ going into labour. The idea was foreign to her, quite fuzzy inside her mind. She felt a mix of thrill, worry and fear; in that order.

She felt a pressure into her pelvic, which was just slightly uncomfortable. Maybe she wasn’t _really_ into labour, maybe it was just… premises… The sensation was such as the one you get before having your period. Except she wasn’t going to have them, far from that. The farthest, really.

Alright, so, she might be getting into labour just now. This was… exciting, but quite terrified at the same time. It felt like going upstage for the first time, talking to an audience barely listening or quite, and rather so, like a leap of faith.

And so she should probably warn the Doctor, quickly.

And get out of bed, efficiently.

Those two things were rather hard to manage right now. The Doctor was downstairs, probably shouting at the Wii or wearing himself out running around the living room like a five-year-old. And getting out of bed was a bit of a struggle with the round planet attached to her middle, not to mention her achy back and trembling hands. 

Alright, she preferred getting up and struggling to do so rather than yell the Doctor’s name for fifteen minutes straight.

She exhaled a breath, _here I go_.

Rolling onto her other side, she lifted her upper body off the mattress, swinging her legs on the edge of the bed. She shifted in a seated position, sighing as she dropped her hands on her stomach, stroking it as the aftermath of the contraction had left it strained.

She dropped her eyes to her belly, smiling tenderly at its prominence. "Did you tell yourself today was a good time as any to come out?" She said, not waiting for a response on her child’s part. If she was actually in labour, she was sure her baby had something else to do than listen to her and have a proper discussion. "Alright, here we go."

She stood up with difficulty, holding on to the edge of the dresser before her. The stage of pregnancy which was often called _heavily pregnant as a planet_ was one of the most unpractical. She straightened, sighing in relief as she seemed to be stranding on her two feet without much difficulty.

But then she stopped in her tracks, feeling something wet trickle down her inner thighs and soaking her night shorts. She looked down, eyes wide with surprise. This didn’t look like blood and fortunately it wasn’t pee (which happened _once_ ). This left the guess to…

"Well, fuck." River breathed out. Her water just broke.

She didn’t have the time to fathom a thought that a violent contraction hit her, making her double over with a gasp. She hastily sat back on her bed, placing her hands back on her bump as she squeezed her eyes through the contraction.

Now that she couldn’t much move, she thought about opting for option number two. Yelling seemed like a good idea with now. Yes, definitely better. Definitely, _definitely_ better. _Oh shit_. 

—

After being the annoying one for a few weeks, Amy had taken pity on the Doctor and set him off to the Wii, making him discover all the possibilities that held this console full of video games. What was initially a distraction imposed by Amy soon turned out into an addiction.

The console was here to help with his fidgety limbs and numerous fits of stress when the number of River’s contraction rose too high for an instant. It had nothing to do with his worried nature and everything to do with River’s due date approaching fast. Oh, who was he kidding, it was kinda both.

And he’d been quite forcefully pushed into staying still in the living room, occupying his hours with either the Wii or legos or colouring books; to which he’s developed quite the passion as the child he was.

The Wii was great though, it drained his anxiousness away and tired him more efficiently for a good and rested night. And it also helped him focus his attention on River when she needed it, which was quite frequent and beyond herself.

"And another match won by Doctor!" He exclaimed and whooped his hands in the air in victory. He climbed on top of the couch and made a little dance of glee, brushing his fringe out of his face with the back of his hands. "Roger Federer better watch his back." He wrung his remote in the air, the object falling back into his clumsy hands with a bit of difficulty.

He plopped down on the couch with a sigh, dropping his head against the headboard and looking up at the ceiling. Blowing his hair out of his eyes, he let out an exhausted breath. Tennis was a widely exhausting game, really.

He lifted his head back to look at the clock on the wall. 11 am. He had been playing on the Wii for nearly two hours, no wonder he was that exhausted, he hadn’t seen the time fly by.

But now he looked at the television in front of him, a sigh escaping his mouth. Occupying himself was fun to some extends, but right now he felt rather bored. He’d worn out every game of the console in a few days and now had nothing else to do but do _nothing_.

Time was no fun when River wasn’t around.

River had been in bed for the whole morning, as every morning for about a week or so. He couldn’t really chastise her about it. He would rather stay in bed with her when she didn’t feel like waking up, well, he’d done that for a few days, watching her sleep and get cranky and then back to sleep.

But then, and he felt bad for thinking that, but he got pretty bored. He was a restless man, he couldn’t change that. And he was even more restless with River going into labour at any moment of the day, the night, anytime really. This _was_ stressful.

"Doctor!"

He was startled out of his thought as he heard his name being called from upstairs. He straightened on the couch, lifting his head to the ceiling with a frown. Did someone actually called him or was he simply losing his mind? He waited for a few seconds, seated on the edge of the couch.

"Doctah!"

His eyes widened and he nearly pushed himself away from the couch. This was definitely River yelling for him "Yeah?" He yelled back, his hearts missing a beat. "What’s wrong? Why are you yelling?" He couldn’t even chuckle as the thought he was himself yelling.

"Come the _fuck_ up!"

"Wha— Why?" He exclaimed, standing up abruptly. "What’s happening? What’s wrong? Riv?" His mind began to swirl with thoughts of the baby, of River injured, of all the worse things he could think about right now.

"Come the fuck up!" She repeated, her voice straining through the walls. There was a hint of worry in her tone.

Without thinking about anything, he threw the Wii remote on the couch and dashed upstairs. He climbed the stairs two at the time and rushed into their bedroom, opening the door with a jolt.

His eyes instantly fell on River and she looked up at him abruptly at his arrival. He tried to regain his breath, his eyes taking the seen before him. She was seated on the bed, her hands braced on either side of the mattress and a worried expression on her face.

"What’s wrong? Wh— What’s happening?" He asked frantically, trying to decipher her expression with his eyes. Are you, uhm… Are you hurt or Freya…" He breathed out.

"No, I’m fine, we’re fine." She looked up at him with a calm face, calmer than she had been a moment before and certainly calmer than he was himself. "My water broke." She stated and the Doctor let out a long and reassured sigh.

He passed a hand before his face, brushing his tousled fringe out of his eyes. "You scared the hell out of me for a second there," He breathed out and ruffled his hair. "I thought it was about the baby." He trailed off, his eyes leaving her as he try to regain normal hearts beats.

River raised an eyebrow and bit her tongue, wondering if he was really _that_ stupid. Her gaze never left him and she clenched her jaw into an annoyed grimace. Her hands were bracing the sheets on either sides of her. And she waited for his sudden realisation.

She gave him three seconds. He had three seconds for the _fucking_ realisation to dawn up on him. One, two, thr—

"Wait…" The Doctor turned back to her, his eyes squinting into an undecipherable look. "Do— Do you mean your water broke as in the amniotic fluid containing our baby teared? As in you’ve gone into labour?" He clasped his hands against his mouth, suppressing a squeak.

"Well, shit Sherlock!" She gritted out. "How long did you bloody need to figure that out?"

"Oh, fuck!" He exclaimed between his hands, his eyes wide staring at her. Dropping his hand from his mouth, he stayed awestruck at her sight, unable to move an inch.

He took the time to analyse her. First, he saw that the more silent he was, the more annoyed she was getting. Probably his fault, surely. Second, she had a crease between her brows and gripped the edge of the mattress, her knuckles white at the strain. Third, she was white as a sheet.

"You’re freaking out." He breathed out, his voice wavering.

" _You’re_ freaking out." She replied, her voice faint.

"Well, yes, damn." He brushed his hair out of the way, his hands twitchy. "That was bound to happen anyway, let it flow. But… you’re freaking out."

She looked at him for a second, her chin beginning to wobble. She closed her mouth left slightly open, turned her eyes to the side.

In two step he was by her side, kneeling down before her and taking her hands in his own, squeezing her fingers tight. "River, hey…" He took her chin in hand, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes were glazed over, tears threatening to rise up if she let the emotion of the moment overwhelm her. "River, river." He smiled up at her, beaming against his own confusing emotions. He bit his lips, a small chuckle escaping his lips. "Everything’s fine, everything's perfect. I’m here."

And for a moment, he was beautiful. He wasn’t fidgety, he wasn’t twitchy or worried or _scared to death_. He was her rock and he was being the responsible and the sane one. His eyes were telling her he was taking charge of everything. He was telling her _lean on me and trust me in this_.

She nodded.

They got interrupted by Amy rushing into the room, Scottishness emanating from her. "Is it time yet? Oh my God, it _is_ time. Yes? Yes, eh?"

They both turned their eyes to her, the Doctor nodded once to her. "Yes."

"Oh my God! Oh my bloody Gosh!" Amy clasped her hands in the air, a big grin adorning her face. "This is _so_ cool."

River groaned while her mother whooped in front of her. A new contraction hit her and she squeezed the Doctor’s hand tightly, being the only thing close to her to bear the pain. She made a grimace and his attention instantly turned back to her, a worried look setting on his face.

"Urgh," River groaned, trying to breath out through the pain. "Definitely not Braxton Hicks." She opened her eyes to look at the Doctor, he offered her a genuine smile full of comfort. Looking up at the ceiling, she let out a long breath as the contraction receded.

The Doctor squeezed her hands when he knew she was through with the contraction. She looked down at her and he brought her hands to his lips, kissing her knuckles. He then stood up and took the bag that had being laying at the foot of the bed for several weeks now.

He plopped the heavy bag on Amy’s arms, startling her out of her daydream. "Bring this to the TARDIS, we’ll be right with you." Amy did as ordered and rushed down the corridor and out of their sight.

When the Doctor turned back to River, she grinned. "What did you do to make her go away this quickly? I never succeeded in doing this myself." She said, an impressed look in her eyes.

The Doctor laughed, coming back to her side. "This is all in the stern eyes and eyebrows." River shook her head at his idiocy and he took her hands, "Ready to get up?"

River nodded and he pulled her up to him. She was surprised as he pulled her against his chest, placing his arms around he shoulder and snuggling his face into her hair. He breathed her in her sight in the crook of her neck and she chuckled faintly, caressing his back. "Don’t freak out." She whispered, the sound barely audible for herself.

"I’m not." The Doctor replied, his voice muffled by her hair. "I’m just happy. Excitingly happy."

She smiled to herself, dropping her head to his shoulder and relaxing for a moment in his arms. He was calm and reassuring against her, and this was all that she needed, and he knew it because it also was what he needed himself. Reassurance and calm.

After a minute of staying into his arms, River drew back slightly. "As much as I love hugging you, I need to say that I’ve got a baby directly pressed against my uterus and the feeling his quite uncomfortable." She chuckled.

The Doctor let out a small laugh, drawing away and holding her at arm’s length. "Sorry, got overwhelmed for a second." He smiled bringing his hand to her cheek, stroking it tenderly.

This made River smile, pushing her face against his hand." Here goes nothing."

"No," The Doctor shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. "Here goes _everything_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Now the hardest part's a-coming!
> 
> Chapter title by M83 with 'New Map'.


	21. Give Me All the Peace and Joy in Your Mind

The corridors were buzzing with life, nurses and doctors running around and attending their patient. The scenery in front of their eyes was one every being would imagine entering a hospital.

The Doctor and River walked hand in hand, following the midwife that was leading them to a delivery room. Not that she was going to deliver right away, but just as a preparation. Amy was trotting behind them, nearly jumping up and down the corridor in her excitement. One could wonder who really was the child and who really was going to be a _grandmother_.

The Doctor wove his fingers with River’s, squeezing her hand tightly. She looked up at him, flashing him a genuine smile even though the pain made her grit her teeth. She squeezed back, stroking his knuckles almost imperceptibly.

She wouldn’t let it transpire, but she was quite afraid of what was happening. Her hearts were beating madly inside of her ribcage, not quite understanding how to manage the overload of emotions in her body. And also quite confused at what was happening _to_ it.

She was thrilled, and glad this was the emotion overcoming all else.

"Here you go." The midwife spoke up, breaking her out of her thoughts. She stopped in front of a door and opened it, stepping inside. They followed her inside, feeling suddenly quite shy in front of all the medical monitors around them. "I’ll let you get settled."

The midwife made her way to the monitors and began to insert commands and such. River looked around the room. There wasn’t much to look at when the majority of objects and furnitures were made for a medical purpose and unknown to her knowledge.

The room had the advantage of having a window, albeit small. It bathed the room in light, that was comforting in a way. It made the room livelier as all the medical instruments put an intrigued frown on her face.

"You’re lucky the hospital is quite empty at this time of the year. It’s always like that," The midwife said as she made her way to light up some more monitors on the side of the small room. "There are times of the year where up to ten babies are born within an hour. And there are times like this, much calmer."

She turned to them and River smiled shyly. She went to sit on the bed, feeling much more comfortable without the constant pressure against her pelvic. Her legs dangled off the edge of the bed as she looked at the midwife as she babbled about babies and times of _copulation_.

"You won’t be disturbed in here." The midwife said, smiling up at them when she was finished with the monitors. "This room is for you only until you deliver. I’d say you have two to three weeks before the crowd of spring babies arrive. But I’d tell you something," The midwife grinned. "Your baby won’t take more than 24 hours to arrive. Or 35 if baby’s slow." She shrugged and made her way to the door, chuckling to herself.

River let out a laugh, hoping she wouldn’t have to wait that long to welcome her baby into the world. A few hours would be great, enough time to get used to the idea of giving birth and little enough time not to get mad over the hours.

The midwife opened the door, turning back to them. "I’ll be back in a minute, got a few things to fetch. Also, I have to warn you that there can be only one visitor in the delivery room." She pursed her lips into a sorry smile. Her eyes drifted from Amy to the Doctor. "Sorry, that’s the rule. Something about crowded spaces and bacterias."

She smiled and went out, closing the door behind her.

Amy turned back to them, placing the bag at the foot of the bed. "You stay Doc," She said, giving him a smile. "I think you’ll be more useful here for Riv than I will with my babbling and emotional outbursts." She grinned, throwing a glance at River.

The latter rolled her eyes. Her mother would understand that she was not rejecting her, but she needed her husband. She needed his support and goofy face more than anything, he was the only one who would be able to bear her moods when she was at her lowest.

The Doctor stepped closer, almost hearing her thoughts. He placed his hand on her shoulder, massaging her back tenderly. She smiled up at him, dropping her head to his chest and closing her eyes. It wasn’t even much the contractions at that point, they were far apart and left her free and peaceful time between each. It was just everything that revolved around the delivery and labour, and stress. She was stressed, she couldn’t help it.

Amy, sensing that the two needed some time alone, cleared her throat. "I’ll pop out to phone Rory. Be the news bearer and such," She laughed, "I’ll leave you with the midwife."

The Doctor nodded his head and gave her a small wink. She smiled at him before making her way out, eager to tell the news to an unexpecting Rory.

River sighed against the Doctor’s side, she outstretched her arms around his torso and held him tight by the waist. He welcomed her against his side, dropping a few kissed in her curls. "You alright?" He whispered against her hair while stroking her back lazily.

She nodded without a word, albeit for the small sound in the back of her throat. Pressing her face to his shirt, she inhaled his scent, already feeling better knowing he was holding her tight through this. She had nothing to be scared off, he was there by her side.

"And I’m back!" The midwife exclaimed when she re-entered the room, breaking their little moment together. The Doctor retreated a few steps but still held her hand tight, stroking her knuckles in a silent means of comfort. "Lie down on the bed and I’ll strap the monitors to you."

River shifted on the bed in a lying position but winced as a contraction hit her. She gritted her teeth and let out a small puff of breath, closing her eyes for a second as the contraction travelled from her lower abdomen to her whole body. The Doctor’s hand found hers in an instant and she squeezed it tight gratefully.

He gave her a soft smile when she reopened her eyes and she tried a tentative one of her own.

"Ah contractions." The midwife said as she stepped closer, medical instruments in her hands. River nodded as she breathed out, the contraction slowly fading to oblivion. This was strange, the sudden pulse of pain receding after a few seconds at the most. "What’s your name, dearie?" The midwife inquired.

"River." She replied, shifting properly on the bed to find a comfortable position.

"Nice to meet you, River. I’m Sara, so please do call me that." River nodded and the midwife, _Sara_ , smiled up at her. "I’m going to be the one taking care of you through your delivery, meaning, don’t fret I’m the best at my job." Sara smiled smugly and River nodded, a small chuckle escaping her. A small clip was placed on her index, "This is for your hearts beats, it does double hearts very well, that’s new technologies for you." River grinned up at the Doctor.

He smiled down, his fingers woven with her owns, their hands resting on the bed.

"This is your first child, right?" Sara inquired and River nodded, a genuine smile stretching up her lips. The midwife glanced up at her face, grinning as she could practically hear River’s thoughts. "How exciting!"

River let out a soft chuckle, nodding her agreement. The Doctor squeezed her hand and it made her look up at him. He had a beaming smile on his face, the corner of his lips nearly touching his ears. She’d rarely seen him so happy, so eager for something that was else than space or custard. This was what her pregnancy had made of him, a more reasonable man, a proud father.

"Sorry I didn’t ask for your name." Sara looked up at the Doctor, a grin playing at her lips. "But you’re daddy to us, that’s what everyone is going to call you now. Or anyway, you’ll hear it pretty often by now."

The Doctor chuckled, pressing his lips together as he nodded quickly. He didn’t mind, he was rather looking forward to it.

The midwife looked back at River, leaning over her to strap a monitor around her prominent belly. "This is for your child’s hearts, don’t let it fall off or we’ll get alarmed results." She shrugged and sent a laughing grin at River. The latter nodded, adamant on keeping that in mind. "So tell me, is it a boy or a girl?"

"Girl." River smiled.

Sara hummed, nodding with pursed lips. "Good pick, we’re a majority in there." She snickered, sending a wink her way. River couldn’t help but chuckle, she looked up at the Doctor to see him roll his eyes. She knew he was as eager as her to have a little girl. She thought he was the one to always have hoped for a girl. "So," Sara said, typing something on a monitor screen. "Can you tell me how far apart are your contractions?"

"Ten to fifteen minutes, I think. It’s more on the fifteen right now although it hasn’t changed much since I began to feel them." The midwife hummed as a response, inquiring her to continue with her eyes. "It began during the night, or uhm, early morning more so. I wouldn’t have begun worrying if my water didn’t just broke."

Sara nodded. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful are the contractions? Let’s say 5 is mildly annoying and 10 is the ‘I’m dying, give me the epidural’ scream."

River chuckled slightly, pondering the thought for a second. She wasn’t to that point yet, she really hoped she wouldn’t be. Although, she _knew_ giving birth wasn’t going to be the most peaceful of activities. "I’d say 6." She responded, nodding to herself.

"Don’t hesitate to ask for an epidural." Sara said. "Although, if you’re not feeling that uncomfortable right now I would say to wait for a bit before asking for one. It can be quite annoying in the long run."

River nodded. She had thought about it before, multiple times, but she couldn’t really know what the effect would be on her, if there would be _any_ effects on her human+ body bearing a Time Lord one. She had made up her mind, saying she wouldn’t ask for one. Not if she could bear the pain.

"Alright," The midwife rounded the bed and placed herself at the foot of it. "I’m going to examine you now. Can you remove shorts and knickers? I’ll give you a sheet for if you’re cold." She took a sheet folded on a counter nearby and placed it on top of River’s legs and belly as the latter removed her clothes as told. "Pop your legs up, please."

She did as told and looked up at the Doctor when Sara lowered her hand under the sheet to examine her. She grinned up at him, he rolled his eyes at her idiocy.

The midwife pursed her lips into a smile. "I’m afraid we’re only at 2 centimetres." She shrugged, finished with her examination. "We still got a long way to go, but don’t worry this is usually the case, especially with first birth."

River stretched her legs on the bed and gave a pout in the Doctor’s direction. He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, giving her a besotted smile.

"Baby’s going to come out anyway." The midwife laughed, shrugging her shoulders. "Alright, I’ll come back in an hour or two, see how things are progressing. I might even bring food if you behave." She laughed, making her way to the door. "If you want anything just ring the red button on the wall and I’ll be right back in." She pointed her finger to it, waved her goodbyes and closed the door behind her.

River sighed, slouching in the bed. She looked up at the Doctor with a smile. He leaned closer, dropping a kiss on her forehead and nuzzling his nose against the crown of her head. She made a content noise at the back of her throat.

"Where’s mum?" She asked after a minute of silence.

"She’s outside, calling Rory." He replied, smiling. "And probably screaming her joy at him."

"Oh yeah…" She trailed off with a smile tugging at her lips. She could perfectly imagine her mother _screaming_ her joy through the phone. Her poor father. "I’d like to see her before she goes back to Leadworth, this is probably the last time she’s going to be a mother without being a grandmother too." She chuckles. "That’s a lot for her."

"Do you want me to go and fetch her?" He asked, playing with the hair at her neck. She nodded with pursed lips, giving him a smile. "I’ll be right back." He said, dropping a kiss on her lips and placing a hand on her bump.

He leaned off the bed and walked out of the room, going to find his mother-in-law and soon to be the grandmother of his daughter.

—

Amy closed the door of the delivery room behind her, walking down the corridor as she fished her phone out of her pocket. The waiting room was empty when she arrived there, at least she wouldn’t disturb anyone with her screeching.

Dialling Rory’s number, she brought the phone to her ear. He responded after two rings, his voice cheerful as always. "Hello beautiful!" Amy couldn’t help but smile, hiding her chuckle with a press of her lips. "Are you getting bored of the children and decided that calling your gorgeous and vastly intelligent husband would put you in higher spirits?"

Amy let out a chuckle, pressing the phone to her ear and walking around the room quietly. "I hope you don’t greet everyone calling you in that way. Some might get _ideas_." She rolled her eyes as she heard him snicker at the other end of the line. "And don’t flatter yourself as such, it’s said to make your head inflate."

Rory crackled a laugh and she heard movement from his side. "My head sounds fine, I’m a nurse, I know how to handle those vanity problems. I see that everyday and it’s _tiring_." Amy could practically see him roll his eyes. "And I’ll have you know that I only greet the most beautiful women like that. So that, at least, doesn’t include the Doctor and my boss, which is also a doctor when I think of it…" He trailed off, suddenly lost in thoughts.

"Oh shut up." Amy said with a faint laugh. She shifted her weight on her hip, a genuine smile growing on her lips as she thought of the current state of things. "I’m actually calling because I’m the bearer of some news."

"Oh yeah?" Rory inquired, pondering through the phone. "Is it good or bad? Did the Doctor, by any chance, sprained his ankle while jumping up and down the couch during a Wii tennis match?" He hell silent for an instant, musing the thought. Amy couldn’t contain her laughter. "I don’t even know if it’s good or bad. Well it is bad, to some extent. If he actually sprained his ankle tell him from me ‘I told you so’.

Amy chuckled, shaking her head even though she knew he couldn’t see her. What were those father-in-law ideas? "It’s nothing like that, don’t get all happy and such." She rolled her eyes at his huff. "It’s good news actually, very good news… It’s River…" She beamed and thought even through the phone Rory could see her.

"Oh," He breathed out, his attention suddenly fully drawn to her. "Oh…" He trailed off, a small exclamation escaping his lips. "Is it time yet? Oh yeah, it _is_ time, isn’t it?"

"Yeah…" Amy beamed, refraining herself from jumping up and down the room. That would be a very awkward time is someone were to walk in on her. "River went into labour this morning and now we’re just getting settled at the Sisters. Although, I can’t stay with them in the room because then it’s too crowded, so of course the Doctor stays with her." Rory hummed, understanding. "I’ll ask him to take me back to Leadworth whenever he can. It seems so very far away to be home when they’re here, but I’d rather wait at home where I can fuss all I want."

Rory chuckled, humming. "Yeah, medical procedure, I know that."

Amy hummed back, sighing contently. "River’s with the Doctor right now. She doesn’t have anything to worry about. She’s handling this well, better than I thought she would. The Doctor’s being a real support for once." She chuckled to herself, shaking her head. "No but really, she’s in good hands."

"And the Doctor, how is he handling this?" Rory inquired. "It’s strange to think he’s not running around like a 5-year-old, or freaking out, or just _fainting_." He laughed.

Amy shook her head before remembering he couldn’t see her. "Well, he _is_ freaking out, he was going to be anyway. But no, he’s actually very calm and responsible. He’s handling this very well. It’s funny to see him like that, we’ve met him as the childish one and now he makes _us_ look childish. He’s all responsible and mature, that’s a very peculiar thing to witness."

Rory hummed through a chuckle, "Well, I’m glad."

As she turned on the spot, Amy saw the Doctor appearing at their door and walking to her. "Oh well, speaking of the devil." She smiled up at him and waved her hand. He waved back, a beaming smile still adorning his face. She thought he would be wearing it for some time now. "You should see his face." She spoke to the phone. "He’s all beamy and radiant, this is adorable." She heard Rory laugh on the other end of the line and smiled at herself. "Anyway, I’ll be going. I’ll see you tonight."

"Yep," Rory replied, "I finish my shift at 4. I’ll get home as soon as I can. Give my love to River and the Doctor, and also tell River than she is granted full permission to swat at the Doctor if she’s getting too irritated by him and his quite annoying self."

Amy chuckled, "I will. Love you."

"Love you, too." Rory responded before hanging up. Amy smiled into the phone for a second before pulling it away from her ear and turning to face the Doctor that silently awaited by her side, an inquiring smile in place.

"Rory sends his love." She said and it brought a genuine smile on the Doctor’s face. "And he’s very eager to meet the little one."

"Well, apparently it could take a while before she’s actually there." He shrugged, lips pursed into a pout. "The midwife said it’s usual for first child and that we shouldn’t be too eager to meet her in the next hour or so. It’s more going to be like 10 hours." He sighed and she gave him a compassionate smile, patting him on the shoulder. "But eh, come on, she wants to see you before you leave for Leadworth."

He led her through the corridor, feeling at home in this hospital like the proud father he was going to be. He halted in front of the door but she spoke up before he opened the door, wanting to have a few minutes with him alone first.

"How are you handling this, Doctor?" She asked, looking up at his face. Her eyes were sincere, slightly concerned for him but mostly comforting.

"I’m fine," He said, brushing the hair out of his face, timidly but with a smile still blooming on his lips. "I’m splendid, I’m thrilled." He chuckled to himself, reddening for somewhat being happy for something so far from what he was before. "I’m scared as hell, but the good kind of scared. The kind that pushes you forward and— and…" He trailed off, letting out a faint chuckle. "It’s exhilarating. It’s just…" He didn’t finish his sentence but Amy could see the joy in his eyes.

This made her smile, "You’re going to be a wonderful dad."

A bubbly laugh escaped his lips and he looked back up at her, the smile soon transforming into a grin. "And you’re going to be a wonderful grandma."

She huffed, swatting at his arm. She was suddenly taken aback when he engulfed her in his arms but quickly recovered, placing her arms around his back. He let out a long breath against her shoulder, squeezing her tightly.

She stroked his back in reassurance. He could hide it well but she knew he was freaking out, he was scared as hell, and rightly so. Of course, he worried, and of course it was a normal thing. She thought this was a moment where everyone was worried, scared, or both. But he was handling it perfectly well. She was proud of him.

When she retreated back, she looked at his face slightly hidden by his fringe. He was looking adorably stressed. "One more thing," She spoke up, brushing the hair out of his eyes in a motherly way. Should she say grandmotherly? Urgh, not yet. He raised an eyebrow at her words, she smirked, "It’s River’s time now. So let her yell at you and let her be annoying and irritated." He nodded, a small laugh escaping him. "Support her through this as you’re already doing, she will need it. She will need _you_. It’s going to be the best day of your life, Doctor…" She trailed off, offering him a genuine smile.

"I know," He replied, his voice in a whisper. She looked back up at his eyes and they shone with unshed tears.

She engulfed him back into a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just saying her labour ~could~ last 35 hours... XD
> 
> Chapter title by Muse with 'Bliss'.


	22. Don't Let Me Go Cause I'm Nothing Without You

The Doctor walked through the corridors of the hospital, making his way back to River’s room after he brought Amy back to Leadworth. It was the two of them now, well three with Freya.

The walk back to their room was one he was getting used to. That made him grew some confidence. _Look at me, my wife’s in labour and I know the hospital perfectly well because my wife’s giving birth_! He couldn’t shake the grin off his face, nor did he want to.

Around him, people from all species walked by without sparing him a single glance. Everyone was in their own little world. It was a strange sight, still. Being around so many species felt foreign to him now, he’d been staying at Leadworth for so long, he didn’t even remember when was the last time he took a trip in the TARDIS simply to discover new species and meet strange ones.

Surely even before River told him about her pregnancy, probably before their wedding. It had almost been a year, and he didn’t miss it.

Looking at all the species around him, he had to admit that the curiosity and thrill was still there. But if he was really honest with himself, his hearts didn’t beat as madly as they did before at the discovery of a new species and his eyes didn’t shine as brightly at the discovery of a new planet.

He loved the _thrill_ and the _curiosity_ , he really did. The feeling was exhilarating and always made his hearts bloom. But now his wildest astonishment and wonder had shifted to something more concrete, something full of life and hopeful to bring his joy, and tears, and smiles, and _passion_. His daughter.

The wonders of space were fragile in comparison to what he had right now. Family, wife, daughter… Space was a mere substitute now, he still loved it deeply and was so very looking forward to show it to his daughter one day. But for now… Now was the time for _him_ , his joy, his daughter.

Stopping at their delivery room, he knocked softly before letting himself in. River was lying on her side on the bed, her eyes blinked open as she heard the door open, thinking that it may be a midwife. She smiled softly at his sight and resettled her head on the pillow, closing back her eyes.

The Doctor took his time to examine her. A thin sheet was covering her from the top of her bed to her feet where it was tangled between her legs. Her hand was resting on her belly, the monitor poking out from under the sheet. She drew small lazy circles on her stomach absentmindedly? He didn’t know if she was soothing herself or the child in her belly with those caresses, surely both.

He approached her side and a soft smile grew on her face, her eyes blinking open slightly. She rubbed at them, stifling a yawn. "I’m sorry, did I wake you?"

River shook her head, resettling the pillow underneath her with a sigh. "I wasn’t sleeping, only resting my eyes for an instant."

He smiled tenderly, placing a hand on her thigh and stroking it in a comforting way. "Was I gone long?"

River only shrugged slightly, shifting on the bed in a more comfortable position, which wasn’t much comfortable. "Don’t know. Two contractions worth, maybe? You’re not late or anything. Anyway, there’s nothing to be late to. I fear I’m here to at least 30 hours more."

The Doctor grinned, "You’re not." With her head scrunched against the pillow, she managed to raise an eyebrow. He sat on the edge of the bed with a smile, "It’s a Time Lady in there, Time Ladies are always on time." He said confidently and River’s eyebrow shot in the hair. "I said Lady! I wasn’t talking about a person in particular, especially not _me_."

River let out a soft chuckle and began to toy with the hem of his jacket. She looked up at him after an instant to see him already staring at her, she pursed her lips into a smile. "I still missed you while you were gone." Her smile soon transformed into a pout and he let out a faint chuckle.

"I brought your mother back home safe and on time." He said and it made River’s eyebrow rise into an impressed look. "And she congratulated me." River snorted and he looked down, seeing the laugh threatening to break free from her lips. He frowns and made a grimace as he understood what he said, rolling his eyes childishly. "Not for that! She congratulated me for Freya, not—… humpf." He trailed off, shaking his head at his own idiocy.

River laughed faintly. She brought her hand to take his, stroking his knuckles tenderly. "You know she’s over excited to meet her granddaughter. And she’s proud of you, too." She confessed, giving him a soft smile. "She trusts you as a grown up now. She sees the father in  you and I think she finds that… _reassuring_. And wonderful. _I_ find that wonderful."

A genuine smile graced the Doctor’s. He looked down at her with something undecipherable in his eyes, something that made her hearts bloom in joy. He was insufferable, but he was wonderful and he looked at her with such love and joy, and pride; proud of being a father soon and proud of her.

She outstretched her arms for him, beckoning him inside them. "Come lie with me."

The Doctor eyed the small hospital bed underneath him and River already in it. He tilted his head on the side, a frown forming between his brows. "I’m not sure this bed is big enough to fit two grown persons. Even less with a baby between them."

River smirked, shifting to the side to make some room for him. She patted the free pace next to her. "We’ll make it work."

He eyed her and her mischievous look for an instant. Her arms were outstretched for him, a smile was playing on her lips. And he knew she bloody well _knew_ he wouldn’t be able to resist an offer like this one. "Alright but it won’t be my fault if we break the bed."

River snorted and he climbed on the bed, lying down beside her. The action was rather awkward with his clumsy limbs trying not to kick her in the face, or worse in the belly. But he managed as gracefully as he could and lay down without any damage. River suppressed a laugh and he grumbled to himself, rounding his arms around her and scooting as close as he could.

He had to say, he wasn’t sure his butt was on the bed or off.

River’s belly was squeezed between them, the monitor pushing into his side, he didn’t mind. He pressed his face against her hair, laying several kisses on the crown of her head, and felt her smile against his neck. One of her hand was around his waist and she breathed him in after exhaling a sigh. 

He stroked her back soothingly. She wasn’t showing it but he knew she wasn’t very comfortable and surely hurting. He knew her, she was strong and she wasn’t going to show her pain until she couldn’t stand it anymore. He really hoped she wouldn’t have to go through the worst. For the moment, the room was peaceful, waiting for things to evolve and pass.

If he could relieve her of the pain, he would. But that wasn’t how things worked, and he was saddened by that.

Suddenly, he was stopped in his trail of thoughts by a sharp kick against his stomach. After staying dumbstruck for a second, he began to laugh, his shoulders shaking. River lifted her head up with a frown on her face, confused as why he would break this peaceful moment with bouts of laughter.

He smiled down at her, "I just felt Freya kicking me right in the stomach. That is a very peculiar feeling, is this what it feel like?"

River stayed confused for a second before looking down at their attached midsections, a grin grew on her face and she let out a faint chuckle. "I’m not sure if it is." She looked back up at him, a snort escaping her mouth. "Even though I’m sure she loves your company very much, I think she’s merely protesting to the lack of space we’re giving her at the moment."

The Doctor pursed his lips in agreement. "Probably shouldn’t squish her much now that she has close to no space at all to move around." He sat back up and smiled at River’s little pout. She looked adorable.

Standing up, he walked around the bed to sit on the chair laying next to it. He sat on the uncomfortable chair, a pout of his own on his face. River turned around on the bed to face him, the movement more difficult than she would have thought. He offered his hand to her that she took, squeezing hard.

She let out a sigh, closing her eyes for a brief second before looking back at him with pleading eyes. "Please, you have to find something to entertain me, anything will do really. I’m just starting to get mad in boredom." Leaving his hand, she shifted and sat back against the headboard, wincing at the effort. "Everything is uncomfortable. I can’t do anything because I’m stuck _being_ uncomfortable. Urgh, that _sucks_." She whined, dropping her head on the back of the headboard. "I can’t sleep even though I’m dying for it! Do you remember when was the last time I slept well? Because I can’t remember myself!"

She exhaled a long breath, jutting her lower lip out and giving him a small pout. He scooted his chair closer, the latter rattling on the hospital floor. He gave her his hand, letting her squeeze it as hard as she wanted.

"I can’t go a full day like this if I’m already feeling like shit." She mumbled to herself, dropping her head to the side. "I’m going to get mad."

The Doctor hummed, bringing her hand to his lips so he could places soft kisses on her knuckles. He saw her smile softly, tentatively. His role was to support her through the hard times, but he’d never seen her in such a peculiar way. She wasn’t merely irritated or frustrated, but he recognised the feeling on her face.

She was deflating into irritation and frustration because she never imagined labour would be like this. Slow and unnerving. She was cranky but at the same time strong and adamant on keeping her facade. Walls were cracking on every side of her and she was getting mad.

He kissed her palm and squeezed her hand tight. "What do you want to do to make time pass quicker? Tell me what you want and we’ll do it."

River pursed her lips into a grimace, "Well, what do you have?"

The Doctor let go of her hand to rummage through his bigger-on-the-inside pockets, there he found a lot of ridiculous objects that he’d forgotten to remove over time. "Uhh, I have… a Rubik’s cube." He said as he fished the object out and placed it on the bed. River took it with a frown before placing it back down. She had way to much things on her mind to begin something like that. "A deck of cards," He frowned at it in his hands, a frown creasing his brows, "Missing some of them… Never mind." He placed them back in his pockets and River hummed noncommittally. "Got a…" He fished an object out, examining it for a second too long. "Hair tie."

River looked up from her bored state, suddenly interested. "Oh, give it to me. It’s all I’ve been dreaming about for the last hour." He handed it to her and she began to collect her hair up in a messy bun.

He looked back down at his pockets, resuming his search. "Oh, look I have y—"

"Wait," She cut him abruptly. He quickly looked back up at her, confused. Her hands were lifted to her hair but she was stoic now. Her eyes were scrunched shut and there was a grimace on her lips while she tried to breathe out as best she could through her mouth.

He didn’t need her to tell him she was going through a contraction as he saw all the symptoms on her face. He stroked her leg soothingly, a frown of worry growing on his face even though he knew this was normal. He could bear to see her in pain.

River let out a sigh and brushed a hand down her face before dropping it to the side. She reopened her eyes while she exhaled a long breath. He gave her a soft reassuring smile that she could barely return. "Is it getting worse?" He asked, his voice nearly a whisper.

She made a grimace, shaking her head. "I think I’d rather it be worse. At least I’d knew things would be moving forward. But no, it’s still as dull and painful." She sighed, dropping her head to the headboard. "It’s as annoying as all the other ones. That’s what is worse."

The Doctor pursed his lips into a compassionate smile. He fished his hand back into his jacket. "Also, I have your phone… And a small puzzle."

She gave him a curious frown, "Why do you have my phone in your jacket?"

"Amy gave it to me earlier." He handed it to her and she gave him a grateful smile, scrolling through the notifications. "She wants news, she says! Every few hours, although you shouldn’t. She won’t stop texting you if you do as told." He rolled his eyes and River saw the sign of experience behind his words. She smirked, nodding. "And she wants pictures too, a lot of pictures. Although, nothing’s happening." He shrugged. "She wants pictures of Freya on every angle once she’s there."

River chuckled, looking up from her phone for a second. "Luckily there are plenty of games installed here _for you_."

The Doctor huffed, rolling his eyes and leaning back on his chair. "Well, it’s _your_ phone." He grumbled with a faint chuckle.

"Which you _kidnap_ every time the moment gets boring enough for you." He rolled his eyes once again and mumbled something under his breath that sounded like ‘can’t help it’. River smiled up at him.

"Do you want me to fetch something to eat at the cafeteria. It’s said the food is _not_ disgusting. And it’s past noon already." He said, eager to move around, his legs too fidgety for his own good.

River looked up from the phone for a second, making a faint grimace. "I’m not hungry."

"Well, I am." He replied with a smile. "You sure you don’t want anything. Not even a little something?" River shook her head, not looking up at him. He grinned, standing up before bending down to lay a kiss on her cheek. "Don’t be grumpy, it makes you look like me." He whispered with a chuckle.

She looked up and pouted with a glare, "I"m not." He could only hum.

Of course when the Doctor came back from his trip to the cafeteria he held two sandwich in hands. He knew River, and River was stubborn. He also knew that she was going to get hungry at some point and she wouldn’t dare ask him to go fetch her something. This was something about being too proud and not wanting to admit that he was right. Which he often was. He planned ahead to remove the mortification of her face once she went out of her stubborn face.

He gave her a sheepish grin when he entered the room and her eyes fell on what he had in his hands. She could only roll her eyes and shake her head with the silent phrase, ‘you’re an idiot but that’s adorable’.

He sat back on the chair, handing her a sandwich, silently offering it to her in case she suddenly was in need of it. She simply looked at it, her eyes drifting to his face with a raised eyebrow. "I told you I wasn’t hungry." She mumbled and he smirked.

"Who said this was for you, maybe I’m really hungry and want two sandwiches." River’s eyebrows raised higher and he could only roll his eyes. "This was worth a try." He said, leaning back on his chair and beginning to eat his sandwich.

After a few minutes of silence, he saw from the corner of his eyes that River had dropped the phone on her stomach and was looking ahead of her, lost in thoughts. Sometimes, she would look at him and he would smirk, so she would quickly look away. He _totally_ knew what was going through her mind. He kept the fun to himself for a few minutes longer before cracking.

"You do know that stubbornness will get you nowhere, right?" He glanced at her to see her feigning confusion. He rolled his eyes, "Alright Riv, I won’t make you starve only because you’re too stubborn to admit you want that sandwich."

He handed it to her and she glared, giving him a mocking grimace. He laughed. Nonetheless, she took the sandwich from his hands and took a big bite from it. He could practically see her eyes close it delight as she ate. This was adorable. Even more so knowing he was doing everything in her power to make it look like she was annoyed with him. Which she wasn’t, he knew that.

He laughed, seeing her glare over the sandwich.

"Shut up." She said between bites with a glare. He smiled, and behind her glare he saw the grin threatening to break free from her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a casual day for River and the Doctor... bickering idiots are always the best kind of idiots.
> 
> Chapter title by Muse with 'Save Me'.


	23. From This Moment You Will Never Be Alone

_Click._

River looked up from the Rubik’s cube in her hands to the Doctor, a confused frown etching on her face. The latter grinned sheepishly, her phone in his hand and pointed her way. He was slouched on his chair, his feet propped up on the frame of her bed. He seemed quite at east compared to her.

"What are you doing?" She accused, her eyes roaming over his form, the permanent frown creasing her brows. 

"Beginning our baby’s photograph album." He said, looking down at the phone with a grin.

River scolded, sinking down on the bed and crossing her hands over her stomach. She threw a glare his way, pursing her lips into a pout as he snickered at the phone’s screen. "Don’t." She threatened. "I’m really ugly and irritated, and frankly not in the mood for your foolish games." The Doctor made a grimace, baring his teeth in order to make her laugh. It didn’t. She scowled. "I’m going to hurl this toy at your face." She said flatly, waving the Rubik’s cube in his face.

The Doctor guffawed. "Hurl?" He repeated with a snicker but suddenly squeaked and protected his face as she threw the infamous object square to his chest. "Ow." He exclaimed as the toy hit him and bounced back onto his lap. "That hurt, don’t do that." This at least succeeded in putting a smile on River’s face. She wondered if this was the irritation that made her laugh at the Doctor’s pain or just his dumb face. "I’m sorry okay? But you just looked so cute."

River raised her eyebrows, ready to throw any other thing in his direction. Hopefully for him, she didn’t have anything else at hand. She simply rolled her eyes at his idiocy, which made him grin profusely more than he should be allowed to. She didn’t smile in return, only sighing and resettling her gaze back to a fixed point ahead of her.

There was a silence for a second, and she knew the Doctor was staring at her. River had this odd feeling to snap at him, he was unnerving, more than usual. He was there, being all good, patient and supporting. He held her hand when she was having a contraction, he always found something to make time pass quicker. And the worst, he couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

He was being too perfect and she, for her part, was being a total wreck.

The Doctor shifted in his seat, leaning his elbows on his knees and gazing at her. "Plus, you’re not ugly." River turned her head slowly in his direction at his words, a slight eyebrow raised in disbelief. He grinned back smugly. "You look beautiful."

River only rolled her eyes, resettling her gaze back to the wall. Oh yeah, that was the worse, the besotted smile on his face and his words that hit her straight in the chest. How did he know that was what she needed to hear so much again? Oh yeah, because he was perfect.

She pressed her lips together, trying to keep her emotions at bay. Oh great now, it was the only thing she needed. She bit her lower lip, keeping her eyes fixed on a point in the room, her vision slowly blurring on the edges. 

At the corner of her eyes, she saw the Doctor scooting closer and rounding his arms around her torso. She groaned at her lack of self control and the Doctor retreated away for a second, gazing into her eyes with a slight question in his eyes. "No, stay." She said abruptly and he went back to hugging her, nuzzling his neck against her collarbone. After a second, she groaned inwardly, pushing him away with little strength. "Urgh, no, sorry, don’t do that. I need space to breathe and I’m already irritated and this is quite oppressing."

The Doctor retreated away, a sheepish grin on his face. "Sorry." He said before dropping a kiss to her forehead, the gesture making her smile as she stroked his bicep softly.

She saw him scoot his chair closer to her bump and dropping his head delicately on top of it. He exhaled a breath, gazing up at her from his position and grinning. He outstretched his hands flat on her stomach, drawing patterns on it as he’s done so many times before.

"What are you doing?" River inquired, a tender smile stretching on her lips.

His grin grew even bigger and he let out a soft chuckle, the vibration of his voice on her body ticking her. "Trying to convince Freya to speed up a little more. Coaxing her out, you know." River snorted, nodding. "Maybe if I tickle her curiosity of the outside world she’ll want to see what it’s like with her own eyes. What do you think, eh?"

River pursed her lips into a smile, nodding faintly as she brushed his hair out of his eyes tenderly. The Doctor closed his eyes, nuzzling his face against her clothed stomach and leaving a trail of small kisses down there. River shifted her gaze from his form to look around her, at nothing in particular.

"Freya," He whispered, "It’s me, it’s daddy, hopefully talking to you in your mother’s belly for the last time. Next time, I’ll hold you in my arms, and you probably won’t understand anything I’m saying. Well, it won’t change from right now, but I’ll show you… I’ll show you the wonders of the universe, the stars, the planets, everything that shines."

He stopped for a second and River looked down at him. His eyes were still closed, a stupidly besotted smile graced his lips. She bit her lips, looking away. She closed her eyes for a second, exhaling a shuddering breath.

"The world is very different from outside." He continued, stroking her stomach tenderly. "It’s much brighter, and much bigger too. I’ll show you everything, when you’re a little older. I’ll start with the Cassiopeia constellation, where the stars shine so bright it illuminates the dark universe. And I’ll tell you stories about it, and you’ll probably laugh at me," He chuckled to himself. "And then I’ll show you the Medusa Cascade, where planets align and create something _beautiful_."

River bit her lower lip, refraining it from trembling. Her chin wobbled but she smiled. So much, it hurt.

"You’ll see," He stopped for a second, opening his mouth slightly before the words came out. "When you’re ready, I’ll show you everything, and I will rediscovery it through your eyes. And I will probably cry," He let out a snort. "But that’s okay, because it’s joy. It’s okay to cry if you’re happy, and it’s okay to cry if your sad. But I hope I’ll never see you sad, always happy, I promise with both my hearts. We’re just so eager to see you, me and your mom. You’re our greatest gift…"

When he reopened his eyes to look up at her, River brushed the tears from her cheeks and smiled at him tentatively, a shy laugh escaping her lips. She shook her head at his confused frown, her shoulder were shaking and she didn’t even know if it was from crying or laughing at her _own_ crying. "I… hate you." She let out a snort.

The Doctor’s face fell slightly and he frowned, straightening in his chair. "River?" She brought him up to her by the collar of his shirt and placed her head in the crook of his neck. Her fingers trailed through his hair and a faint chuckle escaped him as he returned the hug, pressing small kisses on her neck and jaw. "You scared me for a second." He whispered, his voice muffled by her hair.

"Why are you so perfect?" Her voice was barely audible but the Doctor heard it nonetheless. He retreated slight away and she groaned at the lack of him for a second. With a smile etching on his face, the Doctor placed his hands on her cheeks, stroking the skin there softly. This made her look up at him in the eyes, a shy smile twitched at the corner of her lips.

The Doctor dropped a kiss on her lips, pouring all his love into it. River brought her hands in his hair, pulling him closer. "I’m far from perfect, very _very_ far from it." He said against her lips. "But I’m trying to be, for Freya and for you."

River smiled against his lips before closing the gap again. Keeping in mind that she should keep her breath for something else, she broke away from his lips and nuzzled her nose against the crook of his neck, holding him tight around the shoulders.

The Doctor chuckled against her, he laid kisses on her neck and face into it made her chuckle too. "You're stupidly adorable." She said as he retreated, looking into his eyes.

He grinned, "And I love you, too."

The moment was broken a few seconds later when the midwife knocked on the door and entered the room, a bright grin on her face. She seemed to smile even wider when she took a look at the two patients, their entwined limbs creating a funny sight.

The doctor blushed, taking a step back from River’s bed and she threw him a grin, taking a hold of his hand so he didn’t go to far away.

"Hello again!" She said cheerfully, and River wondered if she was really cheerful of if it was part of the job. Nonetheless, she could brighten a room with a simple smile. "I’m just here to check how things are moving. I won’t bother you for long." She threw them a meaningful look and the Doctor looked down at his shoes, blushing. "Oh, you know, we see lots of young couples besotted with one another for the arrival of their child. Those couples are always better than the ones fighting." She made a face and River let out a chuckle.

Sara walked to the monitors and input some information that River wasn’t able to decipher, she gave a medical nod to the machines before looking back at her with a smile. River took that as a ‘everything is okay’ look, that was at least good.

"Alright, dearie, can I examine you?"

River nodded, she shifted and straightened on the bed. Suddenly, the monitor taking care of her baby’s hearts went black, the beeping stopping. She threw a quick glance at the monitor and looked back wide eyed at the midwife. "Uh, what?" She croaked, sending a worried frown in the Doctor’s direction. The latter looked equally alert, his gaze shifting from the midwife to the monitor.

Sara eyed them with a smile before taking pity on them. "Don’t give yourself a fright, dearie." She went to readjust the monitor on her stomach, shifting it just slightly. As quick as it went out, the beeping came back and River exhaled a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. "It happens all the time. It’s either the baby shifting in the womb or the monitor slipping down. There’s nothing to worry about, your baby is perfectly fine." 

She smiled up at the couple and River gave a tentative smile in return. She was struggling to keep her hearts rate under control as she saw her own monitor slowly calming down. At the midwife request, she propped her legs up for her to examine her. The Doctor squeezed her hand comfortingly and she looked up at him, pursing her lips into a smile as she squeezed back.

"You’re just past 5 cm." The midwife said and River groaned, dropping her head on the headboard. She closed her eyes tightly, trying not to show her frustration. "Don’t be defeated, dearie. It’s completely normal for a first to be slow. It’s something new for yourself and your body, everything’s trying to get right in place for the birth."

River tried to nod. She knew, of course she knew it was going to be long and eventless. She knew it was going to be painful but boring at the same time. What she was eager for was the actual birth of her daughter, seeing her for the first time and shedding a lot of tears over it. The situation she was in was far from interesting and restful. But she had to get through this if she wanted her baby girl in her arms at the end of the day.

"You’ve gone halfway in 6 hours." Sara said, laying a hand on her calf in a soothing manner, she looked up at the clock above their head and nodded to herself. "It’s just past 7 pm now. So, it could either take another 6 hours and I have to be serious with you and tell you that it is the most plausible possibility." River groaned inwardly. "Or things could speed up in 2 to 3 hours, who knows? Every delivery is different." The midwife wrote something on her clipboard. "I promise it won’t take more than 7 hours from what I see. Look, you’re going to have a night baby." Sara smiled. "Those are the most pampered ones by the staff."

River reopened her eyes and gave her a timid smile. She was grateful the midwife was trying to make them feel better. Of course, she knew that what they needed was reassurance right now. That was what new parents always needed. 

"If it helps with the pain you can walk around the room for a bit. You can also take this bouncy ball." Sara pointed to the corned of the room where a big ball rested. "It soothes and helps with the cervix. You can always try and see if it can make things move quicker."

River threw a glance at it and nodded mindlessly. She let out a sigh, wondering if it actually _could_ do something.

"I’ll come back in 3 hours to check again if nothing happens till then." The midwife said and River nodded absentmindedly. "Don’t despair, once you’ll have your baby in your arms everything will be forgotten to make place to brand new feeling of joy."

River pursed her lips into a tentative smile and felt the midwife stroke her calf in a motherly way before she walked out of the room.

Once the midwife was out of the room, River dropped her head back on the headboard, closing her eyes tightly. Why was this so _frustrating_ and annoying? No, better question, why didn’t she prepare herself to _this_? It never crossed her mind that she would have to wait for _10_ hours or more for her baby to be born. Why didn’t they picture this side of the delivery in movies? Why did they make it look like it was easy peasy? Because it was _not_!

She felt the Doctor’s hand squeeze her own. "Are you alright?"

She didn’t respond, not finding the strength to do it. Instead, she pressed her lips together and pleaded for her emotions to stop overwhelming her. She didn’t even know why she was feeling like crying, it was normal the midwife said. But then why was she crying for it?

Oh shit.

The Doctor stroked her knuckles and she silently pleaded him to stop, it was making things worse. She couldn’t control her emotions when he was being so kind and supportive. Her chin began to wobble and she caught her lower lip between her teeth. Urgh, those damn emotions. "River…" His voice had a hint of worry, she didn’t want to worry him for heaven’s sake! But his voice was also full of love and she couldn’t help it at that point.

Against everything she tried, her face scrunched up into a grimace as small whimpers escaped her. Her breathing came in hiccups and she pressed her hand to her face to hide the tears beginning to stream down her face at an alarming rate. But there was no use, the tears came down flowing as the dam broke.

She felt the Doctor lean closer, his hand leaving hers as he tried to caress her shoulders and neck in a sort of confused comforting way. "River, what’s wrong?" His voice made her cry even more and her whimpers soon transformed into sobs. He took her into his arms and she rounded her arms around his neck, soaking his shirt.

She shook and sniffled, hiccuping against his frame as he stroked her back in soothing patterns. She knew it was ridiculous, she was simply breaking down. She was tired and irritated, and overflowed with emotions she couldn’t begin to understand. She was boiling up with barely refrained emotions that simply asked to be freed.

She clung at his arms, trying to calm her breathings with deep breaths. "It’s okay." The Doctor soothed her, passing a hand in her hair and down her back. "It’s okay, everything’s fine. It’s okay to cry." She pressed her face in the crook of his neck as more tears spilled down her cheeks. He rocked her softly, knowing exactly what to do as she broke down in his arms.

The notion made her snort through a sob. It was so ridiculous, he soothed her as he would soon soothe their crying baby. And at that instant, she had no doubts he would be a wonderful father.

"I’m sorry." She uttered between long intakes of breath. She bit her lip, exhaling deeply. "It’s— it’s just nerves… breaking down." She said, her voice weak. "I— I don’t even… even know why I…" She trailed off, laying her head on his shoulder as he caressed her back soothingly.

The Doctor brought a hand to her face, stroking the tears from her red-rimmed eyes. He smiled softly as she opened her eyes slightly to see his face. "You know you’re allowed to break down, right?" He brushed a finger over her lips, removing the salty pearls of tears from them. 

River gave him a tentative smile, nodding faintly. "I know, I know…" She whispered, tracing the shape if his bowtie with trembling fingers. "It’s just… It’s a mix of irritation, fatigue, eagerness and— and all those things together…" She trailed off, shrugging.

The Doctor smiled, nodding, "I know, you’re wonderful." Her eyes drifted up back to his and he nodded in persuasion, a bright smile illuminating his face. He brushed the last remnant traces of tears on her cheeks and kissed her eyelids. "Come on then, let’s walk around this tiny room for a bit and pretend it does something. Who knows? It could actually do something." He laughed and she chuckled, nodding. 

She brushed the last tears from her eyes and he helped her get down from the bed. Her legs tingled after being inactive for so long but the sensation of walking felt wonderful. Even though she had a weight pressed against her uterus and her body ached more than ever, she enjoyed the feeling of her bare feet on the floor. Her t-shirt was long enough to cover the top of her thighs, only managing to cover her knickers. She didn’t mind the cool air on her legs, every sensation that was not pain in her body felt like a blessing.

She walked to the window and looked outside. The sun was just starting to set, bathing the horizon in an orange glow. The sight soothed her, it set a rush of calm and peace over her.

Suddenly, she felt the Doctor’s arms encircling her from behind. His hands found their place on her belly and River sighed in contentment, dropping her head on his shoulder. She felt him drew small circles on her stomach absentmindedly and he nuzzled his neck against her neck. "This is the last moment when it’s only the two of us." He said, his voice muffled by her hair.

She nodded, smiling. Yes, it was. Then it would be a new life beginning, the three of them. Mom, dad and baby. She liked that, she liked it rather so. She was broken out of her thoughts when his hands left her stomach and rose to cup her breasts. She looked down and chuckled, reading his mind. "You know those won’t go away, right?" She said with a smirk. "You’ll just have to learn to share now."

The Doctor grumbled behind her, making her smile smugly. Yes, a life with a baby was going to change many things. But she was eager to see how it would go. She’d had the time to imagine so _much_ , now it was getting real. Properly real. It wasn’t any more wild thoughts and imagination. It was… happening. It was _happening_.

She sighed and the Doctor dropped his hands back to her stomach. "How are the contractions?" He asked, stroking her belly soothingly.

She groaned as a response, "Dull, it’s like a constant pain fractured with sharp bolts of electricity every now and then. It’s so bad that it’s starting to feel normal."

The Doctor hummed in comfort. "Do you want to try the bouncy ball?" He inquired, nodding his head in its direction. She followed his gaze, analysing the ball for a second. With a non committal hum, she nodded.

With the help of the Doctor, River settled down on the ball. He brought his chair closer and held her hands as she began to make small circular motions with her hips, relaxing as the ball _actually_ made things slightly better. She’d underestimated its power.

She looked up at the Doctor, catching him already gazing at her with a besotted smile. The situation was ridiculous, if someone ever told her this would one day happen to her she wouldn’t have believed them. But here she was…

She smiled. "Do you remember when I first told you I was pregnant?" She could still remember the day as if it was yesterday. She remembered how nervous she was, feeling at the same time anxious, afraid and happy. Looking back on it, she would always remember this day.

The Doctor’s face broke into a smile as she saw the day playing before his eyes. "I do. It was in August and it was really hot outside.."

River smirked. "That’s not why you nearly fainted that day."

The Doctor grumbled, rolling his eyes at her idiocy. But there was a smile playing at his lips. "What I remember from then is that you were beautiful, you were happy. You were very, _very_ scared, but you were happy nonetheless."

River nodded at his words. "And you were too. Scared and happy." It was a strange combinaison, those two paradoxical feelings. It was thrill tinted with fear. The everyday life of a parent.

He looked at her longingly and River felt herself nearly blush at the intensity of his gaze. He had the power to do that sometimes. "You were the most beautiful sight, you still are." She began to roll her eyes but he squeezed her hands, forcing her eyes back on him. "No, I’m serious. You are so strong. You’ve been perfect through this, even though it wasn’t in your range of skills and even _though_ we are the last persons to be associated with the word parents." He smiled, shrugging. "You’re simply magnificent."

River stared at him, lips pursed into a smile, tears close from spilling for the nth time today. She opened her mouth to speak but the words were hard to get out under his gaze. Her face bloomed into a genuine smile. "If I could get off this ball without falling I would kiss you."

The Doctor smirked, leaning off his chair and closing the gap between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
> 
> Chapter title by Muse with 'Aftermath'.


	24. As She Drew Her First Breath I Learned What Love Meant

River groaned under her breath, bracing her hands on either side of the window and gripping its edge in a vice like grip. Her knuckles turned white as she let out a long shuddering breath, closing her eyes tightly and bending down slightly to stretch her achy back.

It felt like someone stabbing her in her lower back with a small but sharp dagger, several times in a row and every minute more painfully. She held her breath, pressing her lips together to suppress a grunt. Internally, she was screaming.

"Breathe." She heard the Doctor’s voice distantly. Annoying, _annoying_. She could perfectly picture him with closed eyes. Him, standing two feet away from her, a worried frown on his face, fidgety hands that helped her none. "River, breathe…" If she could just slap him quiet.

"Shut up…" She uttered through clenched teeth, making a grimace as another contraction hit her. She leaned her weight on her hands, using the window for support. She’d found this position to be the best with bearing the pain, if there was a best position to have. She should call it the less worse.

She clenched her jaw tightly and tried to breath more calmly through her nostrils. It was of no use, she couldn’t concentrate on her breathing with the pain shooting through her every minute. Not only were the contractions getting closer, but they were also getting longer and sharper. _Oh dear fuck_. She dropped her head to her chest to swallow a cry. 

"You can ask for the epidural now, Riv." The Doctor continued to babble behind her. She groaned, this time more in irritation that anything else. Shut up, _shut up_. Damn that mouth! If he could just… _stop_.

She pushed away from the window with a loud groan and turned to him. The sight of her must have been a fright. Hair matted at her temples and at the nape of her neck with sweat, curls limp and falling out of her messy bun into her eyes. Another factor of irritation that she didn’t need at the moment.

She was so very hot, she was sweating from all her pores, and she only had a short t-shirt that stopped at her thighs to cover her and her enormous belly. She removed the sweat on her brows with the back of her hands and threw a glare in the Doctor’s direction. "Shut up." She made a step to him and he opened his arms for her that she batted away with a swat on his hands. "Shut up. Shut. Your. Mouth!"

She hit her fists on his chest faintly out of irritation. She mustn’t have been inflicting much pain because he stayed stoic beneath her fists, giving her a comforting smile. She didn’t need his smiles of compassion, she hit him some more, pulling a face as she was hit with another harsh contraction. 

He placed his hands on her shoulders, stroking them tenderly. But his touch made her even hotter and she suddenly felt oppressed under his hands. Batting his hands away, she struggled out of his touch. "Don’t touch me." She uttered, irritated. "Go away. _Go away_!"

The Doctor’s touch left her in a second and she looked up into his eyes, seeing the pained look gazing back at her. Her lips began to quiver and she gripped his shirt forcefully as he made a step back to retreat. "No, stay." She pleaded, beginning to whimper as she brought him back to her. She grasped his shirt at the shoulder, "Stay. Please, don’t go. Don’t leave me alone."

"I won’t." He responded instantly, scooting back closer to her. River scrunched her face into a grimace with a small whimper, dropping her head against his chest and clinging at his now wrinkled shirt.

He stroked her back, rubbing it in places he knew would soothe her, at least in the slightest. This was always as good as any. River pressed her face against his chest, muffling a grunt of pain. This wasn’t the time for an existential crisis, but why wasn’t it the men that had to get through this? Urgh, fucking, _fucking_ pain. She pressed her eyes tightly, her breath coming out raggedly.

"Breathe." He repeated, his voice calmer and more directive. She whimpered in response, hiccuping through the pain. "Breathe like they taught you to." He continued and she groaned, wanting to cower into a little ball and sob away her pain.

"I—" She uttered, her voice weak and shaky. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head against his shirt and scrunched her face into a grimace. "I… I forgot."

She clung to his shirt as he pulled away slightly, "River, look at me." He directed and she looked up slowly, her eyes blurred by the tears. He placed his hands on either side of her face and brushed the tears away from her cheeks. "Do as I do."

He began to take deep breaths, showing her the movements by accentuating his own. She tried to calm down her hiccups and followed his deep breath, starting to slowly come up of her pit as she saw the encouraging look on his face. He smiled at her, exhaling through his mouth. She did the same with a tentative smile. He stroked her cheeks as she took the rhythm of inhaling through her nostrils and exhaling by the mouth.

"Please, take the epidural." He said after a second where she calmed down. "You know it can’t harm the baby, we’ve checked everything on the subject, we did all the researches we had to do. Nothing says we can’t take it." He babbled, holding her face for her to keep her eyes on him. "Please, Riv. I can’t bear seeing you like this."

River continued to breathe deeply but shook her head faintly. "But— But we don’t know if it’ll work." She said before pressing her lips together as a rather forceful contraction hit her. She let out a shuddering breath, trying to remember to breath correctly through it.

"But it could." The Doctor replied, an intensity in his gaze that she’d seldom seen in him. She nearly whimpered at the force of her contractions. Maybe he was right, maybe it could work. Maybe it could relieve her, she wouldn’t say no to be relieved of this unbearable pain. She brought her head back to his chest and exhaled a long breath, stifling a groan. "Please," He begged her, stroking her back.

River’s eyes stung with tears and she pressed her face to his chest. After a second, she nodded faintly. "Alright," She uttered in a whisper. She began to nod more vividly. "I’ll—" She sniffled, her mouth falling open at the violence of her contractions. "I’ll take it."

"Alright, alright." The Doctor pressed his lips to her hair and led her to the hospital bed.

Everything was a blur to her now. She was faintly aware of him helping her sit on the bed and then leaving her alone for a bit. She didn’t know what he was doing, she was left alone with her thoughts and contractions. Dropping her head to her chest, she closed her eyes tightly. If she leaned slightly on her hand, the back pain was slightly reduced, so that’s what she did.

Her brows knitted together as she went through another contraction. The only thing she could see was the floor, the tiles somewhat moving before her. By her own experience, this wasn’t a very good thing. She focused on her breathing, inhaling and exhaling in the best way she could.

Outside of her ringing ears, she heard movement around her. There were multiple people in the room now, she really hoped her husband was somewhere in there. She really needed him in that instant. He was her rock, she was just so shitty and he was being perfect to complete her lack of calm and relaxation.

The exterior sounds came back slightly, her ears clearing up a bit. She heard talking, something that sounded very medical and that she wasn’t able to decipher in that instant. The pain muffled a bit of what was said, her vice like grip on the mattress were the only outside sign of her pain. She wasn’t one to show how pain affected her, but right now, she was internally screaming and would soon properly cry and shout if she wasn’t relieved of this pain.

The Doctor reappeared in front of her like magic and her gaze focused back on him. The noises around her came more distinctly and she saw his mouth move as sounds came out of it. She frowned, trying to concentrate on the sound of his voice.

"River." He called her name and she felt him tug at her shirt. His eyes were filled with a mix of worry and encouragement, that was a peculiar look on him. "I need to remove your shirt for the epidural." Oh yeah, that was right, the epidural. That’s what she had been looking forward to have. She was nearly writhing on the inside.

She lifted her arms tiredly and he passed the shirt over her head expertly. If she wasn’t feeling so bad right now she would have made a joke on this and he would have blushed. Well, another time.

A second ago, she was sweating profusely and now the cold of the room hit her on her naked body and she shivered. It was cold sweat. With only her knickers to cover her dignity, she felt rather cold, her body quickly covering in goosebumps.

Another voice appeared by her side and she lifted her head slightly. It was their midwife, Sara. Her sight was a beacon to her and she even gave her a tentative smile. This was always good to have things to hang on to. "River, dearie." Sara spoke up, laying a hand on her shoulder. "We need you to bend over and stay still until we tell you that we’re finished." She continued to speak but the rest of her sentence was only babbles to her. She would have to thank her afterwards. For all that she’s done for her.

River nodded mindlessly and gripped the Doctor’s arms in front of her. She dropped her head to his chest and felt safe in this position so close to him. She felt his scent against his clothes and breathed in deeply, inhaling the comforting scent. 

He had his arms around her shoulders, squeezing them hard. She pressed her face to the buttons of his shirt and bit her lower lip to keep still.

The pain of the needle in her back was nothing compared to the pain of every increasing contraction that hit her every minute now. She had a high tolerance for pain, a needle she could do, everything she could do. But this, this horrible pain that made you feel like you insides were tearing apart, it was unbearable. 

The pain of the needle was almost soothing, it replaced the harsh pain by a mild and tolerable one.

"It’s okay, we’re done, River." The midwife announced behind her and she let out a trembling breath. Her soft and cold touch on her shoulder brought her back to reality and she looked up slowly, readjusting to the light of the room.

She straightened slightly, her gaze falling back on the Doctor. Blinking several times, she frowned to herself. She didn’t remember him being all blurry. Blinking some more, she looked around the room. Everything swirled around her, the tiles on the floor stretching to anormal shapes a figures. This wasn’t right, this was quite strange.

Gripping the Doctor’s sleeves tightly, she saw him look at her with a hint of worry in his eyes. She made a grimace. "Uh, I’m not feeling very well." Her voice was mellow in her ears and the buzzing returned, this time darkening the edges of her vision.

She had the faint impression of people removing her remaining piece of clothing and laying her on her back. She fell back against the pillow and closed her eyes for a second. Stars danced under her closed lids and she took a deep breath, feeling suddenly very cold. Someone placed a hospital sheet on her body and she brought it up to her chin as her teeth chattered.

The Doctor wove his fingers through her and squeezed hard. His skin was hot against her, she clung to him. When she reopened her eyes after a second, her vision adjusted back to normal and her gaze fell back on the Doctor. She blinked for a few seconds, seeing the worrying frown on his face. "Are you okay?" He asked.

She nodded faintly, blinking the dizziness away. The cold sweat went away and her temperature went back to normal. She dropped the sheet to her chest and let out a deep breath. The pain was still here, but now that she was lying on the bed, she felt like it was slowly becoming better. If better was a word that could apply to the situation.

Sara was talking to the Doctor and they both turned their face to her, listening more intently to what she was saying. "She’s 9 centimetres. This means that she’s very close to being given the green light to give birth but that it’s also not optimal. Believe me, one centimetre makes a difference and she will thank us for that." Then she turned to River, "I’d say we could begin the process in 20 minutes. Let time for the epidural to make its effect, it would be a shame to have done that for nothing. It also leaves the time to get to that 10 centimetres. Have you felt the need to push yet?"

River nodded slowly. "A bit, yeah."

"A bit is great," Sara responded with a smile. "Twenty minutes is all that we need to get everything fully optimal. And absolutely do _not_ push even if you feel the need to. If it’s unbearable, absolutely call us through the emergency button."

River could only nod as the midwife made her way of the room with a warning on her lips and a genuine smile on her face. In a second, she was left alone in her hospital room with her contractions and the Doctor’s hand as the only thing that kept her close to reality.

Her head promptly fell back against the pillow. She whined slightly, scrunching her eyes tightly until she saw stars behind her eyelids. A whimper escaped her lips and she bit them out of irritation. The contractions were as forceful as they were before and she wondered if the epidural was actually going to make things better. She didn’t know, she couldn’t know.

But then the midwife had told her to wait for a bit, she didn’t know if she was going to be able to wait more than a few seconds at the most. She felt the Doctor brushing her crease out of her brows and removing the sweaty curls sticking to her temples. 

She opened her eyes with a groan, shaking her head from side to side to bat his hands away. "Stop it. Stop." She said with a grunt of frustration and blinked at the artificial lights on the ceiling.

Her gaze shifted to the Doctor as she saw him stop and bring his hand back to him. He had his own crease between his brows, his own sign of worry more than irritation. His hair sticked out on edges as if he had been running his hand through it several times in a row. Well, he surely did, knowing him. He was the kind to be anxious and take this anxiousness on his body.

Her face scrunched into a grimace as she was hit by a contraction and the Doctor’s hand squeezed her tight. She was glad to have something to hang on to. _Oh dear_. She let out a small whimper, trying to keep her eyes on him, that was a soothing sight.

"You look ridiculous." She uttered as her face scrunched up into a grimace that looked half as a laugh. She squeezed his hand tightly, biting her lips. His sight was frankly ridiculous. She didn’t know if this had to do with her extended irritation and frustration or the medicine that was currently coursing through her veins. Thinking about it, she rather thought it was the latter. "Where’s your bowtie?" She noticed.

He nodded his head to the discarded object on the table nearby and she grunted in return.

There was this alarmingly painful sensation in her uterus and it frightened her. It wasn’t even pain at this point, the contractions were even, they were still as harsh as possible but at least they weren’t increasing anymore. She could do with that for a short instant. But no, the sensation inside of her was beyond her. It was a thought tugging at her mind to push and the feeling that she really _needed_ to push.

She knew the midwife had told her to wait, but _shit_. She couldn’t repress the feeling, her body was telling her to do something and at that point she was too weak to control any of her movements. _Urgh, oh dear_.

She closed her eyes tightly and placed her fist between her teeth, biting hard. The only thing it did was hurt her more than she was already hurting, she stopped the action, letting her fist drop to her side with a punch to the mattress. Instead, she clench her teeth, letting out a loud groan.

"Urgh, I can’t!" She cried out and reopened her eyes to the strong lights dancing before them. She began to whimper, her face scrunching into a grimace. She pulled the Doctor’s hand to her, begging for his attention and understanding. "You need to call a nurse or- or-, you need to…" She trailed off, whimpering. "I— I can’t bear it anymore."

The Doctor took her hand in both of his, squeezing tight and stroking her knuckles. He leaned over her with a pained expression. "Just a little more, Riv. You can do it. Come on, just as the midwife said, eh? I know you’re str—"

" _No_." She cried out, cutting him and bringing her legs up on the mattress before letting them fall back. This position was even worse to her. She was sweating profusely and the tears blended with droplets of sweat at her temples. "I can’t, I…" She whimpered, breathing through her nostrils to calm herself. She wasn’t going to go anywhere with this whining and crying. "Talk to me, tell me something, anything. Just— Urgh, just… Distract me…" She uttered through bouts of breath.

"Uh," The Doctor babbled, in search for something to say. He stroked the hair out of her face and she didn’t flinch or bat him away this time. "Think about Freya. Think about when she’ll be here and everything will be—"

"Urgh, no." She grunted, cutting him once again. She shook her head vehemently on the pillow. "Not that, no. That’s the last thing I should be thinking about right now." She stopped at a contraction and took a deep breath full of tears. "It just makes me want to push more."

"Okay, okay." He soothed her, brushing her hair back and stroking her forehead with a thumb. His hands were cool on her skin and she let out a faint breath. She closed her eyes, trying to exhale a long breath through her mouth. "Uh, I—" There was only babbles for a second before he actually said something intelligible. "Staying by your bedside six years ago was the best thing I did in my entire life."

River reopened her eyes, looking up at him and forgetting to breath for an instant. For a second, the pain was put in the back of her mind and she grimaced, beginning to whimper for something completely different.

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry." He babbled close to her. "I didn’t want to make you cry again." He said hastily but River shook her head. Well, at least it did the job of distracting her for a few seconds. She was very grateful of that. But as soon as she thought about the matter at hand, a violent contraction hit her, she was left breathless.

"Oh fuck." She muttered as she fell back against her pillow with a muffled shout. She closed her eyes for a second, crushing the Doctor’s hand in her own. Now, there wasn’t anything that would be able to distract her anymore. "Please," She begged, looking back up at the Doctor. "Call the midwife. Whether they want it or not… she’s coming."

The Doctor’s hand left her for a second and she felt herself falling down into a blurred state. Just as quickly as it left her, she found his hand back and squeezed it tight, hoping he would not leave her from that minute forward. 

She was faintly aware of her midwife entering the room with another person on her heels, surely a nurse. Closing her eyes hard, she muffled a cry as contractions hit her and she wasn’t able to do anything to make them stop.

"Looks like you’re definitely ready now." Sara spoke up close to her and she reopened her eyes to gaze at her. "This was quicker than I thought but then it’s always that way." River practically sighed in relief and exhaled a long breath, sagging against her pillow. "Now, now it’s not the time to feel relieved, the best part is yet to come and I need your full attention for that, dearie. Let’s do it properly, shall we?"

She placed River’s leg in stirrups and River felt her hearts suddenly beating madly in her chest. She squeezed the Doctor’s hand tightly, looking up at him with eyes a mixture of fear, pain and, somewhere at the back, exhilaration. This was the final stretch, the thing she had been looking forward to. It was nearly there.

The midwife was getting ready in front of her but she wasn’t paying much attention to what she was doing. Her thoughts were now only centered on her and Freya. "Alright," Sara spoke up after what felt like decades. "At your next contraction, push with everything that you have."

The Doctor squeezed her hand in reassurance and she took a deep breath, feeling the next contraction arrive. _Well, here I go_.

"Alright, push." River blocked her breath and pushed with all her might. She squinted her eyes shut and grunted through the effort. The pain was horrible, it was unbearable, it was worse than a knife in the guts but so, _so_ relieving at the same time. "Come on, come on, come on." The midwife encouraged her and she groaned with a cry, falling back on her pillow with heavy breathing. The Doctor brushed back the curls of her face and she whimpered slightly, her mouth ajar as she breathed through the pain. "You’re doing very good, don’t give up. Come on, next contraction I want you to do the exact same."

She crunched the Doctor’s hand, and at the next contraction she pushed with everything she had in her, gritting her teeth to bear the pain. She didn’t know how many times she repeated this process; taking a large intake of breath, pushing, falling back against her pillow with a whimper and long uneven breaths.

The Doctor was here to help her with words of comfort and soothing caresses. He was encouraging her and this was what gave her all her remnant strength to continue and not give up. She knew her strength was leaving her body, she knew she was getting weaker by the minute, but she had to keep going, she was so close to it, she was—

Suddenly, a faint wail pierced the silence of the room and it was the only noise that River could hear now. No more groans and grunts, no more words from the midwife. Everything was calm and the wail soon transformed into a strong cry.

And all of a sudden, she fell back against her pillow and cried. The pain faded away in an instant and she was beaming. Crying and beaming. A wailing baby was placed on her bare chest and her eyes were transfixed by its sight. She didn’t know what to do with her hands, her eyes were blurry and she quickly blinked not to lose a single movement of her baby.

Her _baby_. She stroked her back hesitantly, holding it close to her hearts. She was beautiful, she was the most beautiful sight she’d ever witnessed in her whole life. She was there, crying, breathing, crunching her hands in tiny fists, and River’s eyes were transfixed on her small figure.

Tears were running down her face and she glanced up at the Doctor, proudly. A sob escaped her lips as she saw him, beaming with tears escaping his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. And it suddenly felt like everything stopped around them. It was only the three of them now. Nothing else mattered, everything that she needed was close to her.

The Doctor sniffled and leaned down to kiss her forehead longingly before stroking his baby’s cheek with a trembling and uncertain finger. He let out a shuddering breath but he was beaming, and his smile brightened the entire room.

The tears rolled down her temples and disappeared in her hair. She was faintly aware of the nurse cleaning her baby and then covering her with a sheet. _Oh Freya_. She’d stopped wailing by now and she was looking up at her curiously, gazing at the strange person she recognised as her mother with piercing blue eyes. 

Freya closed her eyes, her tiny hands moving wildly with her lack of control over her new limbs. River smiled as more tears were spilled. Everything was a blur around her, she was faintly aware of the Doctor cutting the umbilical cord and coming back to her a second later. He’d wiped the tears from his eyes and was now looking down at her and their baby with such adoration already she felt her hearts squeeze in her chest.

He bent down and placed a soft kiss on Freya’s head, he was already besotted with their child. She smiled, stroking his face with trembling fingers and he bent down to kiss her lips. She let out a small sob and gripped at his hair, nuzzling her face against his. And he beamed against her.

"Alright," The midwife spoke up, breaking their bubble in time. River looked up at her with moist eyes. "Sorry to interrupt but we have to take the baby with us for the first check." River left a longing kiss on her daughter’s head and whispered her love to her before letting her being scooped up by Sara. "The Daddy can come with us."

The Doctor nodded quickly and bent down to press a soft kiss on her lips, bringing his hands around her face. "I love you." He murmured against her lips, leaving a last peck on them.

"I love you, too." She whispered back, looking into his eyes with such love and joy. He bit his lips a bubbly chuckle escaped him. He pressed another kiss to her cheek.

Then he straightened up and gave her a dimpled smile before hurrying up after the midwife out of the room. River’s head fell back against the pillow, she looked up at the ceiling. And her lips stretched into a beaming smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it... This is not yet the end but it's the beginning of something _amazing_. This moment will always make me emotional and it's finally out (literally, _oh jeez why am I so funny, this is unbearable_ ) Leave a kudo if you liked this chapter and of course comments give me energy!
> 
> Chapter title by Sleeping At Last with 'Life'.


	25. The World Is Brighter Than the Sun Now That You're Here

Amy flopped down on the couch with a sigh, she dropped her head on the back of it and looked at the ceiling without really looking at it. There was a mix of boredom, anticipation, frustration and anxiousness in her gaze. It was amazing how many emotions her eyes could hold, but in this moment she thought she was going to burst.

She let out a loud sigh to express her raging emotions.

"Don’t be so dramatic." Rory spoke up as he sat down next to her, two takeout boxes in his hands. He nudged her with one and she looked down out of her haze.

She glanced at him, taking the box in hand and examining the content. Curry. There was a hint of guilt and joy in her. They’d been forbidden of any spiced food for the past few months for the sake of River’s pouts of envy. It was the end of torturous spice less takeout nights. Well, for them…

She threw a smile at her husband but pursed her lips into a frown, pouting slightly. Dropping her head on his shoulder, she shifted closer and snuggled against him. Her gaze was fixed on the TV in front of them broadcasting nonsensical programmes, as usual.

"He promised he would give us some news. He hasn’t sent any text since I left." There was a pout on her face and glanced at her phone laying on the coffee table, waiting for a text to come. It stood there like a beacon, like an answer to everything. Well, at that instant, it probably was.

"They’re probably busy, Amy." Rory said rationally. He was the nurse, he was always being the rational one. "Don’t worry, he will text when Freya will be there obviously. If he doesn’t right now it doesn’t mean he’s ignoring you, you know." Amy nodded mindlessly and he smirked in return. "And well, maybe he’s forgotten about us."

Amy groaned in response, nuzzling her face in the crook of his neck. She would probably kick his ass if he forgot about them, which was a very plausible idea knowing him. She was eager to get news, she really _needed_ news right now. She was way past excited to be calm about everything now.

This wasn’t everyday that your daughter gave birth to her first child. Her _granddaughter_. The prospect was exhilarating, numerous thoughts swirled in her head. About how she would look like, about how pretty she would be, about how the Doctor would react. All of those thoughts were for the moment unanswered and she was getting mad.

"We’re going to be grandparents now." She said softly, looking up at his face. A smile escaped his lips and he looked down, nodding. Her smile soon transformed into a pout and she giggled slightly. "I’m way too young to be called grandma." She grimaced before pursing her lips into a pout. "Although I want to be called grandma, which is weird."

Rory snorted, placing his box of takeout on the coffee table before coming back to his wife and bringing his arm around her shoulders. "We’re going to be wonderful grandparents, alright? You know, the ones so besotted with their grandchild that they spoil them rotten and become all gaga on them. That’s us right here, old people overjoyed by their grandchild’s achievements in life."

Amy hid a smile against his shoulder. She could totally picture them acting that way. Well, first of all, it was their daughter’s child and that was already wild enough. And second, it was their best friend’s child too. This child would be so loved by their grandparents it will be sickening and she will cringe at the memories once she’d be something like 15. Urgh, better not think of Freya as a 15 year-old-girl. Not yet, that was too soon. 

"Do you think Freya will have blue eyes?" She asked after a minute of silence, playing with the hem of her shirt and glancing slightly at him.

"Most babies have blue eyes." Rory replied, looking down at her to see her roll her eyes at his rationality and nurse-like talk. "But yeah, I have no doubt on that. I’m pretty sure she will."

Amy smiled to herself, already picture how her granddaughter will look like. Surely a pouty mouth like the Doctor, and maybe the agility of his limbs, which was somewhat lacking at times. Well, who knows. She was sure Freya would have her mother’s beauty.

"I’m sure she will have the same hair as River, it’s inevitable." She added, already thinking of the possibilities of ponytails and pigtails. Oh no, this was way too cute. "And who knows, maybe she’s going to be ginger. I know the Doctor would love her to be ginger, that would quench his own want for ginger hair."

Rory chuckled, "She will more likely have strawberry blonde hair."

Amy tilted her head to the side with a small nod, approving. Her granddaughter was going to be beautiful anyway. She didn’t have to worry for that.

Suddenly, Amy’s phone buzzed with the notification of a new text. A gasp escaped her lips and she lurched forward swiftly and snatched it from the coffee table. Her eyes roamed over the screen avidly, drinking in the new piece of information she just received. The scene looked quite ridiculous.

> From River:
> 
> _Hey!! It’s the Doctor here. (River’s a bit busy right now) I remember you promised you would maim me if I didn’t send you news, so here I am! Eager to keep all my body pieces together! Sadly we’re still waiting, but we’re slowly getting there! Yay! :)_

"What is it?" Rory asked eagerly as he saw Amy’s face lit up at the text and slightly frown as she read through it. 

"It’s the Doctor." She said flatly and looked up at him with a soft pout. "They’re still waiting." She jutted out her lips with a childish frown and he gave her a compassionate smile, just trying to make her feel better. Amy was so excited sometimes, it was hard to get her down from a frustrating disappointment. Her phone buzzed once again and she quickly looked down at the screen, snorting at its sight. "And he just sent me a picture of himself with a dog filter." She chuckled. "I think he found the perfect way to occupy himself."

Rory leaned over her shoulder to peek at the screen. The Doctor looked ridiculous, as usual. As long as he wasn’t bothering River with his childish games, it was okay. He guessed… He leaned against Amy’s shoulder as he watched her writing a text back.

> From Amy:
> 
> _I hope River is doing okay and you’re not being too annoying. Try to keep the fun down, though. Something tells me she will be slightly irritated if she sees you having a blast of a time while she’s doing all she can not to scream at you._

She instantly received a text back.

> From River:
> 
> _She’s good, a bit sulky but good nonetheless. We’re a bit bored actually, there’s nothing we can do to make things go faster. So we’re just waiting, you know. :)_

Amy smiled, shaking her head at his idiocy. She received a follow up picture, this time one of River. Her daughter was sitting on her bed with monitors strapped around her stomach and other medical monitors in the back of the room. She had a crease between her brows as she appeared to have a Rubik’s cube in hands. She did look rather annoyed and frustrated.

Amy laughed softly, tilting the screen to Rory. He observed the picture for a second, squinting his eyes with a faint smile playing at his lips. "She looks rather cross. Is this the effect of Rubik’s cube on people?"

With a faint laugh, Amy nodded, pursing her lips into an approving smile. "Or maybe it’s just the Doctor’s excitement rubbing off on her, the wrong way I’d say. He has quite the talent of making people irritated by his joyful self."

Looking back down at the screen, she wrote a response. 

> From Amy:
> 
> _Looks like she’s a bit annoyed. Tame down the excitement, will you? :) Riv’s the sort of person to get easily irritated by your moods. But then she’s your wife, she knows her way… ;)_

He responded instantly.

> From River:
> 
> _Oi! I’m being all calm and tamed down. I know the rules. Don’t show your excitement if Riv’s not feeling like sharing it. DUH!I know how she can get, but she usually is fine with my excitement because, you know, I’m her husb_

The text finished in a peculiar way. Amy frowned before receiving another message from him.

> From River:
> 
> _Sorry, River hurled a Rubik’s cube at my face._

Amy laughed out loud, showing her phone to Rory. "Why doesn’t that even surprise me?" He stated, rolling his eyes at the screen. Of course the Doctor would be this childish. And of course River would be irritated by that. It was the point of their relationship, really. There were no surprises, but it was always funny to witness, even after a few years of constant bickering.

It showed their love for each other. It was beautiful, Amy thought. 

> From Amy:
> 
> _Just try and be nice to her. :)_

She knew she didn’t need to tell him that. The Doctor might be childish sometimes but he was very responsible and loving. He would never not be nice to River, this was unimaginable. Not to them. Never to them.

> From River:
> 
> _I am nice!!_

Amy chuckled, rolling her eyes. She knew he was, she had no doubts in that. If he could simply be somewhat less childish, that would be the dream. But then, one couldn’t change a person like that. And frankly, she didn’t really want him to change, he was perfectly fine that way. What a pair him and his daughter would make, this was a thing she was eager to witness.

> From Amy:
> 
> _Did the nurses tell you anything about how things were moving? Do you have any more information now, surely the nurses know things, right? Do you know how much longer you will have to wait?_

Amy knew she was bombarding him with question that he may well not have the answer to. But she was so eager to know things. She could really help it.

A few minutes passed before she received a text back.

> From River:
> 
> _The midwife says that it could take between 2 to 6 hours, really. :( She says that every delivery is different and she can’t absolutely know how things are going to go. It could either come very quickly or very slowly. She tells us that we will at least have her during the night, if not before. So, yeah, waiting… :(_

Amy pouted, looking at the time on her phone. It was past 7 already. The wait was only continuing. 

> From Amy:
> 
> _Well, I hope everything goes well! Give me some news when you’ll have some, me and Rory are very eager to know! :)_
> 
> From River:
> 
> _Will do! :D_

Amy placed her phone back on the coffee table and snuggled back against Rory’s chest. She took back her box of takeout but looked ahead of herself in the window, watching the sun set slowly. "Now we just have to wait, some more." She whispered against his side and felt him hum in response.

He squeezed her shoulder, feeling as eager as her to meet the new addition to the family.

—

The Doctor quickened the pace as he hurried after the midwife. The latter walked through the corridor with the bundle in her arms and stopped in front of a room, opening it with her foot. The Doctor slipped through it after her and stood close as she laid the baby down on a small changing table.

He rocked on his feet, awkwardly standing a foot away. His eyes were fixed on his baby girl, clumsily wriggling her arms and feet in the air as she looked around the room with big and curious eyes, making small whimpers every now and then. She was beautiful.

The midwife beckoned him closer and he willingly took a step forward, his fingers itching to touch his daughter. "She’s very calm." Sara stated, glancing up at him to smile kindly. "You’ve got a calm baby. You’re very lucky, they’re always the ones we prefer." She winked at him and he couldn’t help but smile, looking back down at Freya.

He watched as the midwife cleaned her, small noises escaping his daughter’s mouth at the surprising new sounds, sights and feels. He didn’t know if babies were much aware of everything around them, maybe his daughter was particularly bright. Maybe it was Time Lord genes, or maybe he was just projecting because it was his daughter and he was very proud of what he did.

His gaze stayed fixed on his daughter as Sara weighed, measured and made her do some exercises that apparently were necessary for the baby’s development. Freya whimpered slightly through it but didn’t make much fuss about it. He was impressed, for the moment she was born, she cried only once; the rest of the time she looked around her with awe and surprise. Well, the cries would come later, he knew even them wouldn’t escape it.

At last, the midwife dressed her with the outfit they chose for her. It was slightly big on her but he was sure she would grow into it. She placed a beanie on her head and tucked her little ears underneath. "There, you’re all clean and perfect now." She said, picking her up. She turned to him, holding his daughter to her chest. "Do you want to hold her?"

The Doctor opened his mouth slightly, his arms instinctively reaching out for her. He hesitated, seeing the small creature in the midwife arms, Sara seemed so at ease with her. That was a far cry from him.

"Uh, I…" He uttered, the words bumping into one another as he felt a mix of eagerness and apprehension rise inside of him. "I don’t really know how to."

The midwife chuckled with a well knowing smile. "Don’t worry, there’s nothing to fear. Sit on the chair there," She nodded to the armchair in the corner behind her. "And I’ll put her in your arms. It’s not hard, really. It’s quite instinctive."

The Doctor nodded at her words and came to sit on the directed chair. Slowly, she delicately placed Freya in his arms and he didn’t move, afraid to do something wrong if he did. Freya didn’t stir in his arms, oscillating between a sleeping and awake phases.

"Mind her head." Sara added, moving his arm a bit to place her head on the crook of his elbow. "There, see, not hard, eh?" He nodded absentmindedly, his gaze already transfixed on her daughter in his arms. He had his daughter in his arms!

Freya wiggled her arms slightly, her eyes opening more fully to look up at his face. He couldn’t help but smile down at her, already besotted with her sight. She was quite a sight. Slowly, feeling that she wasn’t needed much for attention, Freya closed back her eyes, her lips puckering up into a pout.

"I’ll be out for a few minutes." The midwife spoke up and he looked up at her, breaking out of his trance. He nodded without a word. "I won’t be long. Don’t worry, you’re doing just fine."

He nodded mindlessly, his eyes falling back on his daughter before she was even out of the room. His eyes were transfixed on her small form, unable to look away. She illuminated the room, his room at least.

The room was softly lit to accommodate them. Outside was only darkness, his daughter was a night baby. She was born with the stars, such a nice metaphor to such a miracle Time Lady. And she was his daughter.

His daughter. The term seemed so foreign to his ears but now it was real. Now she was here. And he felt himself filled with such emotions he couldn’t name yet. It was a mix of joy and pride, and such awe it made his chest hurt with butterflies. It was better than the universe’s wonders, it felt brighter that the light of a star. It was just… _surreal_.

Unable to keep himself from touching her, he brought a finger to her tiny fist and she instantly gripped it tightly, her eyes blinking open slightly. He grinned, feeling something cling at his throat. "Hello Freya," He whispered, and his voice felt hoarse. He snorted, looking up at the ceiling and blinking rapidly. "Rory wasn’t wrong, you can’t help it."

He looked back down at her, smiling softly. She was gazing at him, her eyes slightly closing at times.

"I’m your daddy." He murmured, stroking her tiny hand with his thumb as she gripped his index. He wondered if she knew, if she realised that he was the one who had been talking to her for all those months. Maybe she knew, surely she knew. He wondered if the beating of his hearts against her was a soothing feeling, a feeling so close to her mother’s it should bring her some comfort. He very well thought it did, seeing her so calm and relaxed in his arms, watching him with eyes of wonder.

She waved her arms slightly, his finger falling out of her grip. He stroked her cheek softly and small sounds escaped her mouth. It wasn’t yet coos but felt very close to a sign of response from her part. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head slightly. "I— You’re the only one I’m telling this to but…" He smiled, "I don’t really speak baby."

A snort escaped his mouth and her eyes rounded at the sound, she wiggled her legs in what looked like excitement. He smothered a hand down her stomach and it surprisingly made her stop wiggling. See, he was already learning her.

"I just said that so people are impressed and I feel proud of myself. That’s rubbish." He shook his head at his own idiocy. "First advice in life, don’t do that." He paused, trailing a delicate finger up to her face and down her nose. Her eyes closed softly. "The truth is, I’m quite frightened. I don’t know what to do with my limbs, I don’t trust myself holding you other that like this. I’m quite clumsy, it’s unnerving. I hope you won’t be. But your mother is here to balance the clumsiness, she’s all gracious and beautiful. You’ll see for yourself." He smiled to himself now that his daughter had closed her eyes, soft breaths coming out of her mouth. "I’m quite rubbish at being this confident dad."

But he knew he had nothing to fear. He knew that everything would be alright. Craig and Sophie were right, you can only learn to take care of your baby once it’s in your arms. You feel like their protector, like nothing can tear you apart, like, for a moment, you’re the strongest. He knew there was nothing to be afraid of from now on.

He stroked her cheek delicately. "I’m your dad and you’ll always be safe within my arms. You’ll always be loved, always be cherished and protected. I promise. You have the world at your fingertips." He took her hand back and delighted as she squeezed his finger. "I love you so much, you mother loves you so much. You’re everything to us. And you’ll meet so many other people that will be delighted to see you, that will protect you and care for you. There are so many people willing to open up their heart for you. Just you wait."

He thought of how the birth of his daughter would impact his life. It wouldn’t be the same now, it would be so much better, so much brighter. River and him, he knew, would make wonderful parents, he had no doubts on that.

"You’re a miracle, Freya." He whispered, bending down to kiss her forehead. She didn’t stir, peacefully sleeping against his warm side. "One day, I’ll show you the stars and the planets. And I’ll discover the world through your eyes. You’ll see how beautiful the world is, how many miracles it holds. And to me, you’re the greatest of miracles. The world is full of mysteries and splendors and we will unravel them together. I promise."

His eyes stayed focused on the sleeping bundle in his arms. In a way, it felt more than comforting. It felt natural, it felt like he’s always done that. He was happy.

The midwife reentered the room after a minute and he hastily wiped the wetness under his eyes, smiling up at her. She was rolling a bassinet beside her.

"Everything went well?" She asked but didn’t really need to given by the bright smile on his face. He nodded nonetheless. "Alright, I’ll bring you to your room. River is already in there and before you ask she’s perfectly fine, albeit quite tired, which frankly we can grant her." The Doctor nodded, smiling. She took Freya from his arms and the baby stirred slightly until she was resting on the bassinet, falling into a deep sleep. "You want to roll her?"

The Doctor nodded eagerly, standing up from the armchair and taking hold of the bassinet with his sleeping daughter. He followed the midwife out of the room and into the corridors. They arrived in a part of the building that looked way more comfortable, quite nearly imitating the feel at home.

They entered their designated bedroom and the Doctor saw River in the bed, sleeping. Her position told him it was out of exhaustion and against her will, he chuckled softly, he knew his wife too much to think otherwise.

"Poor dear, she was exhausted." The midwife cooed and he placed the bassinet close to the bed, leaning over River to caress her cheek and kiss her temple. "That’s what night babies do to you." Sara chuckled and leaned against the door. The Doctor glanced at her with a small smile. "Well then, I’ll be out now that you won’t need my assistance anymore. Don’t hesitate to ask for anything, we’re here for that."

And with that, she went out of the room, leaving him alone with his wife and daughter. He was outnumbered with girls now, he chuckled to himself. It was fine with him.

Bringing the armchair resting in the corner closer, he flopped down into it and scooted closer to bring his hand into the bassinet, gently stroking his daughter’s cheek. Her skin was soft against his fingers, it was adorable.

He couldn’t help but smile brightly, looking up at River’s sleeping form on her bed. "My girls." He whispered faintly, biting back a grin. Now his family was complete, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

—

Amy flopped down on her bed in exhaustion, her face pressed into her pillow as she let out a frustrated groan. It was already half past one, nearly two if she stretched it a bit. No news. Well, news but not news. Each text she received was a confirmation that they were still waiting. Things seemed to move so slowly around her, it was infuriating. The last text she received had been more than two hours ago, and since then nothing.

Rory crawled in bed next to her, rolling his eyes at her dramatic expression. She turned her face to him, uncovering the scold on her face that soon transformed into a pout as she gave him puppy dog eyes.

"Don’t make this face, you’ll have wrinkles." He chuckled, turning off the light on his nightstand and crawling under the covers. Only Amy’s light illuminated the room and she turned on her side to gaze at him, placing her hand under her cheek.

"How can you be so calm and relaxed when we’re eagerly waiting for news of our daughter and granddaughter?" She observed him with a raised eyebrow and tugged the cover to her chin, making her look like a whiny child. "I can’t sleep with all the awaiting thoughts swirling into my mind." She pointed to her head, it made him snort. "I need to be given some rest."

Rory placed his chin in his hand, propping himself on his elbow as he gazed down at her. "I’m relaxed because there is only two answers to why they’re not giving us news yet. First, Freya’s still not born and the Doctor has other things to think about such as River. Second, she is born and he hasn’t had the time to tell us the news yet."

Amy pouted, nuzzling her face against her pillow. Even with her childish pout he could see a smile tugging at her lips as she heard him speak of Freya. Although Rory wasn’t a maternity nurse, he had a fair knowledge of how things happened. He didn’t worry for the lack of news.

He smiled down at his wife. "And if Freya’s born already, the Doctor must be very busy at the moment. Sorry to tell you but you won’t be the first thing on his mind." Amy smiled softly at his words and he could see every thought swirling in her mind on this instant. 

She closed her eyes, relaxing slightly. She was exhausted, excitement and eagerness were only feelings but it could wear out a person. At least, Amy hadn’t shrieked, this was good so far. Amy let out a sigh and pressed her face in the pillow, the light behind her illuminating her back. Rory watched her for an instant, relishing on the calm moments his wife had.

Suddenly, Amy’s phone buzzed behind her and her eyes popped open abruptly with a short intake of breath. Oh well, here went his calm moment of peace. But he smirked nonetheless, because this was news, and he had a good feeling.

Amy reached for her phone and laid back on her side, the phone turned away from him. It didn’t matter, he saw the news on her face.

The phone illuminated her face and Amy paused for a second, her eyes drinking the screen avidly. She bit her lower lip, her face blossoming into a wide grin that he thought reached her ears. His face mirrored hers, his lips stretching into a bright smile.

"Oh my god…" She whispered, trailing off into what would have looked like a squeak if her voice wasn’t constricted by overwhelming feelings. "Oh, she… she…" She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with amazement. "She’s so cute. She’s beautiful!"

Rory rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile hurting his cheeks. "Show me then."

Amy turned her phone to him and he took it, seeing a text followed by a picture. His smile brightened even more, his heart aching in his chest out of awe and delight.

In a little bassinet rested a sleeping baby girl. It was Freya, she was here, she was born. Her face was still a bit red from birth and a tiny beanie covered the top of her head but he could already see how beautiful she was going to be. Dark lashes caressed her cheeks and her lips were puckered in a pout. It strangely reminded him of the Doctor but he saw Amy’s pout mirroring in the picture. He smiled.

She was dressed in a light pink outfit that was slightly too big for her. He snorted because River had surrendered over pink outfits. But she looked adorable, she was beautiful. He could imagine her tiny arms and feet wriggling around, waiting to discover the world. She was magnificent.

He looked at the text accompanying the picture. 

> From River:
> 
> _Welcome to Freya Amelia Song! She was born at 1:16 am on the 21st March and she is perfectly well and beautiful! River is very good and we’re both so happy to welcome her in the family and into this world! :)_

Amy scooted closer, taking the phone from his hands and placing it between them so that they could both see the screen. She lay onto her back and glanced at him, a soft smile stretching on her lips.

"She’s beautiful." She whispered and he nodded. She was the most beautiful sight, indeed.

Freya reminded him of his own daughter, of the few moments he’d had with her when she was only a baby. Those few minutes would always be etched in his memory, she had been so beautiful, so perfect. And now he thought of his own baby giving birth to hers. He knew the feeling, the awe, the wonder. It was exhilarating, it was… simply phenomenal.

He had a granddaughter now. And she just became the most precious little girl he’s ever seen.

The received a follow up text before they even broke out of their phase to respond.

> From River:
> 
> _PS: She has the beautiful blue eyes of her mother._

Amy beamed beside him, biting her lips as she replied to his messages.

> From Amy:
> 
> _She’s so gorgeous! Congratulations!! I hope you have a wonderful time with her at the hospital. Me and Rory are so overjoyed for you, we’re so eager to finally meet her! And she has the same pout as you, this is so cute!! Tell us when we can come and meet her and give ALL our love to River! Give her many kisses from us until we can give her some ourselves! <3_

As she hit send, she threw a glance at Rory and he smiled down at her, his eyes still glazed over by awe. She snuggled closer to him and nuzzled her nose on his shoulder. He stroked her hair tenderly. "We’re grandparents now." He whispered against the crown of her head and she looked up at him, beaming with a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

"And I’m starting to like it," She whispered back, biting her lip as she couldn’t quite believe what was happening. "It’s weird, I’m not even 30 but I’m so looking forward to be a grandmother and spoil her rotten. I want to give her every ounce of love I have in my body." She chuckled to herself and Rory snorted against her hair, pressing a loving kiss to the crown of her head.

They received another text, making them glance back at the phone. 

> From River:
> 
> _Thank you! We’re simply overjoyed by all this and we need some getting used to this now but in the best of ways! I’ll pick you up tomorrow (well today) in the afternoon or later, it depends on how we manage things but eh! AND I took pictures in every angle as you asked me, I’ll show you tomorrow!!_
> 
> From River:
> 
> _I’ll go to sleep before I drop off on the phone. Everyone is asleep and the prospect of some hours of rest looks wonderful to me!_

Amy chuckled at the phone and sent her goodnights and loves to him before placing back the phone on the nightstand and snuggling back against her husband chest. Even with her eyes closed, Amy kept on beaming radiantly. Rory smiled down at her, tugging her closer to him.

"I think you deserve to sleep too." He said, stroking her hair. "We’ll meet our granddaughter in a few hours, don’t want to be tired for that."

Amy laughed, quickly bringing the cover up to her chin and squeezing her eyes shut tightly. Rory chuckled at her childishness. Now, thinking of Amy and the Doctor, there were three child in the house. The pair they would make. "Alright, I’m sleeping." Amy stated, turning on her side and pressing her nose to his chest.

He waited for a few seconds, the silence reigning in the room. Then, quite as expected as he knew his wife way too much, Amy let out a faint squeak of glee and he giggled, leaning over her to turn off her lamp.

He resettled against her, bringing her closer to him and closing his eyes, thoughts and images swirling behind his closed eyelids.

Tomorrow was going to be a great day. It was going to be… _amazing_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you liked this chapter and the amount of effort I put into those _texts effects_.
> 
> Chapter title by Sleeping At Last with 'Light'.


	26. Been Dreaming of This Since a Child

River’s eyes blinking open as she roused from her sleep induced state. She nuzzled her face against the pillow, bringing her hand to her face to rub at her eyes. Groaning inwardly, she removed the hand from her eyes, blinking at the foreign room she was in. _Shit_ , she fell asleep.

Propping herself on her elbow, she looked around the room with a bemused frown. Her head spun slightly and black spots obscured her vision but she blinked them away. She squinted her eyes at the dimmed light on her nightstand, it illuminated the room in a faint glow and gave it an ethereal shine.

She exhaled a long breath, rubbing at the corner of her eyes. The black spots disappeared progressively. Her eyes fell down at the movement by her side, a timid smile suddenly growing on her lips. 

Her daughter slept in her tiny bassinet, arms and legs moving slightly, almost by instinct. River bit her lower lip and lifted herself from the bed, her hand supporting her weight. She didn’t make another move, her eyes staying fixed on her daughter’s form in her own little bed. Her sight transfixed her. She smiled softly, not quite believing what she was seeing. 

She glanced ahead of her for an instant. Her eyes fell on the Doctor’s sleeping form in the armchair. His arm rested on the armrest and held his chin while his head dangerously tilted off his support. His mouth was slightly ajar and he let out tiny puffs of air every now and then. That was an adorable sight.

But not as adorable as her daughter’s was.

Rising into a sitting position, she winces as she was reminded of how sore she was. She had quite forgotten about it when she first work up, how what a bliss those few minutes had been. The pain was to be expected, frankly. Giving birth was no easy process. But the sight of her daughter made the pain fly away in an instant. She was the reward to all those hours of pain, and she was worth it.

Sitting on the bed with the covers polling at her side, she tucked her legs under her and scooted closer to the edge. She rolled the bassinet closer delicately until it touched the side of the bed.

Freya looked so adorable in there, sleeping with not a care in the world. Bringing a hand to her cheek, she stroked her skin softly, mindful of not waking her. She wanted to take her in her arms, to feel her close to her. But River felt quite afraid of doing so. Freya looked so tiny in the bassinet, so fragile. Plus, she was sleeping and looked like she wouldn’t want anyone to wake her up.

River knew she wouldn’t drop her, but there was still a hint of fear in her hearts.

She shifted nervously on the bed, her hands wavering slightly above her daughter. But then, she thought, it would come naturally, instinctively. There was nothing to be scared off, she wasn’t afraid of herself, so then she wouldn’t need to be afraid of her moves.

With her lip between her teeth, she slipped a hand under her daughter’s head and grimaced faintly as Freya opened her mouth slightly, exhaling a breath. She slipped her other hand beneath her back and lifted her out of the bassinet, anxiously bringing Freya to her. 

She sat back against the headboard, sighing off her anxiousness. She placed her sleeping daughter in the crook of her arm and settled into a more comfortable position. "Here we go." She murmured to no one in particular and readjusted the beanie on her daughter’s head.

She suddenly felt very proud of this achievement; taking her daughter in her arms without dropping her nor rousing her out of sleep. That was a first thing gone as she would have hoped.

The room was silent around her, even the noise outside of their room were muffled. She didn’t know what time it was, surely the middle of the night given the sky out the window was still pitch black and everyone in the room, except for her, was asleep.

She gazed down at Freya, stroking the knuckles of her tiny fist. _I did that_ , she thought. _I made a human being and now she’s in my arms_. It wasn’t the time to dwell on how humans were a peculiar but at the same time wonderful species. But the person she held in her arms was such an incredible thing it rendered her speechless.

She was so tiny but so big at the same time. She already held both of River’s hearts in her small hands. She had such an already big place in her, it was astonishing. She was everything.

Smothering a hand down her sleep suit, River couldn’t help but notice how big it looked on Freya. She would soon grow in it, to the delight of her parents. River trailed her finger up to her daughter’s face, stroking a finger against her chubby baby cheek. This was so adorable. Freya surely got her cheeks from her, there was no doubt on that.

Her mouth was slightly ajar as she slept and River had to hide a smile for that particular trait of her daughter, it was hilarious. She smirked, glancing up at the Doctor sleeping on the side, the same pouty mouth held ajar. His palm stretched his cheek and she was practically sure he was slightly drooling. Fantastic, now we have two droolers.

Freya was only a few hours old and it appeared she was already taking everything from her father’s attitude. _Father_. The word was strange in her mind as she associated it with the Doctor. She’d been using it for a while now, but now it was suddenly real.

They were parents now. The thought was so surreal.

River looked down at her daughter nestled in her arms, enthralled by her sight. Well, objectively speaking, she was the most beautiful baby she’d ever seen. Not that she’d seen many babies, but she instantly decided her own was the most beautiful. She had the right to say that, it was her own daughter.

It was funny, she was sore and tired, she probably looked like a fright and she didn’t even want to think about her hair. But… She felt wonderful with her daughter in her arms. She was a sort of healer to all her pains. Freya made her forget everything about the world around them, it was only the two of them right now. She quite liked the picture.

She’d been dreading that once her daughter was there she wouldn’t feel natural about her, she wouldn’t have this mother instinct. She had reasons to fear she wouldn’t be very mother material, but now her worries could finally rest.

It felt natural. It felt like she’d been made to be a mother. A _mother_. Oh dear, she was a mother now. And she wasn’t scared, she was anxious yes, but she wasn’t afraid of being a mother and taking care of her child. Having her now in her arms she knew there was nothing to be scared of.

She knew she would do great, she would try her best and she had faith in herself.

Suddenly, a loud thump and a commotion broke the silence and Freya’s sleep at the same time. She began to wail in her mother’s arms and River went wide eyed. This was something she hadn’t been ready for. How did one stop a crying baby already?

Her hands smothered down her daughter’s stomach hesitatingly. "Shush, it’s okay." She tried calming her down. "Don’t worry, it’s just…" She trailed off, glancing in the direction of the commotion. The Doctor was sitting on his butt, on the floor, rubbing at his temple with a wince. "It’s just daddy who fell off his armchair."

She threw him a glare and he gave her a sheepish smile that looked more like a grimace. Looked back down at Freya, she rocked her reassuringly in her arms and smothered a hand down her tummy. Since there wasn’t anything else to be scared of, Freya calmed down slightly and her wails turned into whimpers until she wasn’t crying anymore, only simply looking up at her with round eyes full of tears.

"There, it’s okay, you’re okay now." River whispered, brushing the tears off her daughter’s cheeks. She gave her a besotted smile, watching as Freya’s eyes moved in all directions to take every image in. She looked back at the Doctor after a second, catching his own eyes on her. She gave him a questioning stare. "How did you even manage to fall off an armchair?" She asked with a bewildered tone.

The Doctor shrugged, lifting himself back up on the armchair. "It’s extremely uncomfortable, I’ll have you know. Try and find a good position to sleep in an armchair." He rubbed at his temple with a wince. "I think I’ll have a bump now."

River chuckled, shaking her head, "Come here, then." She patted the space on the bed and he approached, sitting on the edge of the bed with a tired sigh. He smiled down at his daughter, caressing her cheek softly and she looked wildly around at the new person in her field of vision. 

When he sat back down, she saw him gaze at her with an undecipherable look on his face. She smiled timidly, looking down at her daughter rather than at the strange look on her face.

"What?" She inquired, a smile playing on her lips as she softly rocked Freya in her arms, making cooing faces at her.

He shook his head with a smirk and she looked back up at him, a questioning frown on her lips. "Nothing." He said, "It’s just… you both look beautiful together." River pursed her lips into a shy smile and he stroked her calf, smirking at the picture she made with her daughter in her arms, already looking enamoured with her.

He leaned over to take the phone from the nightstand, received an inquisitive look from River’s part. "This makes the absolute best picture." He smirked. "Amy kind of forced me into taking as much pictures as I could while I was awake. I fear she’s a very eager grandmother."

River chuckled faintly, looking back down at Freya. He knew he was taking pictures, and she also knew she was looking horrible right now but she didn’t care. She would be glad to have those picture in the future. She would be a bit proud of it too, it wasn’t everyday that you could show of your newly arrived daughter.

Freya looked up at her with those big blue eyes, a small whimper escaped her. "Hey, it’s okay." River calmed her as best as she could, rocking her slightly. Her little arms and legs became restless and she began to fuss in her arms. "What’s wrong?" River whispered half to herself.

She looked up at the Doctor with a confused frown and he returned her confusion with a crease between his brows. She barely knew what children meant when they were crying. She should have read that book more thoroughly. "Uh, maybe she’s hungry." The Doctor pondered and she looked up with wide eyes. "Should we call a nurse?"

River opened her mouth with hesitation, pondering the thought. Should they? She did had what a child needed to be fed, though. The question was, was she able to use it? Well, yes she was. It wasn’t the right question. It was more like, could she manage breast feeding on her own for the first time?

"Uh, I, no…" She babbled, looking at Freya who was increasingly becoming more restless. "I— I think I can do it. I… uhm…"

Breastfeeding couldn’t be that hard, right?

So how did one do that? Was there a process, was there a… ritual. Urgh, no. At least, she didn’t think so. She knew she should have studied that book more thoroughly, she was regretting it now. _Urgh_ , why was she making this so much more difficult to herself. Alright, so manuals for babies were useful, she admitted it. But now she couldn’t do anything to fix her mistake.

She would have to do this by instinct. Instinct was good, yes. She was a mother now, she had instinct. 

Shifting Freya in one arm, she unbuttoned the top of her pyjama, grateful that she’d been put into a breastfeeding top. That was much more manageable. She glanced slightly at the Doctor and received a reassuring smile from his part. She was quite unsure of herself, but he encouraged her.

Fortunately, she didn’t have a bra on, that was at least easier. She brought Freya closer to her breast and the latter whined. "Alright, uh, so…" She trailed off, shifting into a better position, biting her lips as she saw Freya struggle with her her breast. Alright, helping her was necessary. Her daughter grabbed at her breast and she hesitantly placed her nipple in her mouth. "Uh, so now I don’t really…" She stopped as Freya calmed down instantly and began to latch. River chuckled slightly, biting her lip. "Uh, okay, that works."

She looked back at the Doctor to see the awed look on his face. His face bloomed into a bright smile as she glanced at him. He was astonished. So much for stars and planets when you could witness that. Every time River would do something astonishing and he would simply beam, speechless compared to her wonder.

"It feels a bit weird." She admitted in a whisper. "It kinda feels like someone’s pressing the milk out of you, which is the case but it’s…" She chuckled, shaking her head. "It’s funny. And actually, it gives you a bit of confidence. Someone needs you and you have everything they want. It’s really fulfilling."

The Doctor looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she snorted, patting the space beside her, beckoning him at her side. She shifted slightly to the side and he did as told, crawling up to her level and resting his back against the headboard.

This time, the bed was big enough to accommodate two grown persons. At least, they could have both some kind of comfort. The Doctor looked down at Freya, a besotted smile on his face. He stroked her clothed head softly. "It’s funny, the only word I have in mind is surreal, right now." He said softly, glancing up at her. "Can you even imagine? She’s here, in your arms, and… and that’s such a beautiful sight."

River nodded, pressing her lips together. She leaned her head on his shoulder and exhaled softly. They would both need some time to get accustomed to this new addition in the family, but they were overjoyed. It was too magical for them at the moment, they were having trouble with believing in reality.

"I took pictures of Freya while you were asleep." He spoke after a minute of silence. She hummed, nodding slightly. "And I talked a bit with your parents, they’re very happy. Amy hasn’t finished shrieking." He chuckled, dropping his head on top of hers. "I’ll bring them here later in the day, when we’re presentable."

River snorted. She wasn’t going to argue on how she wasn’t presentable at the moment. But then it was her parents, they didn’t really care. And they wouldn’t mainly come for her. She could already imagine her mother’s shrieks and her father’s simple proud smiles. It was everything she wanted, nothing more. 

They watched Freya as she latched on River’s breast, her eyes half closed. She couldn’t stop repeating it in her head but she was beautiful. She was transcending every law of beauty.

In that moment, she couldn’t feel any happier. It was certainly the middle of the night and her mind was already clouded by sleep but she relished on this moment. She was loving every second of it. She had her husband by her side, her daughter in her arms, what more could she ask for?

She had her family now, her own family. She was living the perfect dream and wasn’t afraid of being taken out of it. It was her dream, her family, her daughter. And it was real, it was there, just under her eyes. And she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

"River…" The Doctor spoke up, breaking the silence around them. She hummed, looking up at him. With a smile, he took her cheeks between his hands and pulled her for a loving kiss. She chuckled tenderly against his mouth, kissing him back with all the love she had inside. "I love you." He whispered against her mouth.

"I love you, too." She said softly. With a tired smile, she dropped her forehead on his shoulder and kissed it. Her eyes tingled with tears, she was a bubbly mess and tried to conceal it as much as she could. But she couldn’t help it, she was happy. Those were happy tears.

She glanced back down at her daughter, blinking the tears away. She had been given everything she wanted in life. Parents, love and a child. She was complete now, she finally felt like she’d taken her revenge on her childhood, on all those nasty people.

She was proud of her family and also a tiny bit proud of herself. She and the Doctor, they had created the most magnificent creature. And her hearts blossomed with joy as she thought of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will come out next Tuesday, on the Pond's anniversary ;)
> 
> Chapter title from Imagine Dragons with 'On Top Of The World'.


	27. Glorious We Transcend

Amy stomped her foot on the floor out of impatience. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she held her lower lip between her teeth. If something didn’t happen soon she would start biting her nails and it was a bad habit she’d been meant to stop.

"Stop it. He’s going to be here any second now." Rory chimed in with a sigh. He stood by her side and she looked up at him, her brows creasing into a frown. He gave her a raised eyebrow, one that meant that he was right. Well, of course she knew he was right. But he was looking so smug.

She huffed, shaking her head.

As if on cue, the wheezing of the TARDIS resonated through the house and Amy sprang to her feet, a squeak on her lips. She ran in the direction of the noise and rocked on her feet as she saw the TARDIS materialise before her eyes. Her cheeks already ached because of the bright smile adorning her features. She couldn’t help it.

The TARDIS’ door cracked open and she saw the Doctor popping his head out, an equally bright smile gracing his lips. Amy shrieked, clapping her hands together at his sight. He opened the door more fully and suddenly found himself with an armful of Amy.

She laughed gleefully against his side and took a small step back, taking his face in her hands and examining him thoroughly. The Doctor knew there was nothing he could do except being analysed from all angles by his mother-in-law. "Oh my God! How are you?" She nearly shrieked.

"I’m good." He smiled as she squished his cheeks.

"Look at those dark circles." She nearly whistled, turning his face to have a better angle at them. He simply rolled his eyes. Yes well, his night had been a little bit eventful, all that he wished for was a nap.

"Shut up." He replied, giving her a brief hug before he went to greet Rory with an equal hug. "Thanks for noticing, though. It’s not every day a Time Lord gets a serious lack of sleep."

"Welcome to fatherhood, Doctor." Rory patted him on the back and he gave a faint nod of his head.

Amy was practically jumping up and down the room in excitement, she couldn’t wait anymore. She was very giddy today, it was surely because of the amount of sugars she put on her cup of tea this morning. This was what kept her awake, although she now thought that she really didn’t need that much to do the job, her excitement kept her well awake.

"Come on… Come on!" She exclaimed, rocking on her feet as the two men were engrossed into a silent discussion. She made her way to the TARDIS door and opened it swiftly, sauntering up the steps to the console room. "Don’t get all chatty. I want to see my granddaughter."

She leaned against the console, beckoning them in with her eyes. They were walking in much too slowly for her own good, if she could simply kick their ass for quicker action she would. The Doctor smiled up at her, knowing full well that she couldn’t repress her excitement and flail-y limbs.

She huffed, turning back to the console and stroking it softly as she had seen the Doctor do multiple times to talk to the TARDIS. The lights in the console flickered, sending warmth around her. She smiled, watching as the TARDIS was sending waves of excitement and happiness all around her console. Amy knew she was sharing her joy and wonder, the TARDIS was part of the family and wanted to take part in this new discovery.

The Doctor walked to the console and began to input coordinates. Amy leaned on the console, turning to him with a grin. He glanced at her, pushing some buttons absentmindedly and shook his head, ducking it down to hide a grin of his own.

"So…" She trailed out the word, emphasising her mischievous tone. She wriggled her eyebrows at him and he rolled his eyes. "How are my two girls?"

The Doctor bit back a grin, letting out a small chuckle. "They’re very good. You’ll see them in not even 5 minutes, Pond." Amy grumbled under her breath for the obvious but she saw him grin even more, it looked like a small was permanently stuck to his face. He sent them into a flight and there was a silence for a second before he spoke again. "River and I are quite tired, but that’s to be expected. Especially for River. But Freya’s a joy, she’s wonderful." He pushed buttons and levers and glanced at them with a timid smile. "She hasn’t cried much since she was born, the midwife says she’s a great baby. So, yeah…" He chuckled, shrugging. "Everything has been wonderful thus far.

Amy beamed in glee, nodding to his every word. She felt her heart bloom in her chest as he spoke. His tone brought out so much joy and awe. His mood illuminated the room, this was so elating. Rare were the moments where a person felt that way, and she felt it so perfect on the Doctor’s face that it grew on her, making her more excited than ever.

"Here we are." He exclaimed as the TARDIS came to a top and he lowered a lever. He turned back to them, a smirk making its way onto his face. "Ready to see your granddaughter?"

"Urgh, don’t make us wait any longer." Amy groaned but jumped up and down in eagerness, a beam adorning her face. She sauntered down the steps and took Rory’s hand on the way, tugging him behind her to keep the pace.

The Doctor descended the stairs with a roll of his eyes and Amy was quick to open the doors in front of her. She found herself face to face with a long corridor bustling with life. "You don’t even know where we are settled." The Doctor said matter of factly and Amy sent him a look, squinting her eyes mischievously. 

"Alright then mister, lead the way." She took a step back from the door and nodded at him to pass before them.

He let out a small laugh and stepped forward, hiding a smile as Amy let out excited noises and Rory showed his excitement much more subtly. The lot he was with, this was going to be an interesting meeting. He was sure of that.

—

River dangled her legs off the edge of the bed, waiting nervously on her parents’ arrival. She was very eager to see them and was sure they were equally eager to meet the new addition to the family. She could already picture her mother’s face and the shrieks of amazement she would make. River dearly hoped Amy wouldn’t shriek much, just for Freya’s sake.

She’d made an effort on herself as she knew her parents would come here. She took a shower, which had been a blessing, and tried to make her hair look as presentable as she was able to make it. This had been a challenge but it had ended up quite nice. She wore it into a low ponytail and placed the rebel curls behind her ears. At least, she didn’t look like a fright.

Freya wriggled gleefully in her little bassinet and River looked down at her with a smile perched on her face. She was surprised at how calm her daughter was, she would have expected to hear more cries and fussing around. Maybe it was her Time Lord genes, maybe it was making her easier to handle.

Smothering the hem of her daughter’s pyjama, River grinned as Freya made a face that she couldn’t yet decipher. It was funny. "Are you excited?" She whispered and caressed her soft cheek with a finger. "You’re going to meet your grandparents, that’s exciting."

Freya wriggled her arms, almost understanding what her mother was talking about. River and Freya were slowly getting to know each other, nearly ready to talk with looks. They already had a strong bond, having had nine months to get to know each other.

River smirked as she readjusted the cap on top of Freya’s head. "Don’t get frightened by the shrieking voice, that’d be your grandmother. She can’t control her shrieks but she doesn’t mean any harm. But then, I think you’ve encountered them many times while you were still in my belly. Well, that’s her, in the flesh."

She chuckled to herself and leaned on her arms. Her belly was still prominent in front of her, and would still be for a days, or weeks. The feeling was strange, Freya was in front of her in her bassinet but she still looked pregnant. Of course she knew she wouldn’t spring back in a second, but then she still had a smidge of hope. Well, it didn’t matter… She was feeling perfectly fine with her daughter in her arms now.

There was a knock at the door and she straightened on the bed. The door cracked open and the Doctor popped his head in, a goofy smile on his face. She smiled, shaking her head at his idiocy. He opened the door more fully and stepped aside to let Amy and Rory enter the room.

The first thing River saw was her mother’s face illuminating as she drank in the sight of the room and fell on Freya’s form in her bassinet. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in the most comic of ways. She approached them and leaned over then bassinet, opening and closing her mouth as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

River smiled softly, watching her mother with laughing eyes. Amy looked up at her and her smile grew, almost in awe. "Oh River…" She trailed off and made a step forward to engulf her in her arms. River stroked her back, a bright smile illuminating her face.

She gave a timid smile to her father and saw the Doctor rocking on his feet behind him, eagerly watching the interaction. Their eyes met and she grinned as her mother wouldn’t let go of her. Amy tightened her arms around her shoulders and made a small noise that looked like a shriek of glee.

When she retreated from the hug, Amy took her daughter’s face in her hands and examined her thoroughly, tilting her head to all angles. "Daughter, you look radiant." She stated, which made River giggle as she swatted at her mother’s hands crunching her cheeks.

"Thank you, mum." River replied, hugging her mother once again with much less crunching. She let her mother kiss her forehead between bouts of small shrieks from her parts. At least, she hadn’t been wrong on her mother’s shrieking, there were a lot of them.

As Amy drew back to focus her attention on Freya in her bassinet, Rory came up to her and offered her a bouquet of flowers. "Congratulations." He said softly as she took the flowers and looked at how pretty they were for a second. 

She looked back up at him with a broad smile, opening her arms to hug him. He complied and engulfed her in a tight embrace. She didn’t hug her father often, both feeling generally too shy to do so. But she relished on those moments where she saw her father proud of her. There was such pride emanating from him, it made her hearts bloom in her chest.

"Thank you, dad." She whispered against his side as he dropped a kiss at her temple.

When he retreated back, he grinned, "And such a beautiful daughter you have here." She chuckled, nodding. She could only approve. 

Amy beckoned Rory over to the bassinet and they both began to gush over little Freya. The latter looked at them with wide round eyes that darted around the room when she was getting too confused as to what was happening to her and why there was suddenly too many people looking at her.

She whined slightly and Amy understood the meaning, calming down faintly on the shrieks.

River looked up at the Doctor. He was still standing a feet away, observing the scene with a smile on his face but deciding not to interfere with it. His eyes crossed hers and she grinned, outstretching her hand for him to come closer.

He approached, sitting on the bed next to her, their shoulders touching. She leaned against him with a content sigh, placing her hand on his thigh. He placed his hand atop hers and laced their fingers together, squeezing her hand in a silent expression of joy.

"Look at her." He whispered against her ear, nodding his head to the bassinet. "She’s very calm." And indeed, she was. She could practically fall asleep if she wanted to, even with the loud commotion happening around her. "She’s not even afraid of Amy’s shrieks."

River chuckled, stroking his knuckles. "She’s had nine months to get used to them. And she’s just curious as to whom this strange person is." The Doctor snorted and she turned her face to his with a sly grin.

"Oh, River!" She turned her face at her mother’s shriek of excitement. "Can I hold her, please?" She asked with such joy and excitement in her voice that River couldn’t refuse her plea.

She complied, nodding. "Sure." She straightened on the bed and patted the vacant space next to her. "Come and sit on the bed and I’ll bring her to you."

Amy sat eagerly next to her and rolled the bassinet closer. She took Freya in her arms with much more confidence than she had a few hours ago. It was funny to see how quickly she learned the most basic of things with her daughter. There was such a feeling of pride to show her parents how well acquainted she already was with her own daughter.

Delicately placing Freya in the crook of her mother’s arms, she adjusted her cap over her head and soothed her slightly as she had began to squirm around in confusion. "There." River said to herself, smiling as her daughter calmed down as she saw no threat to her peaceful sleep.

"Oh, look at that!" Amy beamed, showing her glee to everyone with the brightest of smile on her face. "I’ve got my granddaughter in my arms. Isn’t that exciting?"

The Doctor stood up to immortalise the moment with pictures. River chuckled as she saw her mother smile at the camera while her father came to sit next to her. She turned to him, "Do you want to hold her too?" She asked and he nodded faintly, a genuine smile stretching onto his lips.

Amy handed her Freya back with a much delicacy she could muster and River placed her in Rory’s arms, smiling down at her softly as she looked around curiously, surprised by all this moving around.

Rory readjusted his granddaughter in his arms and bit back a grin. Next to them, Amy had monopolised her phone and with the Doctor they were watching the pictures he had taken earlier that day. River let them be, focusing her attention back on her daughter in her own father’s arms.

She brought her hand up to stroke her cheek. Freya closed her eyes as she lay half awake, content in this peaceful moment.

"She’s beautiful." Rory spoke up and she glanced at his face, seeing the pride and awe shining in his eyes. She gave him a shy smile, ducking her head down to hide a blush. She wasn’t very used to her father giving her compliments with such an intent gaze as this one. "It’s true." He whispered. "She reminds me of you."

River glanced back up, surprised. "You never got to hold me for more than a few minutes." She breathed out faintly, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"And I never forgot." He replied, smiling at her with such intensity. River pursed her lips into a sad smile, looking down at her daughter.

She couldn’t begin to feel like what it had been for him, being robbed of his daughter only moments after her birth. She didn’t know how she would feel it this happened to her. No, scratch that, she would totally know how it would feel and it would crush her. It would destroy her.

"Stop it." Rory relented and she looked back up at him, meeting his eyes to see a comforting smile placed on his lips. "I know what you’re thinking about but please don’t. It was a long time ago and we’re fine now, we’re very good. And we made everything that we could so that would not happen again."

She gave him a tentative smile and nodded, looking back down at Freya. She was sleeping now, peaceful in her grandfather’s arms. She would need to tell her about him someday. Tell her about the last centurion and about the man who died over and over again, always coming back without an ounce of resent in his veins. She would tell her about the hero her father was.

Such a family Freya had. There would be plenty of stories to be told. Plenty of tales and discoveries. She could already picture it all.

"I’m proud of you." Rory said, his voice barely above a whisper. She missed a heartbeat and looked up at him, her voice in her throat. There was a genuine smile on his face. "I admit that the beginning it was a bit rocky, not that we wanted it to be." He chuckled and she smiled. "But… You’re everything I could have ever hoped in a daughter."

"Dad…" She breathed out, feeling her eyes brim with tears.

"I know I’m not one to show my emotions easily, we’re the same on that point." He said, grinning at he with a flicker of a laughter behind his eyes. "But I’m proud of what you become and what you are today." He looked down at Freya and rocked her slightly in his arms. "Look at what you made."

River snorted, nodding tearfully at his words. She caressed her daughter’s cheeks, feeling like the world couldn’t get any brighter. "Thank you, dad." She smiled, hugging him briefly to the side before drawing back to brush at her eyes. "Sorry, I’m a mess." She chuckled to herself. "It’s just those damn emotions, you know. It’s been a rollercoaster since Freya is here."

"Don’t apologise." He smiled up at her. "We’re all a bit misty eyed." He snorted and she smiled, nodding with tears in her eyes. "Here, I’m giving you your daughter back so we can say she’s the one who made you cry." River snorted, letting out out a bubbly laugh. "She’s your emotion shell now."

River laughed as he handed her her daughter back. She nestled her into her arms and rocked her slightly as she slept. The Doctor reappeared by her side and sat on the bed, peering down at Freya and traveling a finger down her small button nose.

River looked at him and observed his face. His mouth twitched with a smile and his eyes had a twinkle in them that she knew he held for the sight of stars and planets. But now it was directed at their daughter. It made her hearts blossom.

She realised a few seconds later that he was actually looking at her now, his gaze full of many emotions that she couldn’t all decipher. His eyes were drinking her in and she felt like blushing suddenly. "What?" She whispered only to him, asking him what was passing through his head at that moment.

He grinned like the besotted idiot he was. "You’re glorious." He breathed out, his gaze holding such an intensity. She ducked her head down, gazing at her daughter as a blush spread from her neck to her cheeks.

She swallowed the happy tears and looked back up at him, smiling with sparkling eyes that had nothing to do with the light and everything to do with her happiness. Biting her lips, she let out a bubbly laugh.

Now, a new adventure began…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So today, it's the 26th of June, which is at the same time the Pond's anniversary, River's conception's date but also Freya's one. And this is totally made on purpose just so that I can say they were conceived the same day!  
> This is the end for this story but I still have a little something under my sleeves, just you wait... ;)  
> Leave a kudo if you liked this story and, even better, leave a comment! (this is what fuels me to write, truly)  
> Thanks for reading my story, I'll be back soon!!
> 
> Chapter title by Gabrielle Aplin with 'Salvation'.


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